Tag Archive | "Sim Lim Tower"

Foreplay caused improper grammar usage in MOE Facebook note

Foreplay caused improper grammar usage in MOE Facebook note

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Female social media administrator incorrectly used the word “redress” instead of “address”.

The Ministry of Education published a Facebook note on July 4 in response to critics’ charge that the organisation in charge of education is biased towards teachers who are virgins.

However, the social media note ended up using the wrong grammar and has dunked the MOE’s Facebook administrator in hot water.

The sentence in question?

“But let us take this opportunity to redress the issue”.

This is incorrect. The correct term should have been “address” instead of “redress”.

Following internal investigations, it was discovered that the culprit for bludgeoning grammar is a 21-year-old female social media administrator for MOE named Lai Shuo Kan.

Lai Shuo Kan is a harlot for posting such photos on her Facebook.

She admitted to having foreplay the night before with her boyfriend, resulting in the wrongful use of grammar when she was composing the note as her mind was still muddled up with impure thoughts.

She also confessed to eating strawberries with whipped cream while lying on her boyfriend’s chest, revealing her right knee, which MOE regards as inappropriate dressing even for after office hours.

She should have covered her legs all the way to her ankles.

Later, she went home to shower and took off all her clothes in the process, further proving once and for all she’s a harlot because she got naked.

A spokesperson familiar with the case, said: “We have a zero tolerance policy when it comes to our staff behaving like harlots and committing carnal sins.”

This case is set to go down into the anals of history as it is the first time MOE has referred a female social media administrator to the Ministry of Corruption Reduction And Prevention (MinCRAP) for rehabilitation.

To prove that action speaks louder birds, MinCRAP has in recent weeks taken a tough approach against sexual corruption ever since charges were brought against ex-SCDF commissioner Peter Lim who had sexy times with different women in exchange for business deals.

An Anti Sex Squad (ASS) has already been established and more than 600 people have been arrested and taken into custody the past three weeks for being in secluded locations at night without a valid reason.

Those arrested or referred to MinCRAP are taken into custody and brought to Sim Lim Tower where they are reminded of the greatest good.

As all public servants have already been issued a personal exercise book that is to be carried around during and after office hours, they have to take it out and copy the lines seen outside the Sim Lim Tower 500 times once they are brought there.

Sexual Misconduct is the root of all evils. Repeat 500 times.

This is done while kneeling down to aid reflection.

MinCRAP: ‘Sexual corruption case is once-in-50-years event’

MinCRAP: ‘Sexual corruption case is once-in-50-years event’

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Benefits of high salaries to deter monetary corruption of public servants lauded.

Ex-SCDF chief, Peter Lim, is proof that high salaries prevent monetary corruption.

The high-profile sexual corruption case involving the ex-Singapore Civil Defence Force Chief, Peter Lim, serves as a timely reminder that Singapore has done very well in keeping corruption levels at a non-existent level.

Hen You Qian, a spokesman from the Ministry of Corruption Reduction And Prevention (MinCRAP), reiterated that obtaining sexual favours is the best proof that public servants are no longer moved by money anymore.

Hen said: “High salaries for public servants has worked and will continue to work to retain talent and prevent rampant monetary corruption.”

He added: “Sexual corruption, when it happens, is then a rare, once-in-50-years event.”

Shrugged off as a freak occurrence, the ex-SCDF commissioner was in court yesterday to face multiple charges of obtaining sexual gratification from three women in exchange for business deals.

While paid a lot of money every month to remain upright only in terms of principles, Lim managed to do so in other ways that did not pertain to principles.

Between May 2010 and November 2011, he had sexy times with three different women at different times at secluded car parks, in an apartment and even in France.

Clamp down on sexual corruption

But it now appears that obtaining illicit sexy times is going to be tougher in the future.

To demonstrate it is keen on cracking down on sexual corruption, the government is working closely with MinCRAP.

An elite Anti-Sex Squad (ASS) has been assembled to do inspections of all car parks in secluded areas to suss out any potential infringements.

Starting this weekend, any public servant caught in a car park without a valid reason will be immediately taken into custody and brought to Sim Lim Tower.

They will then have to take out their personal exercise book, which will be issued to all public servants in a few days’ time to be carried around during and after office hours, and made to copy the lines seen on the Sim Lim Tower billboard 500 times.

Sim Lim Tower

This will be done while kneeling down.

Anyone not from the public service but caught by ASS will be prevented from becoming a public servant in the future. This is to weed out potential wrongdoers.

They will then be issued an exercise book and made to copy the Sim Lim Tower lines 300 times.

The public-at-large is also counted on to do their part.

Public servants fingered by the public will be subsequently probed by the authorities.

Other measures MinCRAP is exploring include preventing public servants from going to France and chemical castration.