Tag Archive | "equality"

Society done with closing gender gap as The Economist hires first-ever female editor

Society done with closing gender gap as The Economist hires first-ever female editor

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People in society will go back to resting on their laurels as hire has been hailed as progress, gender equality.


Congratulating itself for reaching the pinnacle of its achievements, society by-and-large has given itself a pat on the back as it has been announced that The Economist, a magazine filled with summaries of things that have happened the past week or so and then publishing it like it is news, has appointed a woman as its next editor-in-chief.

Zanny Minton Beddoes (top, left), 47, a trained economist who has worked in the publication for the last 21 years, will be taking over the reins from John Micklethwait (top, right) to be the 17th editor-in-chief.

Paul Hornner, a member of society and subscriber to The Economist, said having a woman at the helm is a remarkable step forward for Man and History: “This is progress, if not, the end of trying, no doubt. I think society’s job is pretty much done here. What more is there to achieve?”

“This is the first time in The Economist‘s 172-year history that they hired a woman. All debts from the past have been settled. Man and Woman are now finally equal. We can go back to resting on our laurels now that this has come to pass.”

At press time, society noticed there might have been a glitch, as it has been discovered that true gender equality would only be achieved when a woman gets hired to be an editor and it doesn’t even make it into the news.


In other news from around the world involving corporations:

The Lego Movie wildly popular in S’pore as its totalitarian premise resonates with locals

Anti-Cruelty group petitions for the dog’s life for all animals

Anti-Cruelty group petitions for the dog’s life for all animals

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All for one, and one for all. And for all one. And for one all.


The recent case where a dog owner has been fined $5,000 for subjecting his dog to confinement in his balcony has ignited indignation amongst an animal group to lobby for greater animal equality.

The Anti-Suffering Society (ASS) has gathered the signatures of 3074.5 residents, petitioning for all animals to be given the same dog’s life.

Quoting the judge’s remarks that animals become “stressed when exposed to the elements for a long time, and that this was tantamount to cruelty“, an ASS spokesman listed the following examples of blatant cruelty:

– All animals at the Zoo – sun and rain exposure, did I just hear the lion roar and the elephant trumpet in stress?

– All animals at the Night Safari – sleep deprivation from the endless rumbling of trams for profit? Not cruelty, but torture!

– All birds at the Birdpark – have you ever heard the racket of the birds in the aviary? Sounds like stress!

– All fish at the RWS Aquarium – imagine how cold it is to be immersed in water 24 hours a day! And those annoying kids knocking on the glass. Stressful no doubt!

The spokesman also stressed that such discriminate hypocrisy has in fact gone on for more than 50 years – remember Snowball and Napoleon, who proclaimed: “All animals are equal but some animals are more equal than others” and “four legs good, two legs better”.

“It is surprising that mankind has tolerated such attitudes for so many years” the ASS spokesman said, “we should free all animals at the zoo, night safari, birdpark and aquarium now. And issue $5,000 fines to each guilty culprit!”