Tag Archive | "Lim Swee Say"

S’poreans react to Lim Swee Say saying he’s grateful he’s not M’sian now

S’poreans react to Lim Swee Say saying he’s grateful he’s not M’sian now

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

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PAP East Coast GRC candidate Lim Swee Say said in Mandarin during his rally on Thursday night, Sept. 3, 2015, that he is grateful Singapore separated from Malaysia in 1965, or else we would still be Malaysian.

He also said before this statement that he is grateful that his father had taken a boat from China to Singapore, or else, he might be a Chinese citizen.

On both occasions, he said “Heng ah…”

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “His father should have stayed in China.”
Hui Jia Xiang, 44-year-old hydroponics farmer

 

sian-half-uncle “I don’t see how Lim Swee Say is a Singaporean benefits me as a Singaporean.”
Ben Di Ren, 62-year-old rag-and-bone man

 

happy-bird-girl “I wish I could also say ‘Heng ah’, but I realise PAP is still going to form the next government.”
Mei Qian Tu, 17-year-old barista

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 











Lim Swee Say to release self-help book for S’poreans

Lim Swee Say to release self-help book for S’poreans

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But first, Singaporeans must learn to help themselves before the minister can help them.

By David Tan

Photo stolen from here

Photo stolen from here

Lim Swee Say, Singapore’s Labour Chief, who is a minister without portfoilo, will be releasing a new self-help book, a first of its kind in Singapore.

The book aims to better help Singaporeans cope with the realities of life in 21st century Singapore, once Singaporeans help themselves first.

It will be titled “Lim Swee Says” and will contain helpful bite-sized vignettes distilled from the minister’s own personal life and his many years in office.

This announcement was made today where the minister delighted reporters with choice nuggets of wisdom from his upcoming book.

Lim said: “Instead of thinking about whether you can spend your savings in the CPF at the age of 55,” he said to an enraptured audience, “I think we should think about how we can help our Singaporeans defer the use of the CPF — this will mean that they will have more for retirement.”

While the new book will boast pages of original sage advice, some of Lim’s older material will be featured as well.

These include musings such as:

“If you’re the best today, strive to be better. If you’re better today, strive to be ‘betterer’ and if you’re ‘betterer’ today, strive to be ‘betterest’ so that over time, Singapore’s service standards can just keep getting better, ‘betterer’ and ‘betterest’”

Already, public anticipation is high ahead of the book’s imminent release.

CAPT (NS) Oh Wee Yers, a self-professed expert in self-help literature, said: “I think the book is a good reminder of the government’s commitment to enabling Singaporeans to help themselves instead of providing direct help like a welfare state.”

He later added: “It is clear that not having a ministerial portfolio for all these years must have left Lim with plenty of time to achieve such a state of enlightenment. If only more Singaporeans could be like Lim, maybe there would be fewer complaints about the CPF.”

Din Tai Fung bracing its restaurants for toothpick thievery

Din Tai Fung bracing its restaurants for toothpick thievery

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This after labour chief Lim Swee Say admitted to stealing half of their toothpicks.

lim-swee-say-toothpick

Din Tai Fung, the Chinese eatery that is actually better than Tim Ho Wan, is bracing all its restaurants for a spate of thefts.

This after labour chief Lim Swee Say publicly admitted to being a cheapskate toothpick pickpocket — despite making millions a year as he is tasked to upturn the downturn.

Swee Say reportedly told reporters at a talk on Monday to praise success, stroke some egos and xiao long baos: “And because I go there very early – 10.30 in the morning – always full right. And guess what? By the time I left, normally right, it’s half left. The other half is in my pocket.”

The labour chief’s action has prompted ordinary Singaporeans to want to one-up him.

Jin Yao Quee, a Singaporean, said: “I’m going to Ding Tai Fung and steal their table and bring one of their waitresses home.”

Lim Swee Say commits political faux pas

Lim Swee Say commits political faux pas

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Again.

So a bunch of dudes and dudettes were out at Orchard Road carrying some signs that read “If you’re happy and you know it honk” or something like that:
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And Lim Swee Say uploaded the pic he took from his car:
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…at a time when a lot of Singaporeans cannot even afford to buy a car…

More graduates to become road sweepers

More graduates to become road sweepers

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Under labour chief Lim Swee Say’s proposed plan.

Tried googling for Lim Swee Say. First image to pop up.

Tried googling for Lim Swee Say. First image to pop up.

Acquiring an education today will set you up for life as a road sweeper tomorrow, this according to a new plan under labour chief Lim Swee Say.

Swee Say is said to have said in a News 5 report that low wage jobs of today will be transformed into jobs of the future.

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An undergrad from NUS, who is completing a degree in economics, said: “I can’t wait to work that broom.”

He added: “But this plan will undoubtedly threaten Lee Hsien Loong’s job. His job is too high-paying, therefore, there will be no future.”