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S’pore facing 3-week “dry spell”, baby-making put on hold

S’pore facing 3-week “dry spell”, baby-making put on hold


No one’s getting moist with excitement.

By Yusuf Amit Sherchan
Reader contribution


For the first time in history, Singapore will be facing what many single men are familiar with — a “dry spell“.

Estimated to last two to three weeks, meteorologists say the abrupt unavailability of sexual intercourse is the result of a little known phenomenon called the Pre-Sexual Monsoon (PSM).

Vivian Balalalakisnan, Minister of Environment, elaborated with an exasperated sexless frown why Singaporeans “won’t be getting any” until the end of March: “The extreme heat of the last few weeks has inexplicably caused the rare synchronisation of all women’s menstrual cycles.”

Women can expect their periods to begin on February 29th and end on the 21st of March.

The fallout has been swift, with clubs like Butter Factory, Mink, and Fenix Room all posting notices of temporary closure on their Facebook pages.

“Sorry boys and girls, we will be re-opening in April. With the dry-spell, what’s the point of clubbing?”, read the notice on Fenix Room’s page.

Balalalakisnan also assuaged fears that Singapore will resort to ‘sex-rationing’.

“NParks will not be enforcing compulsory sex in parks during this period, because women will simply be unable and unwilling to participate during this dry spell,” he said.

The dry spell, however, will not affect up to 65% of men between 18 and 35.

Hen Ji Mo, 22, a self-declared World Of Warcraft and Clash of Clans fanatic, asked: “What is sex?”