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NewNation Viral News

NewNation.sg is quite obviously, the most unique site in Singapore. 

We report 50% real news using 50% investigative journalism — resulting in 25% factual accuracy. We make an effort to write funny commentary. (Note that qualifier “make an effort”).

Any resemblance to the truth in what we write is completely coincidental.

Our content is haphazard, void of real meaning and never as stimulating as The Economist. You’d snigger along with us occasionally though. Unless you are the one being made fun of.

It is also the only truly independent media in Singapore — independent of reality.

Lastly, we are powered by magic and hubris.

Training ground a.k.a. Platform where writing goes to die

We’re always on the lookout for contributors who are also dysfunctional. Contact us if you want to try your hand at satire. Or if you’re a hot girl.

Meet the team

Belmont Lay – founder

Terence Lee – founder

Joey Tan – intern

Praise for New Nation

New Nation is waste of space. Get a real job, losers.”
— Sam Gunner, Partner at Property investments Private limited

“Online wise, it sometimes brings out the worse of us, especially when we use it as an opportunity to run others down… One should take issue with the publication (New Nation) perhaps? Why make fun of her, parody or not?”
— Tan Chuan-Jin, Member of Parliament (MP) representing the Marine Parade Group Representation Constituency

“Actually I find that your fake news are not funny or entertaining at all.”
— Yan Moo, some chick on Facebook

“Bro, looks like you are scraping the bottom of the barrel posting this as satire.”
— Max Arumugam, works at Atos

“Wa lao this type of reasons also have??! Sibeh bo liao.”
— K Ashley Chong, studied Business Management at Uni. Portsmouth

New Nation also finding it hard to be the only credible fake news site in Singapore, starts recycling content.”
— Peter Lin, Content Writer at MoneySmart

PAP MPs barely hold back joy, hail badminton as favourite childhood sport of all time

PAP MPs from that particular walk of life, who like to claim credit when things go well and make learning points out of errors and move on when things go badly, are in pounce position.

 

This after a Singaporean badminton player Loh Kean Yew beat two-time Olympic gold medallist Lin Dan and emerged champion at the Thailand Masters finals on Sunday, Jan. 13.

One Singaporean, Yin Leow Loh, said: “It is good to see PAP MPs supportive of sports in Singapore.”

“After the sportsmen and sportswomen win.”

“Keeping a close watch on Singapore sports to celebrate wholeheartedly when there is a win must be made into a full-time job.”

“Takes a lot of expertise to do it.”

“Loh Kean Yew has been adopted as the new LKY.”

“Coincidence? Don’t think so.”

Other locals said politicians celebrating wins will also have its upside.

Another local, Shu Tng Kor, said: “It is funny how no PAP politicians claim credit for Singapore football’s abysmal results.”

“Shows you the true class of leadership we’ve elected.”

Lee Kuan Yew should have checked his will more thoroughly before he died

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who went through at least primary and secondary education, are shaking their heads and making loud tsk tsking noises as they cannot believe the type of silly error that has occurred as a result of not double checking.

 

This after they are witnessing the aftermath of a careless slip made by the late Lee Kuan Yew and are chiding him for it posthumously, as they felt it could all have been avoided had he just taken some time out to make sure things were correct before moving on.

One Singaporean, Bu Yin Gai, said: “Lee Kuan Yew managed to fight the Communist, gain independence from the Malaysians, reduced corruption to zero, and modernise Singapore, but actually failed to check his own will.”

“That’s like getting all the answers in the exam right only to write your name wrongly on the front sheet.”

“It is like being ready to win the Olympic marathon gold medal, but realise on race day you brought two left side shoes.”

“A rookie mistake.”

Other locals said Lee Kuan Yew not making his will watertight is an error befitting of Singapore’s opposition, and not a world class lawyer known to have one of the finest minds in the Commonwealth.

Another local, Jin Ou Da, said: “Such an error is not befitting of a headstrong prime minister, but more like a fly by night opposition candidate.”

“For someone who articulated himself so clearly to the electorate and even learnt another language and a new dialect just to reach the masses because he wanted to be understood, only to not be clear about his intentions to his own family members at home, is like going back after a long day and taking the best shower in a while only to realise you forgot to take off your socks and shoes.”

“If Lee Kuan Yew was alive, he would never have allowed this to happen.”

“It is almost as if this only happened because he passed away.”

S’poreans give Khaw Boon Wan 3 days to say sorry for transport woes

This after Khaw has been made to take responsibility for the nation’s transport woes over the last few years and given the ultimatum of apologising in Parliament.

He also needs to retract any statements made in Parliament that suggest public transportation in Singapore has become better when there is no evidence to support this is so, and that cheap public transport is not feasible.

One Singaporean, Jiang Soh Lee, said: “Transport Minister Khaw made these statements based on suspicions and not evidence. These comments were made to convince Singaporeans the current state of transportation is the best in all possible worlds.”

“This cannot be the case as Singaporeans have set out the facts on this issue over the past few years, showing that MRT breakdowns are not getting fewer nor shorter.”

“The tunnel even got flooded, if we remember correctly.”

Other locals said giving Khaw a chance to apologise would bode well for other PAP ministers.

Another Singaporean, Kee Zi Sah, said: “Once Khaw apologises, it will open the floodgates for other ministers to come forward to apologise.”

“Once they are done, Khaw can then commit hara-kiri.”

“This will be followed by others.”

“But by so refusing, his conduct falls short of the standard of integrity and honor expected of all members. I must, therefore, put the honorable member on notice, and the rest of the House too, that if he repeats such dishonorable conduct, I will refer the matter to the Committee of Non-apologies.”

S’porean who witnessed bullying can’t wait to do something about it online

A Singapore man couldn’t hide his delight as he made his way back home after witnessing first-hand a bully verbally abusing a helpless victim.

 

The man, who had a noticeable bounce in his step, spoke excitedly about how much good he would be able to achieve on the Internet later on.

See Kak Poh, the Singaporean man, said: “I have at least six minutes of footage on that guy scolding the victim, 30 seconds of which you can kind of see what’s going on.”

The man expected at least over 100 comments sharing his disgust of the situation that played out.

Wiping away a lone tear secreting out the corner of his eye, he reflected on just how much he is helping that poor victim.

See said: “I just know he will appreciate that there are still some people trying to stop all this bullying.”

“After it happens, of course.”

S’pore must do more to censor undesirable content

There are many things out there that are negative influences.

 

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know something is not good just by looking at it once, are calling for more censorship of undesirable and offensive content.

 

This after they feel they are exposed to many pieces of content from the mainstream media that is detrimental to their emotional and mental health, as well as leaving the young feeling corrupted.

One Singaporean, Bei Fei Lee, said: “Every time I turn on the TV or read the news, I feel molested and unclean.”

“Got all these party political images that are symbols of hegemony and authoritarianism. Feels like I’m living in a mind control environment.”

“See already eyes pain.”

Other locals said stricter measures must be undertaken to ensure Singapore cleans up its act.

Another local, Chui Jin Chao, said: “All these vulgar sights and sounds are terrible.”

“One moment it is, ‘Degrees are not needed in the future, focus on skills’, the next moment it is, ‘You only need a small space to have sex’.”

“This kind of talk has no place in polite society.”

S’pore govt says S’pore govt doing a good job

 

Who can see progress and regression at the same time, are calling out Marsiling-Yew Tee GRC as the first staunchly Chinese GRC in Singapore.

 

This after its only Indian MP Halimah Yacob will become the next president of Singapore come September 2017.

One Singaporean, Ma Lai Ren, said: “In a bid to reserve the elected presidency for Malays, Singapore inevitably makes an Indian woman become president.”

“Worse, this leaves Marsiling-Yew Tee GRC as the first and most staunchly Chinese GRC in Singapore as there are three heterosexual, upper class Chinese men left to run the place.”

“If this isn’t the face of male Chinese privilege, I don’t know what is.”

Other locals said three Chinese men in a GRC is not the worst thing for Singapore.

Another local, See Mi Sai, said: “The worst thing for Singapore is to have three Chinese men who believe they have what it takes to represent the minority groups.”

“The absolute worst are those Chinese men who believe they have highly fluid identities and are expansive in lived experiences to act as representatives of subjugated persons when they don’t at all.”

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head-review

Gabrielle Hamilton

Fedex Australia

PM Lee Hsien Loong #10YearChallenge reminds S’poreans of regime change soon

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who do no keep tabs on how long things have been this way, were suddenly jolted from their slumber.

 

This after they saw Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong take part in the “10-year challenge” on social media, and making Singaporeans realise it has been quite long since he has been in power.

One Singaporean, Fan Dui Dang, said: “The #10YearChallenge by PM Lee is a reminder we haven’t changed our prime minister in a decade.”

“In fact, it has been more than 14 years since PM Lee ascended to the prime ministry,”

“It is time for regime change.”

Other locals said the #10YearChallenge is timely as it is a good measure of how much things have changed.

Another local, Mei Gai Bian, said: “PM Lee looks like he hasn’t changed much other than his hair growing grey.”

“This is exactly like how Singapore has changed: By not much because there still isn’t a Swiss standard of living even after all these years.”

“All Singapore has become is greyer.”

“Not much freedom, not much excitement, and still a lot of prohibitions, but with more old people.”

“The only reason PM Lee is able to do this #10YearChallenge is because Singaporeans have been gracious enough to allow him to. He and his colleagues need to be reminded of that.”

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