Tag Archive | "melancholy"

PSLE top scorers feeling depressed, S’poreans hypocritical

PSLE top scorers feeling depressed, S’poreans hypocritical

Tags: ,

Lack of publicity and recognition for academic achievement making some self-destructive.

Identity of PSLE top scorers are kept under wraps this year, even though Singaporeans like to compete with each other over more trivial matters.

Wu Tuck Cheh (not his real name) is a bright 12-year-old boy from a top primary school.

In fact, “bright” doesn’t even describe him properly.

He is a genius. A savant. Possibly, Singapore’s next prime minister.

However, behind his cherubic face lies a pair of deadened eyes.

Tuck Cheh, you see, is one of the top scorers for this year’s PSLE. Results were out since yesterday, but it was all hush-hush.

Because due to a change in education policy, he cannot be named and readily identified unlike previous years, and all publicity to celebrate his scholastic mind and top score of XXX is withheld from the media.

Tuck Cheh, accompanied by his father, mother and the entire extended family of grandparents, aunties and cousins, told New Nation: “As soon as I knew I was the top scorer with XXX points, I went out to grab myself vodka and heroin.”

He continued: “Because the education ministry deems it unfashionable to talk about grades these days, my genius will not be celebrated. I might as well drown my sorrow. While I am still alive.”

In the 24 hours since PSLE results were out, Xiao Ming has gone from alcoholism to hard drugs addiction and is now contemplating suicide.

Besides contributing to self-destruction, many parents of top scorers that New Nation spoke to said avoiding publicising good grades is, in fact, hypocritical.

One parent said: “A lot of you wishy washy communist-types believe that levelling the playing field for broadening equality will do everyone good. Secretly, deep down inside, everyone is always trying to compete to see who has more Facebook Likes on their statues, who goes on more holidays and who buys more branded stuff, who makes more money…”

“Saying we shouldn’t compete for grades makes Singaporeans deep down inside a bunch of hypocrites.”

Editor’s note: Some readers have commented asking exactly who Xiao Ming is in the article. New Nation would like to clarify that he is Tuck Cheh, as his depressive mood is contributing to his split personality but this point was not made clear initially.