Tag Archive | "pimp"

S’pore Flyer refurbished to rotate faster to blow haze away

S’pore Flyer refurbished to rotate faster to blow haze away

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Bankrupted wheel could use a little spin.

singapore-flyer-blow-haze

The Singapore Failure Flyer, a bankrupted giant wheel symbolising inane financial failure, will be given a new lease of life.

Formerly known to bore visitors to death — as one single revolution takes approximately one ice age to complete — the giant wheel is going to be resuscitated and sped up to blow the haze away.

Currently, Singapore is experiencing fogged up conditions this past week, as our friendly ally, Indonesia, is thinking they are doing us a favour by helping to smoke us and maybe close down schools and prevent people from going to work.

Engineers working on this project to convert the wheel from a tourist attraction to a massive fan said they will build an enormous coal-powered motor to generate power to turn the gears of the fan, so it spins fast.

A spokesperson from the Ministry of Leisure, Entertainment, Sightseeing Tourism (MOLEST), Fei Li Ah, said: “Singapore is always known for improving productivity. Basically, the Singapore Flyer can be imagined to have undergone a skills upgrade. From serving tourists to performing massive blow jobs.”

The spokesperson also reassured the public-at-large that the smoke produced by the coal-powered motor will not defeat the purpose of using the Singapore Flyer to dispel the haze.

“Basically, the smoke and pollutants from burning the coal to produce energy to spin the wheel will be ventilated such that it is blown away together with the haze.”

“The haze and the smoke will all be directed towards Malaysia. Anyway, their PSI level can go up to about 500, so no big difference for them,” the spokesperson said.

 

 

 

 

 











Pimp my S’pore Flyer: Wheel will be refurbished to rotate faster to blow haze away

Pimp my S’pore Flyer: Wheel will be refurbished to rotate faster to blow haze away

Tags: , , , ,


Bankrupted wheel could use a little spin.

singapore-flyer-blow-haze

The Singapore Failure Flyer, a bankrupted giant wheel symbolising inane financial failure, will be given a new lease of life.

Formerly known to bore visitors to death — as one single revolution takes approximately one ice age to complete — the giant wheel is going to be resuscitated and sped up to blow the haze away.

Currently, Singapore is experiencing fogged up conditions this past week, as our friendly ally, Indonesia, is thinking they are doing us a favour by helping to smoke us and maybe close down schools and prevent people from going to work.

Engineers working on this project to convert the wheel from a tourist attraction to a massive fan said they will build an enormous coal-powered motor to generate power to turn the gears of the fan, so it spins fast.

A spokesperson from the Ministry of Leisure, Entertainment, Sightseeing Tourism (MOLEST), Fei Li Ah, said: “Singapore is always known for improving productivity. Basically, the Singapore Flyer can be imagined to have undergone a skills upgrade. From serving tourists to performing massive blow jobs.”

The spokesperson also reassured the public-at-large that the smoke produced by the coal-powered motor will not defeat the purpose of using the Singapore Flyer to dispel the haze.

“Basically, the smoke and pollutants from burning the coal to produce energy to spin the wheel will be ventilated such that it is blown away together with the haze.”

“The haze and the smoke will all be directed towards Malaysia. Anyway, their PSI level can go up to about 500, so no big difference for them,” the spokesperson said.

 

 

 

 

 











State media shames French guy even though he was the victim of assault because he hired a prostitute

State media shames French guy even though he was the victim of assault because he hired a prostitute

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What.

So in The Straits Times today…

State media shames French guy by putting his pic, full name, age, occupation and place of residence in the newspaper even though he was the victim of assault after he gets beaten up by a prostitute he hired and by her brother — who was the pimp — and by a group of their friends.

All over a misunderstanding as he initally thought the prostitute provided anal sex when she didn’t.

prostitute-assaults-french-guy

 
 
 

dafuq-did-i-just-read-meme