Tag Archive | "blackout"

Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze to protect Bukit Panjang flats from future blackouts

Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze to protect Bukit Panjang flats from future blackouts

Tags: , ,


MRT trains have benefited from his watchful gaze.

lui-tuck-yew-blackout

Residents staying in blocks of Bukit Panjang flats that experienced a blackout on Tuesday night can be assured that such an event will not happen again.

This after it was announced that the affected flats will all be put under the purview of Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze, which has been credited with helping MRT breakdown prevention.

One government spokesperson, Bak Chew, said Minister Lui will oversee the flats personally for the time being as cardboard standees of him keeping watch round the clock will be rushed into production: “Our pilot testing previously of Minister Lui Tuck Yew’s standees putting MRT stations under his watchful gaze improved breakdown prevention.”

“His show of extreme concern has benefited the MRT system greatly and we hope to transplant this benefit to other domains.”

Over time, the plan will be to introduce the Minister Lui cardboard standee into every home, where the minister can put everything in the house under his watchful gaze, to improve their functionality.

At press time, it is believed this will help correct Singapore’s declining birth rate, reverse juvenile delinquency problems and also improve the PAP’s vote share at the next General Election.

 

 

 

 

 





Bukit Panjang blackout flats to be put under purview of Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze

Bukit Panjang blackout flats to be put under purview of Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze

Tags: , ,


Extreme concern shown by the minister will prevent such future events from happening again.

lui-tuck-yew-blackout

Residents staying in blocks of Bukit Panjang flats that experienced a blackout on Tuesday night can be assured that such an event will not happen again.

This after it was announced that the affected flats will all be put under the purview of Transport Minister Lui Tuck Yew’s watchful gaze, which has been credited with helping MRT breakdown prevention.

One government spokesperson, Bak Chew, said Minister Lui will oversee the flats personally for the time being as cardboard standees of him keeping watch round the clock will be rushed into production: “Our pilot testing previously of Minister Lui Tuck Yew’s standees putting MRT stations under his watchful gaze improved breakdown prevention.”

“His show of extreme concern has benefited the MRT system greatly and we hope to transplant this benefit to other domains.”

Over time, the plan will be to introduce the Minister Lui cardboard standee into every home, where the minister can put everything in the house under his watchful gaze, to improve their functionality.

At press time, it is believed this will help correct Singapore’s declining birth rate, reverse juvenile delinquency problems and also improve the PAP’s vote share at the next General Election.

 

lui-tuck-yew-cardboard-01

 

 

 

 

 





God confirms Bishan MRT Circle Line blackout is short circuit, not apocalyptic warning

God confirms Bishan MRT Circle Line blackout is short circuit, not apocalyptic warning

Tags: , , , , ,


Be not alarmed, my children, He said.

bishan-mrt-blackout

In a bid to soothe the frayed nerves of His creation, God has confirmed that the blackout at Bishan MRT Circle Line on Saturday evening on April 4, 2015, is a power trip and not an apocalyptic warning many thought was issued by Him.

Wary of repeated warning signs signalling The End Times, Singaporeans were initially concerned if the blackout that occurred suddenly at the train station was an ominous message by The Alpha And Omega or just another one of those routine train faults that occur on a daily basis.

One commuter, Yeshu Aini, said she was reaching the train station when she was taken aback by the lack of illumination and swore she saw some angels descent from the second floor to the first: “But turns out those were the technicians who were wearing headlamps and rectifying the power trip, which I mistook to be halos.”

Not that there isn’t fire without smoke.

This blackout follows the Good Friday fire at JEM shopping mall in Jurong East, where the external walls were momentarily engulfed in a blaze, which many have taken to be yet another warning sign by God that he is going to destroy the place.

However, when asked about the latest JEM shopping mall fire, The Lord God Almighty was tight-lipped and refused to confirm or deny it was a sign sent by him, further fuelling speculation the time is about now.

The Maker of the Heavens and the Earth only said: “When it is time, it is time. Be not alarmed, my children.”

“For The Lord works in mysterious ways.”

 

It is time:

Fire at JEM mall in Jurong East on Good Friday night could be final warning by God

7 signs God is going to destroy JEM mall in Jurong East by end of 2014