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Singapore must ban Lady Gaga

Singapore must ban Lady Gaga

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Dear Editors,

I am shocked, appalled and outraged that the authorities have let the succubus herself step onto our shores. As a god-fearing parent of two young, impressionable sons, I implore the government to stop Singapore from going to hell.

It was only yesterday that I found a ticket for a “Lady Gaga” concert tucked away in my son’s room in his closet. Thankfully, I keep his room spick and span and even arrange his underwear according to colour, otherwise I would never have known what he was keeping from his own mother.

What kind of name is “Lady Gaga” anyway? That’s the sound that babies make. Is she encouraging her fans to be infantile?

Upon some checking with my tech-savvy church friends, I learnt that she, was none other than the devil reborn. Don’t believe me? I’ll send you some of the pictures my friends printed from this website called Google.

Look at the horrifying skeletal face that witch has

Look at that horrifying snarl!

Lady Gaga cannot be allowed to spread her immoral, western values in her concert tonight. The very basis of our nation’s existence depends on it.

Just look at Indonesia. I fundamentally disagree with their Islamic, oppressive stance on women, but even they are taking a step in the right direction by banning the Gaga concert. They may have their lost their way by not acknowledging the Christian god as the Almighty, but in terms of protecting their children, they are miles ahead of us.

I am outraged that the Minister for Information, Communications and the Arts Yaacob Ibrahim is not doing anything to prevent our young from being corrupted by the evil propagated by Lady Gaga.

Because of his inaction, my son is now learning the dark art of cursing.

I once heard him singing her satanic verse “born this way” in the shower, right after we had a big argument about him stealing my makeup. I told him: “Son, boys cannot wear makeup or dresses. God made Man and Woman differently and that’s just the way things are”. Little did I know that he would storm off in rage.

My heart is broken, my son does not listen to me anymore. And as a god-fearing parent living in a nation run by Asian values and Asian traditions, I deplore you, the editors and readers of New Nation to do our part to prevent Singapore from going to hell.

I’m doing my best to save my son who will be attending the concert with his best friend Aaron, a nice young man that he goes to the Free Community Church with. It’s one of those new fashionable churches for young people, like City Harvest.

My boy boy has grown rebellious, but I hope that Aaron can knock some sense into him. Lipstick does not belong on boys, muscles do. And Aaron is a strapping young man. His cheeks are always very rosy, and complexion very smooth.

The devil has already stepped on our shores, but its not too late to stop her from propagating evil to innocent, unsuspecting children.

Yours truly,

Conservative Nazi