Tag Archive | "Tey Tsun Hang"

Sex-for-grades professor to cross examine Red Couch

Sex-for-grades professor to cross examine Red Couch

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NUS law professor Tey Tsun Hang who is facing charges of allegedly paying for expensive pens and sex with grades, will be cross examining a key witness next week — the red couch on which he allegedly banged many a student.

A graphical representation of what the red couch looks like when clean. Kindly ripped off SPH.

“The couch will prove that although I did have carnal intercourse with my student, it was in mutual agreement and not ‘corruptedly extracted’,” announced Tey in court.

Tey is running out of options for witnesses after the prosecution moved to impeach a key witness, Ms Darinne Ko Wen Hui, following the inconsistencies between her statements to the Corrupt Practices Investigation Bureau (CPIB), what the CPIB heard, and what actually happened.

It is clear, however, that they had sexual relations at some point.

Tey is fighting to prove his altering of Ko’s grades from a D to B+ had nothing to do with them having sex.

Of Malaysian nationality, the previously unknown Tey is now also famous for writing politically-charged academic critiques of Singapore’s legal system. A quick look at his articles shows that they, like many other legal papers, are highly soporific and could be weaponised to put the whole parliament to sleep during debate.

“Confirm the government is out to get this professor,” said DownwithLEEgime778, a regular contributor to alternative news site Temasek Review Emeritus. “The PAPpies always damn scared when someone smart writes smart pieces against the gahmen. No one that I know understands his writing, but I’m sure it is bloody tok gong.”

Second-year NUS political science student Antonia Rapparella agrees.

“Almost all the good-looking professors I know are banging their students,” she said. “This is something key to the academic culture everywhere. To have Tey singled out for a sex-for-grades case, which by the way, is very common, means that there’s some sort of conspiracy going on.”

The Red Couch, complete with stains, is currently in quarantine at the CPIB. As the couch cannot speak, Tey will be flying in Hollywood director Clint Eastwood as a translator.

Most anti-corruption officers dying of exhaustion

Most anti-corruption officers dying of exhaustion

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Many of them have worked non-stop since surge in high-profile corruption cases early this year.

In the latest corruption case before the courts, Darinne Ko (top) allegedly exchanged sex with her law professor for grades.

She apparently only got a B grade. So does it mean the professor is innocent because it clearly wasn’t about giving her a good grade?

With the surfacing of the most recent sex-for-grades corruption case involving ex-law student Darinne Ko Wen Hui, 22 and law professor Tey Tsun Hang, 41, the usually squeaky clean, zero-corruption image of Singapore is taking a beating.

And anti-corruption officers are battling exhaustion as many are dying from the workload of investigating so many cases back-to-back since the start of the year, where ex-SCDF commissioner, Peter Lim was investigated for making sexy times with at least three women in exchange for business deals.

The number of cases have been piling up and there appears to be no respite in sight.

An anonymous anti-corruption investigator said: “When I signed up for this job, I thought I could slack because Singapore got very low corruption, right?”

In response to media queries, the Ministry of Corruption Reduction And Prevention (MinCRAP) said: “Corruption cases are still rare, given that all was calm for the last 40 to 50 odd years before this year.”

But anti-corruption officers are not buying it.

They are complaining that they have been working 18-hour days non-stop for the past six months or so.

And many of them are quitting as they do not believe their workload will subside any time soon.

Others, battered but hanging on to their livelihood, are voluntarily signing up for counselling and rehabilitation to cope with the recent spate of sexual gratification cases that have been coming hard and fast.

And with more thorough investigations, anti-corruption officers are finding more graphic details emerging from the cases.

One anonymous inside source said: “Reading the detailed case files makes you feel like you just caught your own uncle masturbating. It’s revolting. It’s not like those under investigation look like Thor or Anne Hathaway, you know.”

Another tells of how sexual gratification cases read like unimaginative, poorly-made porn movies instead.

He said: “It’s always the same: Guy meets girl. Chit chat. Girl wants favour. Can only offer *whistle*. Boink boink. Guy grimaces. Money shot. The end.”

So what changes must take place before anti-corruption officers change their minds about switching careers or checking themselves into counselling?

“If the people getting caught are actually better looking,” another anonymous source revealed.