Tag Archive | "DBS"

S’poreans urge SingTel, POSB, DBS to let religious leaders bless facilities

S’poreans urge SingTel, POSB, DBS to let religious leaders bless facilities

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Superstition is what drives our economy anyways, they say.


Singaporeans from all walks of life and religions (including Jedis) are requesting SingTel, POSB and DBS to allow religious leaders into their lives.

This after SingTel, POSB and DBS suffered embarrassing outages over the past week from unknown causes.

But which are most likely the work of the Devil.

This caused Singaporeans to request the same religious leaders who blessed the F1 night race track last month, to bless the affected facilities of the various companies.

Qu Bai Bai, a local, said Singapore’s prosperity has always been based on superstitions more than rationality, so there’s no harm getting divine help: “Increase population, economic growth will go up.”

“Hold F1, will invite foreign investments.”

“Build casino, will have trickle-down effect.”

“All these are all superstitions one. You think got causality one meh? Just let the religious leaders bless your facilities, will work also.”





POSB, DBS ATMs break down, not many customers affected

POSB, DBS ATMs break down, not many customers affected

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They have no savings to withdraw anyways.


The outage at many POSB and DBS ATMs island-wide today apparently has not affected that many customers.

This after many POSB and DBS customers told New Nation exclusively that withdrawals are not a problem — as they did not have savings to begin with.

Wa Boh Liu, a local said: “I have no money to withdraw also. Cost of living so high, where got savings?”

Others, however, took the opportunity of the outage to try their luck at withdrawing — hoping that the outage will cause a glitch that would allow cash to be dispensed even when they don’t even have money in their accounts.

Tee Kam, a Singaporean said: “I tried to withdraw money from a few POSB and DBS ATMs just to see if they can give me money. I no money already. Maybe now the service down got cock-up.”

It is unknown how long the outage was happening before it was discovered earlier today.

A lot Singaporeans don’t even have money in their bank accounts so they don’t really care.





DBS customers recount harrowing tales

DBS customers recount harrowing tales

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Forced cancellation of ATM cards by DBS causes havoc in people’s lives.

By Gong Jiao Wei

Photo credit: Yahoo!

The recent unprecedented mass cancellation of ATM cards by DBS has wreaked havoc on some people’s lives to the extent they are ruined.

The desperate measure of forcing an upgrade of ATM cards on existing cardholders was made without warning and after a series of unauthorised withdrawals the previous month threw the security of ATM transactions into the spotlight.

However, some DBS ATM cardholders are bearing the brunt of the bank’s badly planned and poorly executed security measure.

Lin Lao Peh, a 40-year-old unemployed semi-professional gambler, said he wanted to return loan sharks the remainder of his outstanding debt but was shocked to receive the SMS sent by DBS informing him that he could not use his ATM card on Feb 20.

Speaking in Hokkien and sobbing, Lin said: “As a result, I was unable to withdraw money to settle my outstanding debt and the 11 a.m. deadline passed. So I’m in arrears again. And as the Ah Long interest rate is 400 percent per day, now I am back to being $100,000 in debt again.

“And rolling in the deep. Deep shit, that is.”

Another unfortunate man, who refused to be identified, explained how he almost lost his job due to his ATM card cancellation.

“I was suffering from food poisoning, but nonetheless, took a cab to work to attend a morning meeting before wanting to call it a day. But while on the cab, the SMS came in saying I couldn’t use my ATM card.

“So, I had to beg the taxi driver to give me a few minutes to run to the office, even when I’m having loose stools, to borrow some cash from my colleagues but none of them were around.”

Explaining that he had to act on impulse, control his bowels and endure the driver’s menacing looks, he met with one unfortunate incident after another.

As all his colleagues were away from their desk at the meeting already, he decided to take some money from one colleague who sits besides him but who he offends on a daily basis.

The intention was to take her money to pay for the cab fare first and return it later hoping she wouldn’t notice.

However, halfway through doing that, his colleague came back from the washroom and assumed he was stealing from her as he was rummaging through her handbag.

“We had a massive bust-up where she beat me into a pulp. The beating was quite bad and my diarrhoea came out, unwittingly.”

His boss returned to the office at that moment and assumed he was playing a fool as he was lying on the floor and smelling foul with mysterious stains on his pants.

“I almost got fired from a job I held for 25 years. Imagine that,” he said, speaking from his hospital bed while his face twitched from bruises sustained during the office melee.

Another lady suffered the worst: Banishment from a high-class shop at one of the branded fashion outlets at the high-end part of Orchard Road.

This faux tai tai, Monica Chng, said: “I really took my own sweet time to buy the purse I wanted because I’ve never shopped in this kind of high-class place before.

“But I was really confident I could afford to pay because I had my DBS ATM card with me.”

At the point of purchase, though, her ATM card ceased functioning.

And her blood ran cold.

Having spent 45 minutes before that ordering the sales staff around and acting like she was the queen, the high-end retail shop staff turned the tables on her when they realised she couldn’t carry through with the transaction.

They gave her dirty looks, sneered at her as if she was broke and stared her out of the shop.

“I ran out crying,” Chng said.

Until today, none of those interviewed have received their replacement ATM cards yet.

Lin, said in Hokkien, bitterly: “Thanks to DBS, I’m leaving Singapore for good so the loan sharks will never find me.”

He added: “I mean, why couldn’t DBS send me a replacement card first before cutting off the old one? If they did that, I wouldn’t have to flee from my place of birth and the only country I ever knew, where I served National Service and where everything is clean and efficient and smart and well-organised except when it comes time to cancel ATM cards en masse.

“Broken vagina, you understand?”