Tag Archive | "SBS"

S’poreans react to Jalan Besar GRC candidate Yaacob Ibrahim greeting commuters on SBS bus

S’poreans react to Jalan Besar GRC candidate Yaacob Ibrahim greeting commuters on SBS bus

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

yaacob-ibrahim-sbs-bus

PAP Jalan Besar GRC candidate Yaacob Ibrahim greeted commuters on SBS bus service 140 as it looped the Kallang Bahru area.

This is part of his General Election 2015 campaign.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “He taking public transport is a once every 50 years event.”
Zhuo Ba Shi, 42-year-old tire seller

 

sian-half-uncle “I guess he is signalling he wants to be the next transport minister.”
Tui Xiu, 62-year-old retiree

 

happy-bird-girl “Buses in the morning are already crowded enough without an extra person taking up precious space.”
Leow Wee, 17-year-old student

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











SBS Transit, SMRT happen to submit applications to raise fares at the same time

SBS Transit, SMRT happen to submit applications to raise fares at the same time

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Total coincidence, both transport operators swear.

SBS-raise-fare

The two major public bus transport operators in Singapore are swearing that it is pure coincidence that they happen to both submit applications to raise fares at the same time.

This after both transport operators are both applying to raise fares at the same time.

Da Ba Shi, a Singaporean who can only afford taking public transport, said: “I totally believe they are not in cahoots with each other. This is not the workings of a cartel or monopoly but a chance occurrence due to coincidence.”

“The free market produces such miracles sometimes, right?”

The authorities have also confirmed that the transport operators work independently of each other and do not fix prices together.

A transport authority spokesperson, Bu Pian Yi, said: “It is all luck. Just so happens to be like that.”

“Nothing to see here. Move along now.”

Future prime minister spotted on MRT

Future prime minister spotted on MRT

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And no, Chen Show Mao-spotting is not a marketing ploy to up ridership numbers.

The cattle-class public transport system of Singapore is getting an unlikely boost having come under intense fire recently.

The future prime minister of Singapore, Chen Show Mao, was spotted by a hawk-eyed commuter recently who noticed the bespectacled hipster member-of-parliament minding his own business while riding on the North East Line.

Chen Show Mao on the North East Line. Photo from Wing Shun Kong's Facebook.

With overcrowded buses the norm and commuters having to put up with an MRT system that increasingly suffers from PMS in recent times, Chen Show Mao’s presence was a reassurance to many everyday commuters that everything is going to be alright.

“If it is good enough for Singapore’s future leader, it is good enough for you and me, the proletariat,” said Tah Dee Tieh, a 36-year-old heavily pregnant woman who is carrying triplets.

Others have even gone so far as to pledge to sell their wheels having seen the future prime minister take the train.

“I am inspired to sell my car and rely on SBS and SMRT from now on,” said a retrenched PMET, Meh You Qian.

An employee from one of Singapore’s train operators who refused to be named, said getting Chen Show Mao to publicly endorse taking public transport was initially proposed as a way to win back the trust of commuters after a spate of embarrassing breakdowns all over the island this year.

However, that was unnecessary as Chen Show Mao really does take public transport everyday anyways.

And his popularity among Singaporean women and hipsters meant that there will always be many out there who will secretly take photos of him and post them on Facebook ensuring constant free publicity for train operators.

The anonymous employee explained: “If you noticed, Chen Show Mao is always photographed by his stalkers sitting down while taking the train and the place is not very crowded? This portrays a very good image of our train system, which in fact, is always overcrowded all the time.”

“Furthermore, Chen Show Mao is also a picture of serenity whenever the trains work or break down,” the anonymous source also said.

There is always a seat for him and he is always happy even when the trains go tits up

Reader writes: Public buses are great!

Reader writes: Public buses are great!

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And why you shouldn’t mind the trains breaking down all the time.

Dear New Nation editors,

Two days ago, as Singapore’s MRT system went down again with the same frequency as Man United’s Nani, I watched with interest at the way stranded commuters were ferried from one destination to another in back-up shuttle buses.

I must say, everything was conducted in an orderly fashion that is beftting of our First World status.

That is why I do not understand how come there is so much fuss with trains breaking down.

Look, every time trains break down, commuters actually get to ride on an alternative form of transport for free. How is that not a good deal?

So, instead of hoping that the trains work like clockwork, shouldn’t people be praying for it to malfunction?

Because from having to pay to not having to pay, it’s a steal.

Moreover, riding buses has its plus points. You can get to sit down and relax.

Even if you don’t, it’s still ok.

Why? Because the bus is very big, it is very spacious. People can stand anywhere they like as I always notice there is empty areas towards the back of the bus.

This just shows that there is no need for people to move in as buses are big enough.

Plus, taking buses is also so much better as all commuters need to do is to put their lives into the hands of a bus driver, who barely makes $1,300 a month.

They can then proceed to molest their smartphones with nary a care in the world.

Moreover, commuters on a bus get to see the wonderful scenery outdoors – if it is not obscured by other people’s bums or torsos, for example.

I also heard that buses these days are very convenient. People, if they really have to, can take a bus to anywhere they like because the routes are well-connected.

It is worth it – if you don’t mind taking more than an hour just to get anywhere on average.

One other reason is because bus fares can be very cheap – if you simply go according to distance.

Since that’s the case, people should always aim not to go to places that are too far away for them.

If people know that they stay in Pasir Ris, they shouldn’t aim to enter university.

NTU and NUS are simply too far away to warrant going to school for four years and making it all worthwhile for a sheet of paper that is getting more and more undervalued as cheaper and more employable immigrants flood our local market.

Therefore, Pasir Ris people shouldn’t bother getting a degree at all. They should just go to work at Downtown East, which is nearer.

Likewise, people in Jurong should never contemplate going overseas. The airport is simply too far.

West side people should always just remain in Singapore.

Or go to Johor Bahru.

It is needless to say that everyone should sort out their entire life plans based on distance of travel and, therefore, this should solve all transport woes.

Once people stop travelling so far, they wouldn’t need to gripe about the state of public transport.

Therefore, of course, everyone should aim to own a car.

Only then, will you get very far.

Yours sincerely,
A Proud Car Owner

Teenagers jubilant at planned increase in buses

Teenagers jubilant at planned increase in buses

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Thank you for more spaces to make out in, they say.

The Government of Singapore is unleashing up to 800 public buses over the next five years to deal with the increasing population and demand for public transportation.

This news was part of the Budget 2012 unveiled last week and already students are rejoicing over the prospect of having more spaces to make out in.

Kenny, a 16-year-old secondary two student, said making out on air conditioned buses beats the experience of doing so at void decks or lift landings.

“Some times quite hot, afternoon”, he said as he ate his girlfriend’s face.

A straw poll with 500 students revealed that SBS number 10 is one of the most popular make out venues on wheels.

The bus starts its journey at the Kent Ridge terminal in the National University of Singapore and completes its two-hour route at Tampines interchange.

“It’s a great service because it tends to get quite empty around 3 p.m. and I get to second base at least,” said Lisa P., who has a 15-year-old girlfriend.

The 14-year-old added: “On at least two occasions I managed up to third base.”

However, some teenagers expressed concerns that the impending fare increase when new buses are added to the fleet will limit the number of times they ride the buses and their partners.

“I guess it’s about picking strategically the longer rides during the emptier parts of the day,” said one student who declined to be named but is proud to mention that he is dating a lingerie blogshop model from the western part of Singapore.

Another concern that students pointed out is the prevalance of voyeurs known as “Stompers”, who take photos of couples getting intimate and putting them online.

One student, who only wants to be known as The Serpentine, said: “And you thought students making out are desperate. These Stompers who take photos and think they are vigilantes are even more desperate. Nincompoops, I tell you.”

And at least one other student pointed out that make out plans are at times disrupted by bus enthusiasts who take long bus rides alone or in groups as a hobby.

Kenny said: “These bus enthusiasts like to ride on buses and take photos of the inside of buses and act damn high, like aroused like that.

“Damn disgusting man,” he said as he continued to eat his girlfriend’s face.