Tag Archive | "morning wood"

S’poreans fulfill lifelong dream of going to JEM

S’poreans fulfill lifelong dream of going to JEM

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Some started queuing up as early as 530 a.m.


Thousands of Singaporeans from all walks of life and with varying mental abilities fulfilled their lifelong dream of going to JEM, the shopping mall in Jurong that had its opening delayed because some slacker forgot to file fire safety documents.

Some went as early as 530 a.m. on Saturday to get in line to await their virgin time to go in.

When the doors were officially open at 730 a.m., soft but audible pleasurable moans escaped the lips of those shoppers who went in.

One of the shoppers, Buay Min Kia, who was breathing heavily, said orgasmically: “Yah, I queued up here at 530 a.m., so I can go to Watsons.”

This sentiment of visiting a mall so early on a weekend when the shoppers could have been sleeping in or attending to their morning wood was shared by others.

Kee Sho Ping, a local who has a few aspirations, said: “It has been my desire to visit Marks & Spencer. My life would be empty otherwise.”

Residents of Jurong, though, is seeking the understanding of the greater public-at-large to not judge them too quickly and prematurely.

Wa Jin Sian, a Jurong resident, said: “It’s not that people in Jurong are deprived. This is the most exciting, arousing thing that has happened to us since GE2011.”