Tag Archive | "The Messiah"

S’poreans shocked The Messiah is balding

S’poreans shocked The Messiah is balding

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They say it is an affront to their idea of who The Messiah is.

Photo stolen from Today. Please don't kill us, we credit back to you: http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/suspected-messiah-hacker-charged-court

Photo stolen from Today. Please don’t kill us, we credit back to you: http://www.todayonline.com/singapore/suspected-messiah-hacker-charged-court

Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying amounts of follicles, have expressed outrage and sadness after seeing a photo of someone arrested, who is supposedly The Messiah hacker.

This is so as they noticed that The Messiah is balding, which they feel is an affront to their idea of who The Messiah is.

One Singaporean, Yeshu Aini, said: “I always had this impression The Messiah had long, flowy, slightly curly, brunette shoulder-length hair. Blue eyes, olive skin, a bit emaciated and wore a loose robe with a sash.”

“But this guy, I can almost see a reflection of myself on the top of his head.”

She also said: “But who knows? Maybe he is in the food catering business before and he is capable of feeding 5,000 in a single day.”

 

 

 

 

More S’poreans joining S’pore Police Force after The Messiah arrest

More S’poreans joining S’pore Police Force after The Messiah arrest

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They want to be part of a force that gets credit for high profile arrests.

Photo stolen from SMRT Ltd (Feedback) Facebook

Photo stolen from SMRT Ltd (Feedback) Facebook

Singaporeans from all walks of life want to join the Singapore Police Force.

This after the Singapore Police Force nabbed a guy who they think is The Messiah hacker and are basking in the glory of a job well done.

One Singaporean boy, Qu Zhuo Lao, 12, said he is heartened to hear the news that the police are swift in their arrest: “When Mas Selamat escaped, it was the Malaysian police who caught him. Now The Messiah in KL also the Malaysian police catch.”

“Be Singapore police quite shiok, everything also Malaysians do and in Singapore sort paper work.”

 

 

 

 

If The Messiah hacks Ashley Madison, 26,000 people will be in a quagmire

If The Messiah hacks Ashley Madison, 26,000 people will be in a quagmire

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All 26,000 supporters of Block Ashley Madison – Singapore Facebook page who crave uprightness will be so happy, yet confused.

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To really wind up — but still win the support and approval of — the 26,000 supporters of recently-formed Block Ashley Madison – Singapore Facebook page, The Messiah would just need to hack the adultery website.

This will cause the anti-Ashley Madison camp to cheer because they will be happy they have someone to deal a blow on their behalf.

But at the same time, they will feel conflicted, because as righteous, conservative and morally upright people, they cannot condone hacking.

Yet, on the other hand, they will feel that this is an appropriate way to deal with that very thing that threatens their sense of security and fidelity.

However, it is wrong to hack because Lee Hsien Loong said it is not the right thing to do.

Nonetheless, it feels good because it is forbidden.

But deterrence shouldn’t be carried out in this way.

But it feels so good.

This is exactly how adultery feels like.

 

 

 

 

S’pore govt put up Wanted posters asking for information about The Messiah

S’pore govt put up Wanted posters asking for information about The Messiah

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Anyone with vital information leading to arrest will get $500 Medisave reward plus $50 deposited to CPF Ordinary account.

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In a bid to hunt down the elusive The Messiah hacker asap, the Singapore government is turning to crowdsourcing for clues.

They want to arrest him in the shortest time possible and are dangling rewards to citizens with vital information.

This after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong personally said that he will catch The Messiah with his bare hands and throw him into the Singapore River.

The payoff for a tip-off includes a $500 Medisave reward plus $50 deposited to CPF Ordinary account.

A coast guard spokesperson, Lia Pai Lang, who was in charge of securing Singapore’s coastline the last time to prevent Mas Selamat from escaping, said: “I think the $500 Medisave reward is quite attractive.”

“If your family got hospitalisation, can use the Medisave to pay.”

“And if you look closely, as we suspect The Messiah is Asian, the composite police sketch shows him to have slity eyes.”

 

 

 

 

S’poreans enjoy new found freedoms after quiet Nov. 5 revolution

S’poreans enjoy new found freedoms after quiet Nov. 5 revolution

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They thank The Messiah for breaking down the walls of oppression.

singapore-cbd-crowd

Singaporeans from all walks of life who are quite free, are profusely thanking The Messiah for helping to inspire a revolution in Singapore and breaking down the walls of oppression.

This after The Messiah promised a new world order at the end of Nov. 5 revolution, mostly carried out by the Singapore Flyer.

“In this new dawn of freedom and expression, I talk bad about my boss,” said Jin Hum Ji, a Shenton Way office worker, “behind his back.”

However, that’s not all. With new found freedom, paper-pushing office workers become envelop-pushing dare devils instead.

Kee Jiak Png, another Shenton Way executive said: “Today I went for lunch for one hour and three minutes, instead of one hour.”

But that’s not all.

Wei Shen Zi, another Shenton Way officer worker, said: “I have so much freedom today,” she said, “after I change to another brand of leak-free Kotex.”

 

 

 

 

ST tries to confuse The Messiah, prints Nov. 5 date as Oct. 5

ST tries to confuse The Messiah, prints Nov. 5 date as Oct. 5

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The escalating game of one-upmanship shows no signs of stopping.

Today’s Nov. 5, 2013:
st-print-date

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From the looks of it, things have been taken to the next level.

Not only has The Straits Times gone offline and went back to print newspaper only, to further thwart the plans of The Messiah hacker, they have also changed the date of today’s printed newspaper from Nov. 5 to Oct. 5.

Torrent Hernandez, ST’s editor said: “Neh neh ni boo boo, you cannot hack me.”

 

 

 

 

Straits Times gains upper hand over The Messiah hacker, goes back to print only

Straits Times gains upper hand over The Messiah hacker, goes back to print only

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Sly move thwarts the hacker’s next move.

st-site-maintenance

In a dangerous escalating game of one-upmanship, the national broadsheet The Straits Times has tossed in the ultimate trump card: They are reverting back to printed newspapers only in a bid to thwart The Messiah hacker.

Torrent Hernandez, the editor said: “Neh neh ni boo boo, you cannot hack me.”

And focusing on the print product will also allow ST to improve on the newspaper’s quality.

One vegetable seller, Mai Pang Cai, said: “I used to buy Straits Times in the past because the paper was thick and absorbent, wrap vegetable that time, very good.”

“Nowadays the paper too thin and too much colouring, not good.”

However, on a more serious note, ST could contemplate going to the courts.

A lawyer, Jiang Fa Lui, said ST should consider suing their website designer and content management system builder: “If a showroom sold you a car without car locks, would you buy it?”

“Likewise, shouldn’t you be mad at the website builder who sold you a website that could be broken into so easily?”