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Realisation that IKEA’s Shelf Help Guru might be gay sends shock waves across conservative religious community in S’pore

Realisation that IKEA’s Shelf Help Guru might be gay sends shock waves across conservative religious community in S’pore

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They have turned around to accuse IKEA of infiltrating their religious community using clandestine means.

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Shock waves are emanating across Singapore’s conservative religious community after they discovered that IKEA’s Shelf Help Guru might actually be gay.

This after it was revealed that IKEA had uncharacteristically pledged support to an upcoming July performance by a local gay-bashing magician, which left the LGBT community in Singapore initially shocked and up in arms.

However, it now appears that the shoe is on the other foot as the conservative religious community have turned around to accuse IKEA Singapore of employing clandestine means to infiltrate their community by not declaring upfront that the Shelf Help Guru might be a gay man.

One local member of the conservative religious community, Xing Ye Shu, said this revelation has left his entire life in disarray: “Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that a furniture company would employ a gay person to openly hawk their wares.”

“As I have been buying IKEA furniture and eating their meatballs with brown mystery sauce all my life, therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

At press time, it is expected that the local gay-bashing magician will soon come out to denounce IKEA furniture and meatballs.

 

In a previous crisis in Singapore:

Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users