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NUS students have 1 free week to organise own orgies outside campus after Orientation Week cancelled

NUS students have 1 free week to organise own orgies outside campus after Orientation Week cancelled

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Now they have no choice but to come up with their own debauchery.

orientation-muah-chee

National University of Singapore students from all walks of life, who like to make loud noises and do things that involve friction, are shaking their heads and expressing their deep disappointment as they now have to pull together a plan in short notice.

This after the Orientation Week scheduled to take place next week has been cancelled by the school’s authorities following news that NUS students have been having too much fun at the expense of the university’s reputation.

One NUS student, Lai Zuo Ai, said she is aghast that she now has one free week ahead and needs to plan something that is beyond the university’s purview: “One week of nothingness and several thousand young adults ready to have a go. I wonder what we can do now instead of playing pre-approved games on campus in public?”

“I guess we have no choice but to take things outside of campus, away to a private place, far from prying eyes, completely unsupervised.”

“It is easy to pull a few thousand dollars to rent a venue with so many of us around.”

Other NUS students said succumbing to ennui would only cause them to approach other avenues.

Lim Seow, another tertiary student, said: “There’s a reason why it is called ‘succumb’.”

However, many other NUS students said positive things can still come out of this episode, such as helping the local media regain some of its lustre.

See Kiao Keow, another student, said: “We would forward photographic and video evidence of our off-campus activities to The New Paper to help improve their viewership numbers since they are in a sunset industry.”

“And after our one week of respite, we will team bond by doing some research and prepare the obituaries of our favourite mainstream media reporters.”

“Now that we have one free week to do whatever we want, I hope the public is pleased with itself.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision

Former MM Lee Kuan Yew: The Singapore vision is your vision, not my vision

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You know guys, The Old Man really just wants to retire. Cut him some slack.

By Fang Shihan

He came, he croaked and he curtly rasped his way around questions from all directions. Not that you would expect anything less from Former Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew, who was at the receiving end of the Q&A session organized by the Lee Kuan Yew School of public policy on Wednesday.

The grandfather of Singapore stands tall at 88 years old this year and is clearly still very influential as an international thinker – but reluctantly so.

This was Lee just three years ago with Fareed Zakaria:

A far cry from the disengaged grandaddy that he personified during the Q&A when answers were filled with awkward silences as moderator Kishore Mahbubani struggled to figure out if he’d actually finished his answer.

Arriving onstage with a bandage on his middle finger (we figure he cut  himself while giving the finger to hordes of mangy journalists. Just because he’s badass), wearing office socks paired with a pair of Nike Free running shoes, The Old Man, as he’s fondly known, candidly batted off questions he thought were irrelevant and gave his honest disclaimer about issues he felt he wouldn’t be an expert on.

“If he’s from Sri Lanka then he’ll know more about Sri Lanka than I do,” he replied to a person who wrote in asking about the post-conflict country.

Still, the questions on international relations kept coming, and the fortune cookie insights from the oracle who transformed a tiny rock to a metropolitan city, continued to wow the audience and created headlines.

Not that he appreciated it. At one point, it almost felt like he became increasingly exasperated with the adulation – or maybe it was a case of same set of shitty questions on a different day.

He did however, confidently say that he was an expert on Singapore issues. And this is where New Nation comes in.

We asked him if his public appearances during the general elections affected PM Lee’s chances of winning. To which he chuckled:

wHy dO YoU ALL tHiNk I hAvE aLL tHe AnsWeRs???

“I did not appear so often anyway. I have stood down and I don’t know who gave you the impression I appeared so frequently. I have stood down and I am off the press as a focus of attention, and off the electronic media.”

Now the written word doesn’t do him justice. He might sound pompous or even scathing in the reply but in reality, Big Scary former MM Lee Kuan Yew was just one “Girl ar…” short of sounding like any other 88 year old grandfather.

A grandfather that has seen a country from its squalid post-war beginnings to its current cosmopolitan state. Oh and a grandfather that single-handedly destroyed Singapore’s opposition prior to independence.

“Conditions change,” he says. “After long period of quiet, confident rule, a generation that grows up in a period of affluence believes that we have arrived. And as the saying goes, a first world parliament must have a first world opposition. So the restlessness. whether that leads to better governance we have to wait and see.”

So the old man still has problems with a non-one party state, saying that Singapore does not have the critical mass to produce two A-grade political teams.

But grumble as he may – and with that growl of a voice, amplified by the microphone close to his throat it certainly sounded unhappy – he made it clear that his time is over and that Singapore is in the hands of the next generation.

He says, “The vision has to be your vision, not my vision. I’ve lived my life, I’m 88. I’m strolling into the sunset, maybe I’ll stumble towards the end. But you have to have a vision of the kind of Singapore you want and you got to crystallize that and get your leaders to adopt your vision.”

Paraphrased: “I’m done with this shit. It’s your problem now. Let me retire in peace.”

So cut him some slack guys.

Dead man identified as founding Reform Party member

Dead man identified as founding Reform Party member

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Once sued by Lee Kuan Yew for defamation, Quek Teow Chuan was said to have paid damages of either $200,000 or $400,000. His body was unclaimed.

By Belmont Lay

A 76-year-old man who passed away on April 8 at a Jamiyah welfare home without any kin to claim his body has been identified as a former General Election candidate and a founding member of the Reform Party who at one time also belonged to the party’s Central Executive Committee.

His portrait was featured on the front page of The Straits Times Home section on May 30 in a news story about the elderly dying alone. He was not identified as a politician by the paper.

The Singapore Police Force has also released an appeal for information on him and his next-of-kin.

Quek Teow Chuan contested in the 1984 General Election in Nee Soon under the Singapore United Front against People’s Action Party’s Koh Lip Lin, a former Dean of Science at the National University of Singapore from 1981 to 1985 .

Quek received 25.8% or 6,401 of the valid votes in what was to be his one and only electoral contest.

After his electoral defeat, Quek was sued by then-prime minister Lee Kuan Yew for defamation for giving a speech at the SUF rally in Jalan Lengkok in Sembawang on Dec 19, 1984 implying that the prime minister was corrupt.

It is unclear what the exact damages awarded to Lee were but it has been reported to be either $200,000 or $400,000.

At that time, Quek denied he had said anything that implied that Lee was corrupt and rejected an offer of settlement for damages.

Quek was reportedly to have suggested the shortening of National Service commitments and the scraping of the MRT system during his campaign.

 

The Straits Times article about people who died alone. Quek Teow Chuan was not identified by the paper as a founding RP member.