Tag Archive | "LionsXII"

S’pore football fans brace themselves as LionsXII’s Malaysia FA Cup win signals regression to the mean soon

S’pore football fans brace themselves as LionsXII’s Malaysia FA Cup win signals regression to the mean soon

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Celebrations tempered by expectations of Singapore football’s future.

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Singapore football fans from all walks of life who always like to think Singapore football is really going to turn the corner this time round, have suddenly been reminded of the statistical phenomenon known as “regression to the mean”, mere hours after the LionsXII’s historic Malaysia FA Cup 2015 win.

This after local fans meticulously charted the fortunes of Singapore football and duly noted via thorough statistical analysis based on data mined from the past 30 years to separate the signal from the noise that any footballing success the Republic enjoyed will be eclipsed by extended periods of non-success.

One Singaporean football fan, Kee Tak Kiu, said: “We all kind of know how things often turn out. We’d think Singapore football has really turned the corner with one major win or after some successful streak and we’re going to be on our way up.”

“But it is always the case that all success is temporary and local football will fall into the doldrums yet again as the success is difficult to sustain.”

“LionsXII winning the Malaysia FA Cup will probably help the euphoria last for three weeks, after which it is the grim reality of keeping the local footballing scene from grinding along again.”

“This is then followed by a lot of soul-searching from a lot of quarters, usually by September or October this year, involving the Football Association of Singapore (FAS) and Sport Singapore, a statutory board of the Ministry of Culture, Community and Youth, questioning why professional football here is not progressing after suffering a few setbacks.”

“And the talk will go back to the beleaguered S.League, where funding issues will once again rear its ugly head and where clubs will merge or collapse and the next season shortened or abandoned.”

At press time, the foreseeable future of Singapore football will encompass the SEA Games 2015 to be held in June, after which, the only certainty football fans in Singapore have is that there will be none.


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S’poreans only care that Fandi is LionsXII coach

S’poreans only care that Fandi is LionsXII coach

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They don’t really care even if the team finishes last in Malaysian Super League.


Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying levels of athletic ability are rejoicing.

This after Fandi Ahmad has been named the new coach of the LionsXII.

A local sports fan, Kwa Tak Kiew, said appointing Fandi as coach is as right as putting “Scarlett Johansson” and “naked” together in the same sentence: “To know that Fandi is the coach is all that Singaporeans need to know. He can not win anything, or even finish last in the league, it will also be fine.”

Another football fan, Zhen Tian Zhen, said LionsXII winning any games in the Malaysian Super League next season is an additional blessing: “The point is that Singaporeans just want Fandi to be coach and they are happy to see him there forever. If Fandi cannot deliver, then so be it.”

“This is much better than putting a foreigner at the helm and wining trophies because Singaporeans wouldn’t even feel good about any victories acquired in this manner.”

“It is better to do worse with a local than do well with foreigners.”

July 2 to become public holiday, after LionsXII title win that day

July 2 to become public holiday, after LionsXII title win that day

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FAS will honour all Singaporeans for being united without Tony Tan’s help.


The Singapore Football Association is looking to honour the LionsXII’s historic win with a celebration that will involve “all Singaporeans”.

The FAS President, Zainudin Nordin said the historic Malaysian Super League title win is due to Singaporeans being united: “The fans have been fantastic and we want to reward the fans together with our players.”

And this was achieved despite Tony Tan not being involved, although he explicitly said he would unite Singaporeans when he campaigned for presidency in 2011.

The rumour mills have been grinding at full steam with unnamed sources saying July 2 will be scheduled as an annual public holiday, as the LionsXII won the title on that day.

However, not all fans will be satisfied.

Boh Zho Peng, a local soccer fan, said: “How to honour the local soccer fans? Maybe Zainudin Nordin can complete his National Service first.”

PM Lee single-handedly wins Malaysian Super League

PM Lee single-handedly wins Malaysian Super League

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His presence orchestrated a 4-0 romp of opponents.


Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong single-handedly orchestrated the LionsXII’s Malaysian Super League win last night.

And the win has been hailed by many across the land who gave credit to the prime minister for taking time off his busy schedule to go watch people kick a ball around when he could be tending to the economy.

Kwa Tak Kew, a PAP supporter, said: “PM Lee has always been the 12th man in the team. The LionsXII was effectively named after him.”

Moreover, PM Lee’s dynamic presence had a hold on the game.

Jin Sat Ki, a soccer fan who also wears white, said: “PM Lee is so powerful his mere presence caused the opponent to score an own goal.”

Another PAP supporter said the Singapore soccer team did well and deserves credit.

Poh Lan Pah, a status quo-maintaining fellow, said: “This 4-0 decisive victory is due to PM Lee’s attendance. Singapore wouldn’t have won otherwise.”

V. Sundramoorthy in the running for Presidential Election 2017

V. Sundramoorthy in the running for Presidential Election 2017

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This after his LionsXII unite Singaporeans, romp to first-ever Malaysian Super League crown.


V. Sundramoorthy, the head coach of Singapore’s LionsXII soccer team, is in the running for the Presidential Election 2017.

He has been nominated by Singaporeans.

This after his side hammered Felda United 4-0 tonight to win the first-ever Malaysian Super League crown in front of a capacity crowd at the Jalan Besar Stadium.

His side’s antics has not only won the support of Singaporeans, but has gotten many of them saying they feel united like never before.

This is something which Tony Tan promised to do during his presidential election campaign in 2011, but has since failed to deliver as he only cooks bryani and go to Brunei.

Singaporeans from all walks of life upon hearing that Singapore has been crowned soccer champions, hailed V. Sundramoorthy as the new president of Singapore come 2017.

Zhuo Zong Tong, a Singaporean, said: “V. Sundramoorthy has done more to unite Singaporeans in this one evening than Tony Tan did the past two years as president.”

Singapore football debauchery?

Singapore football debauchery?

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Nope, sorry, but the Singapore team is doing pretty well for a bunch of people who drink and smoke.

By New Nation Sports Guru

Singapore CubsXII. Meow.

It has been made public by LionsXII assistant coach Kadir Yahaya that there is a drinking and smoking culture in Singapore football.

As with all things that involve morals, many people with an upright disposition will say that sports, alcohol and cigarettes don’t mix.

But to others who don’t bother to take this upright course – because upright usually means boring and dull, they would say: Well, at least sports, alcohol and cigarettes should not mix at the same time.

Because doing sports, alcohol and cigarettes all at the same time would in fact be called “clubbing”.

But, I mean, is this even considered news?

Many people, with judgemental tendencies, automatically assume that this is a sign that something is wrong with the sporting culture of our nation if sportsmen drink and smoke.

For me, I’ll defend our national team and say to critics, “Get lost”.

Drinking and smoking is what real men do.

In fact, drinking and smoking is what differentiates humans from animals.

Go on, name me a squirrel who smokes?

And I dare you, name me a fish that drinks vodka or bourbon?

Because only through drinking and smoking can real men feel like they have aged properly.

But let’s not argue over ideas.

Let’s talk pure statistics.

Look at the LionsXII’s results in the Malaysia super league: They have so far won two games, lost twice and drawn two others. And they have scored a grand total of 5 goals in six matches and this is a testimony of their unbreakable spirit and smokers’ lungs and drinkers’ liver.

And who did the Singapore team actually managed to beat?

Sabah and Kuala Lumpur.

Two teams who have players who go to bed at 9 p.m. and who eat their vegetables and whose only encounter with alcohol is in cologne.

Therefore, for smokers and drinkers, scoring five goals is already six goals too many.

But there is a much larger discussion that needs to be addressed.

And that is: Football doesn’t add to our country’s economy.

Eleven grown men from one team chasing a ball for 90 minutes against 11 grown men from another team is nothing different from 22 grown men chasing each other to give each other wedgies.

Both activities are just as pointless, sweaty and tiring.

But don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to boo boo soccer per se.

I believe soccer is as pointless as swimming where the main aim is to hold one’s breath and try to go forward while moving one’s arms and legs to see who can go faster until you touch the wall again.

How should this be considered an achievement in life? Let alone an achievement for our human race? And seriously, when I say “human race”, pardon the pun.

Come on, do you seriously see chickens trying to swim faster than one another just so the winner gets to collect a trophy?

Or do you see chipmunks getting wet to be triumphant aquatically?

If animals are not so pointless, why are we?

A greater achievement in life, I believe, is developing the ability to actually breathe underwater naturally.

At that instant, it can be assured that mankind has broken the plateau of our evolutionary heritage and broached new ground with growing something called “gills”.

That would then be considered exciting times.

And news worthy.