Tag Archive | "singapore CNB"

ISD building new torture chamber

ISD building new torture chamber

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Designed by CNB officer, chamber mimics “bad trip”

(Based on a true story.)

Beware, the maze is terrifying. PIcture taken from CNB campaign page.

Beware, the maze is terrifying. PIcture taken from CNB campaign page.

The Internal Security Department will be building a new torture chamber based on the experiences of a bad trip. Designed by the Central Narcotics Bureau, the chamber is currently on display at Bugis+ mall and features “jabbing strobe lights and unpleasant hallucinations” to “mimic the disorienting effects of drug intoxication”.

“We had to find a way to get rid of all the confiscated drugs,” admitted CNB officer Lucy “Sky” Diamond who conceptualised the chamber while getting high one night. “There’s nothing more terrifying than tripping on expired product.”

The CNB seized a record $18.3 million worth of narcotics last year, which includes a wide bevy of substances including ganja, ecstasy, heroin and LSD. While it is illegal to resell or even consume the substances, permission for drug-fuelled trance parties was granted by president Tony Tan as it unites the bureau and fosters innovation.

“I dreamt that I was on a date with Ho Ching,” said a terrified CNB officer Wo Hai Pa. “And when she told me what happened to my CPF money, I pissed in my pants. I swear I’ll never take drugs again!”

Initial feedback for the exhibition however, indicates that the display may be ineffective as it only shows that the CNB has been confiscating low-quality substances.

“Yeah,well, that’s just, like, your opinion, man,” said ganja connoisseur Hao Shiong Di. “I nearly spilt my beverage at the overall inaccuracy of the experience. That, and the absence of a rug. Something had to tie the exhibition together.”

The ISD plans to launch the new chamber before the 2016 elections in anticipation of a surge in ISA detainees.

Just thought we'd put it in for good measure.

Just thought we’d put it in for good measure.