Tag Archive | "Xiaxue"

Xiaxue’s lawyer looks set to make a lot of money off Xiaxue

Xiaxue’s lawyer looks set to make a lot of money off Xiaxue

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By forcing SMRT Ltd (Feedback) to shut up, another 10 Facebook pages will pop up to take its place.

xiaxue-ugly

Xiaxue’s lawyer, whom she engaged to take out a Protection Order against Facebook group SMRT Ltd (Feedback) and serving them notice via email and Facebook, looks set to make big bucks from his blogger client.

This after the lawyer successfully got the State Courts to issue a Protection Order under Originating Summons to shut SMRT Ltd (Feedback) up, prevent them from publishing or continuing to publish more honest statements about Xiaxue — for now.

Singaporeans who heard of this news roundly applauded the lawyer’s candour and actions, as he is set to become very rich making money off Xiaxue because he will never run out of work applying for protection orders on Xiaxue’s behalf.

Tan Dua Lui, one Singaporean who was very impressed, said with SMRT Ltd (Feedback) clamming up, another 10 or more Facebook pages run by anonymous people will be set up to take its place and she will have to engage her lawyer’s services on a routine basis: “Wah the lawyer is damn smart making a lot of money off her.”

“One Facebook page can shut up now. But this will cause 10 Facebook pages run by anonymous people to be set up to take its place.”

“The she needs her lawyer to send 10 letters on her behalf to the admin of the 10 Facebook pages.”

“And after they shut up, another 100 anonymous Facebook pages will be set up to take their place.”

“Imagine one letter he writes she pays him $25… 100 letters will cost $2,500.”

“Wah I should have gone to law school last time so I can also make so much money sending emails.”

“Maybe grow up already can help defend the future prime minister and earn derisory amounts of money.”

 

Engaging a lawyer is peanuts because Xiaxue is awesome:

Xiaxue deserves our respect

Thanks, Xiaxue, for ruining family photos forever

S’porean children lament the state of adults after witnessing Xiaxue-Gushcloud spat

NSF recruits say monthly SAF allowance of $480 is ‘not derisory enough’

$10,000 notes phased out in S’pore as they are not derisory enough

 

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S’porean children lament the state of adults after witnessing Xiaxue-Gushcloud spat

S’porean children lament the state of adults after witnessing Xiaxue-Gushcloud spat

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They are shocked that adults can be so petty and useless.

xiaxue-fucked-up-kid

Young children in Singapore from all walks of life, who are supposed to be raised properly by adults, have expressed their disappointment in adult Singaporeans.

This after the young ones witnessed first-hand the public spat between self-serving blogger Xiaxue and Gushcloud, a company that runs a sty of bloggers who would do things in exchange for money.

One five-year-old kid, Jiak Baey Tua, said he finds the behaviour of both Xiaxue and Gushcloud questionable, as he thought adults were supposed to be responsible, employable and to exercise better judgement overall: “You mean what these adults are doing actually constitute a form of gainful employment in Singapore?”

“Doing nothing but pursuing conspicuous lifestyle choices and engaging in superficial and vacuous pursuits like fashion and make-up can be a job?”

“You mean Lee Kuan Yew risked his life all those years ago to fight the Communists for this?”

The questions and critiques don’t end there.

Another six-year-old child, Boh Ka Xi, spoke out against the antics of such adults in Singapore, saying that witnessing the behaviour of Xiaxue and how New Economy companies like Gushcloud function make him fear growing up: “Whatever happened to being courteous, naturally curious, exercising due diligence, and ultimately, engaging in a vocation that will be of benefit to the larger society?”

“I think what worries me the most is that I will end up like them, or worse, have to live in a society occupied with people like this.”

“Satre did say, ‘Hell is other people’. And I think I know what he means already.”

xiaxue-no-plastic-surgery-0

 

S’porean Instagram ‘star’ who lost 8,700 followers overnight believes many of her fans died suddenly

Xiaxue deserves our respect

Thanks, Xiaxue, for ruining family photos forever

Xiaxue deserves our respect

Xiaxue deserves our respect

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A letter writer and Xiaxue fan explains why no one is allowed to criticise Xiaxue.

xiaxue-baby

Dear New Nation,

It has come to my attention that a lot of people are criticising Xiaxue lately because she just given birth to a son.

Check out her response to her haters on Facebook:

xiaxue-fb-comment

Therefore, I would like to advise everyone out there who is a Xiaxue hater to stop picking on her. She does not deserve to be criticised.

This is because Xiaxue is not only my favourite blogger, she is Singapore’s best blogger.

Hence, no one is allowed to talk bad about Xiaxue, unless you are more popular and more beautiful than her.

I do not wish to argue with anyone but I can offer three good reasons why only Xiaxue can talk bad about other people, but other people cannot talk bad about her and her newborn baby.

I will prove all your arguments and counterarguments as invalid.

1. Firstly, Xiaxue is the first and best blogger in Singapore

Xiaxue’s blog attracts 50,000 readers a day. She is very famous online and even people on the street also recognise her.

This makes Xiaxue a celebrity and she is even more famous than Joanne Peh and Qi Yuwu.

And the reason she can attain this fame is because she is the first blogger in Singapore having been blogging since April 2003.

And why is she the first blogger? Because there is no other blogger who has blogged as long as her.

Being the first on the scene gives her the right to talk bad about everyone else.

2. Secondly, Xiaxue makes the most money online.

This means that what she says is very important. Only rich people are allowed to comment about other people because other people who are not as rich and as famous will not be taken as seriously as Xiaxue.

So, if anyone of you want to talk bad about Xiaxue, please at least make sure you are more famous, thank you very much.

3. Lastly, Xiaxue is pretty

People who insult Xiaxue should take a good hard look at themselves first.

Look at Xiaxue. She is very pretty. Blonde, sharp nose, big eyes, a full chest and looks tall in photos.

Best of all, her good looks has allowed her to marry an American i.e. a Caucasian. He fell in love with her because she does not wear that much make-up and she has natural blue eyes.

It is no surprise her baby looks mixed blood and this will only make Xiaxue more famous in the future.

Yours truly,
Xiaxue fan

Replace Sumiko Tan with Xiaxue

Replace Sumiko Tan with Xiaxue

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Queen of fillers Sumiko Tan struck again over the weekend with her article about how Singapore is in its golden age.


That, right after the MDA just banned a comedy short that was selected to be screened at the prestigious SHORTS Film Festival in May 2012 in Adelaide, Australia. The panel selected to represent Singaporeans from “all walks of life” apparently decided that the screening of the film to the virginal public would be offensive, and harmful to community standards.

In the eyes of the Straits Times’ news editor, Singapore’s Golden Age has nothing to do with restrictions on artistic work that are chalking up accolades elsewhere. What then? To sum up the half-page worth of drivel: Singapore as good as ________________________

a) how much it impresses the tourists sitting on Duck Tours
b) a super mall in the “far flung West” part of of the 40-km wide island known as Jurong
c) condos, condos and more condos in Punggol
d) the people who can afford a second property for investment
e) the number of foreigners who want “to be part of the action”

To end it off, Mdm Tan gives you, the reader, a choice, PAP-style:

Between being a magnetic, magnificent city that has to grapple with the problems of success (income inequality, crumbling infrastructure, crowdedness, loss of heritage spots) and a drab backwater town crying for foreign investments and tourists, I prefer the former anytime.

Here’s a riddle: Sumiko Tan is to a false dichotomy as easily impressionable tourists are to applause outside Marina Bay Sands. Which incidentally, is a national icon that doesn’t even belong to the nation.

After decades of boring the country with details about her boobs, her singlehood, getting old, and essentially everything you talk to with your best friend in private but now published on Sundays with captions on the front cover of the main paper and the lifestyle section, New Nation man says that its time for a younger woman with larger tits to take the helm.

And who better to do it than the queen of blogging, Xiaxue. Here’s 6 reasons why:

1) Xiaxue is one step ahead in the family planning curve and can write reams worth of columns about babies

Expectant mother hath her cups runneth over.

2) Xiaxue is less easily impressed

Her meanness, on why student interviews are lame.

3) Xiaxue is funny. Actually, sometimes funnier than us.

You have to admit, reading about Xiaxue losing weight beats reading about Sumiko Tan whining about being fat.

4) Xiaxue has a personality.

She’s had plastic surgery and is not afraid to wax lyrical about it

5) Xiaxue can photoshop pretty pictures of herself to accompany the column, which would mean less work for ST illustrator Adam Lee. So Warren Fernandez can dock his pay and create more profits for the more profitable paper in town.

We suspect this one had photoshopping all around, except for on the eyes.

6) Xiaxue has friends and a husband to contribute opinion from real people in her posts. Sumiko Tan is a world class solipsist.

SHOPPING!!! ZOMG!!

And therefore, we conclude that
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No actually there’s no conclusion to this post. Just replace Sumiko Tan with a turtle. Please.

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Or even better, a turtle with boobs.

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy overshadowed, S’poreans distraught

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy overshadowed, S’poreans distraught

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Ministry of Home Affairs and Archbishop Nicholas Chia to blame.

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy has been overshadowed by petty politicking.

Singaporeans from all walks of life are crying foul.

They are upset that the recent extensive media coverage given to the spat started by Archbishop Nicholas Chia and the Ministry of Home Affairs is at the exclusion of news that leading woman’s rights figure, Xiaxue, is pregnant.

And this consequence, to some, is dire.

One Singaporean woman in her 30s, who wanted to be known as Boh Tao Nao, said: “I’m curious to find out if someone who has plastic surgery done to sharpen her nose will pass on that physical trait to her baby, but I cannot, because no one in the media has interviewed a leading geneticist for the answer?”

Upset that Singapore’s focus is all wrong, another woman in her late 20s, Gong Dai Dai said: “The MHA should re-look its priorities. Doesn’t the ‘Home’ in Ministry of Home Affairs stand for ‘Domestic’? Why the lack of coverage of Xiaxue’s domestication then?”

One of Xiaxue’s unofficial fan club, Fanatical Xiaxue Crusaders, Kakis (FXCK), has been lobbying the media to change its stance. They want the media spotlight to veer towards real news instead of what the head of the Catholic Church, Archbishop Nicholas Chia, did not do or say, because until early this week, no one knew or cared who he is.

However, there have been some others who are taking this opportunity to decry the twin terror of excesses in society today — politics and religion.

Zhou Gong Tao, one of those who views politics and religion as the cause of all problems and shopping and eating as the panacea, said: “It is without a doubt that the excesses of religion and politics have shown their true colours and Singapore is being threatened by them.”

Therefore, a more reasoned approach has to be proposed to resolve all problems today.

“We all know what to do to solve the problem. MHA ought to abolish religion. And then MHA should fold and call it a day after that,” Zhou said.

Thanks, Xiaxue, for ruining family photos forever

Thanks, Xiaxue, for ruining family photos forever

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Look how pretty... her heavily powdered face is.

Dear Xiaxue,

I’m writing to you to complain about Face of Haters, the recent exposé you’ve written, where you published and ridiculed family photos of men that insulted you and your friends on Facebook.

Now, I’m afraid I can’t look at family portraits the same way again.

It used to be that when I see a dad in such pictures, I would go: “Wow, he must be such an awesome dad, raising two beautiful children and marrying such a gorgeous wife.” Read the full story

My wishlist for Singapore politics

My wishlist for Singapore politics

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No more football analogies, no more treating Chen Show Mao like God, and no more dumb tweets.

By Terence Lee

The Church of Show Mao at Bedok Stadium. Photo: TERENCE LEE

LIFE is meaningless again.

After days of doping on election news, attending rallies, chanting “Kate Spade!”, and getting teary-eyed when Aljuniedians gifted their GRC to the Worker’s Party, Normalcy feels incredibly mundane.

And it’s this normalcy I dread.

Soon, the rambunctious politician in all of us will hibernate, only to climb out of the cave again in another five years.

Soon, we will be concerned only about earthy, shallow things like getting that BTO flat, finding that succulent buffet spread, and watching Transformers 3. No one will care anymore about the fairness of the political system, high ministerial salary, and the intricacies of our HDB policy.

Of course, I sense that this time, things will be different, and more people will actually care. So, before we turn into amnesic, apathetic drones, here’s my wishlist for Singapore politics over the next five years:

1) No more football analogies, please

First, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong got started about Singapore only needing one national team. Then Ah Mao rebutted him by saying that the national team wears red and white, not white and white. Finally, WP supremo Low Thia Khiang complained about the People’s Action Party changing the size of the goalposts.

Honestly, I felt really left out throughout the campaigning period. While there are millions of Singaporeans that care about football, what about those who don’t watch the beautiful game?

And no, I don’t drive either.

So, for the sake of national unity, I hope campaigners will use analogies all Singaporeans can identify with. Like food for example. And please, don’t get me started about trees and mushrooms.

Seriously, what I’m hoping for is more inclusive politics. No more gerrymandering and grassroots network bias towards the PAP. No more painting the other side as dubious.

And for goodness sake, I hope the WP team in Aljunied gets proper Town Council offices. I also wish that Hougang and Aljunied will not be penalised in terms of Town Council funding.

2) Chen Show Mao is not God. So, stop treating him like one

Will he become Chairman Mao of the Worker's Party? Graphic: CARTOON PRESS

I think the team at New Nation must repent. We got a little carried away during the elections, and started worshipping Ah Mao. Someone I knew even called him “Jesus”.

Sorry, fangirls and boys, but he is mortal like all of us. He can’t walk on water, and should he fumble and fall, it’ll be hard to resurrect his political career.

Same goes for the entire Aljunied team. Anything can happen in five years. Aljunied may not be well-run, and they may lose the GRC in 2016. Lee Kuan Yew may prove to be prophetic when he said residents will need to “repent”. The PAP may raise their game by the next elections, and voters could swing back into the warm embrace of the ruling party.

So, the WP better bulk up and improve.

3) No more petty catfights within the opposition parties

There’s too much pettiness within the opposition. For goodness sake, how old are you guys, 12??

Leading up to the 2011 elections, Goh Meng Seng left the WP to join the National Solidarity Party. Chia Ti Lik, too, left the men in blue to form the Socialist Front.

Many moons ago, J.B Jeyaretnam, unhappy with the lack of support from Low Thia Khiang, left the party he led to kickstart the Reform Party. After he passed away, his son Kenneth snatched the leadership role from Ng Teck Siong, and he got kicked out in the process.

And more recently, prominent Reform Party members like Tony Tan, Hazel Poa, and Nicole Seah left Kenneth’s party to join the NSP. As for Ng Teck Siong, he joined the Socialist Front but resigned soon after finding out they are not contesting in this elections.

There’s enough material here for a 20-episode drama, something we don’t need.

So by the next elections, I hope the opposition candidates can move beyond party hopping. It’s stupid to squabble over scraps when they should be gunning for the PAP. Although there’s recent talk of a merger between the SDP, SPP and NSP, these parties have a lot to prove.

And now we’ve received news that Eric Tan of the Worker’s Party has resigned because he was passed over for the NCMP position. Yet another episode to the long-drawn drama.

4) No more dumb tweets

Social media has given us unexpected stars like opposition darling Nicole Seah and Returning Officer extraordinaire Yam Ah Mee. But there’s a raw, unrestrained, and downright ugly side to it as well.

Case in point: Xiaxue resorted to childish name-calling when lamenting over PAP’s loss in Aljunied:

What a way to prove to her haters that she’s no dumb blond: Calling the other 54.71% of Singaporeans who voted for the WP “moronic” and “blind”. She blames voters for the loss of George Yeo, but does she realise that even the Straits Times, in at least two editions, have hinted that the GRC system could be responsible for his exit from politics?

5) Reform within the PAP

This is the major biggie. To earn the respect of opposition supporters, they need to reform the political system. Cut ministerial salary, reform the GRC system, and respect the opposition parties. They also need to listen to young voters, who don’t take kindly to high-handedness and arrogance.

Policy-wise, Workfare must be enhanced to give more aid to the hardworking poor, and housing costs must be reined in. Censorship of the arts and the media must be adjusted to keep pace with the times, and more help has to be accorded to disenfranchised groups like AIDS sufferers and single families.

If the Men in White are serious enough about reform, my vote in the next elections might just go to them.

Just being Ris Low

Just being Ris Low

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New Nation catches up with the former beauty queen, as well as actress Irene Ang and magicians J C Sum and ‘Magic Babe’ Ning at the m:idea Youth Choice Awards.

By Dannon Har

Arriving late on scene but enjoying the limelight nonetheless, Ris Low ladies and gentlemen. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG

Award winners

Cutest Male Personality I Wanna Bring Home – Dai Yang Tian

Hottest Female Personality I Wanna Date – Joanne Peh

Best OMG! MomentRis Low’s April Fool’s Day prank on 987FM

Band I Wanna Throw Myself At – Jack & Rai

Celeb Duo I Wanna Chill With – The Muttons

Coolest Blogger I Wanna Gossip With (Xoxo) – Xiaxue

Favourite Nightspot – Zouk

Favourite Tech Brand – Apple

Favourite Fashion Brand – Topshop/Topman

Favourite Restaurant – Swensen’s

Favourite Dessert Café – Frolick

Favourite Online Store – Love, Bonito

AVID reader of The Business Times? Then consider yourself in the same league as former beauty queen Ris Low.

“People who don’t know me might think that I am a shallow person, but mind you I do read Business Times one okay!” she says.

She also admits to putting on her best behaviour recently, considering that her 24 months probation for credit card fraud is finally coming to an end.

And yeah, she had just won the “Best OMG! Moment” award for two years running at the m:idea Youth Choice Awards held last Saturday.

The event is organised by m:idea – Singapore’s first youth-led media conglomerate from Ngee Ann Polytechnic.

But some things don’t change: Ris arrived late (read: after the event), and one wonders if this was another publicity stunt. Her excuse this time? Bad weather and vehicular malfunctions.

The event saw about 200 people turn up. Youths gave their verdict on their favourite celebs and brands by casting over 58,000 votes between November 15 to December 14 last year.

Popular celebs that made the red carpet event include heartthrob Nat Ho, funny host Irene Ang, comedic DJs The Muttons, local musicians Jack and Rai, and illusionists J C Sum and ‘Magic Babe’ Ning, just to name a few.

Irene Ang, a famous comedienne, cafe owner, and movie producer, had audiences laughing out loud.

Better known as Singlish-speaking, flowery-dressed, Ah Lian, Rosie Phua from the hit sitcom Phua Chu Kang, Irene turned heads and melted hearts as she stole the show with her unique brand of humour.

“I come from the school of hard-knocks, hard-work, and heart-breaks,” says Irene when asked how she became so good at what she does.

Her wisdom for the young and entrepreneurial: “The thing is, don’t give up so easily, and if it doesn’t work, be brave enough to say this is not what I am good at, let me look for something else; because you’re still young; so when you are young don’t feel like you have to get it right the first time.”

Want more advice from top celebs?

“We use Facebook alot” says Ning the ‘Magic Babe’, lashes fluttering. “It’s really wasted if you aren’t contemporary; we see ourselves as commercial artists and you need to constantly revamp and be in tune with what today’s people wanna see.”

J C Sum added: “With YouTube we can see what other people are doing so we make sure we don’t do anything that anyone is doing; and what we do is first in the world.”

But there’s more to it.

“If you want to do it (magic) commercially, for money; just understand that this is showbiz and it is a different ballgame altogether just like any other commercial creative artist.”

Finding it difficult to resist, I asked them for next week’s winning 4D numbers (since they successfully predicted the winning digits before). Ask and you shall receive, right?

“Zero, zero, zero, zero,” says J C Sum confidently.

But I wouldn’t bet on it if I were you.

  • Eager audiences line the red carpet anticipating for the celebrities that should arrive anytime now..or now..or now.. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • No it’s not a protest. Nat Ho’s fan club came down in full-force bearing posters, placards and neon signs all for the sake of fandom. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • The ‘bad weather’ Ris Low was talking about. Somehow other celebs managed to come on time. Sorta. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Multi-talented artist and entrepreneur Irene Ang graced the event as a Celebrity guest host. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Winning “Celebrity Duo I Wanna Chill Out With”, The Muttons agree that the best chill-out spot is still at home. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Duane Ho, finalist in Singapore Idol 3, is here to do a surprise opening number for the m:idea Youth Choice Awards 2011. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Luminiq: Dance crew and runners up of One Moment of Glory. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Dual-wielding Sai action by 'Magic Babe' Ning. This scene was probably more alluring than the illusion itself. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG
  • Dannon poses with Ris: She does look smarter now! Maybe it was just a matter of wearing the right accessories. Photo: KIMBERLY ONG