Tag Archive | "world cup singapore"

Number of MCs on record high

Number of MCs on record high

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Ministry of Health declares health warning, recommends people stay at home

Epidemic

Epidemic

More than 100,000 people called in sick last Friday morning with symptoms varying from “headache” to “runny nose” and “severely infectious cough”. More are still expected to file in sick in the upcoming weeks.

Due to the severity of this unidentifiable disease, the Ministry of Health (MOH), has declared a health warning and recommends that people avoid going to work until the epidemic subsides.

“We have been unable to isolate the virus causing this disease but we do know that it affects mostly males,” said MOH spokesperson Tak Kiu, who also declared MC and was speaking to New Nation over the phone.

According to MOH data, the last epidemic of this proportion occurred in 2012 and lasted for a month, peaking on the 29th and 30th day. As such, it is likely that there will be an economic paralysis on the 12th and 13th of July when two out of five working adults will call in sick.

If you have nothing better to do while on MC, go bet on the world cup 2014. Lose your daiji hor.

Govt orders free World Cup to subdue opposition

Govt orders free World Cup to subdue opposition

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Prime Minister’s office to foot the bill

world cup 2014

The Singapore government has ordered Mediacorp to ensure that all World Cup matches are screened on Channel 5 without advertisements and interruptions. Broadcasting the World Cup on this free to air channel, it said, will win the hearts and minds of Singaporeans in light of the clusterfuck that has emerged from the Roy Ngerng saga.

“I last time angry that my money was locked up in CPF, and I couldn’t afford my Singtel subscription. Now I can watch World Cup for free, angry for what?” said Hoh Seh Liao, a recreational football player who regularly sprains his ankles during the weekend.

As it was Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong who ignited the furore by suing CPF blogger Roy Ngerng, it is only befitting that his office should foot the bill.

“Workers’ Party can do this annot? Cannot right? No money right? Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah,” said PAP spokesperson Dam Chare Dish, when asked if the move was aimed at subduing the opposition.

Note: You might have a better chance winning some money at  world cup 2014 betting, than seeing this actually happening.