Tag Archive | "Archbishop Nicholas Chia"

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy overshadowed, S’poreans distraught

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy overshadowed, S’poreans distraught

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Ministry of Home Affairs and Archbishop Nicholas Chia to blame.

News of Xiaxue’s pregnancy has been overshadowed by petty politicking.

Singaporeans from all walks of life are crying foul.

They are upset that the recent extensive media coverage given to the spat started by Archbishop Nicholas Chia and the Ministry of Home Affairs is at the exclusion of news that leading woman’s rights figure, Xiaxue, is pregnant.

And this consequence, to some, is dire.

One Singaporean woman in her 30s, who wanted to be known as Boh Tao Nao, said: “I’m curious to find out if someone who has plastic surgery done to sharpen her nose will pass on that physical trait to her baby, but I cannot, because no one in the media has interviewed a leading geneticist for the answer?”

Upset that Singapore’s focus is all wrong, another woman in her late 20s, Gong Dai Dai said: “The MHA should re-look its priorities. Doesn’t the ‘Home’ in Ministry of Home Affairs stand for ‘Domestic’? Why the lack of coverage of Xiaxue’s domestication then?”

One of Xiaxue’s unofficial fan club, Fanatical Xiaxue Crusaders, Kakis (FXCK), has been lobbying the media to change its stance. They want the media spotlight to veer towards real news instead of what the head of the Catholic Church, Archbishop Nicholas Chia, did not do or say, because until early this week, no one knew or cared who he is.

However, there have been some others who are taking this opportunity to decry the twin terror of excesses in society today — politics and religion.

Zhou Gong Tao, one of those who views politics and religion as the cause of all problems and shopping and eating as the panacea, said: “It is without a doubt that the excesses of religion and politics have shown their true colours and Singapore is being threatened by them.”

Therefore, a more reasoned approach has to be proposed to resolve all problems today.

“We all know what to do to solve the problem. MHA ought to abolish religion. And then MHA should fold and call it a day after that,” Zhou said.

Archbishop Nicholas Chia offered free letter-writing tuition

Archbishop Nicholas Chia offered free letter-writing tuition

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Singaporeans aghast Head of Catholic Church cannot communicate properly in the midst of National Conversation.

Archbishop Nicholas Chia, head of the Catholic Church.

A group of Singaporeans, mostly social workers with a heart for those in need and who are not very dissimilar from the folks at activist group Function 8, have banded together to offer free letter-writing tuition to Archbishop Nicholas Chia, who is embroiled in a National Argument as a result of being unable to write and communicate properly.

They are offering this free service to the Archbishop because he is not doing too well given that Singapore’s National Conversation has barely started and he is finding himself in the deep end of it.

The letter-writing tuition would cover basics such as expressing one’s opinion in an active voice, writing with a subject-verb agreement, developing an unambiguous topic sentence and also covers the ethics of writing, such avoiding putting out and retracting letters for fun.

Letter-writing tutor, Xie Ying Wen, said communication is especially important these days given how even the Prime Minister is doing it in dollops.

And the last thing anyone needs is to look like he doesn’t know what he is saying.

Because not knowing what one is saying and insisting on preaching it is usually best left to sheep-faced false prophets. Which is technically worse than being a wishy-washy liberal.

Xie said: “To be able to write is human. To be able to write without retracting letters, is divine.”

However, people who cannot express themselves properly need not be embarrassed about seeking help.

Because what’s worse than being someone who cannot write proper prose and convey basic ideas?

“Being a virgin,” Xie said, rather unhelpfully.

NTUC FairPrice retracts love letters sold to Function 8

NTUC FairPrice retracts love letters sold to Function 8

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Supermarket worried activist group will use them in a manner it does not agree with.

Archbishop Nicholas Chia, head of the Catholic Church. Why does he look so sad?

Following in the footsteps of the head of the Catholic Church, Singapore’s unionised supermarket chain, NTUC FairPrice, has asked activist group, Function 8, to return a tin of love letters that was sold to them early this year.

Love letters are biscuit rolls that are popular in Asia where people stuff their face with during the Lunar New Year as a way to kill time during awkward family reunions.

Must. Eat. Love. Letters. To. Avoid. Awkward. CNY. Conversations. Repeat.

What inspired NTUC FairPrice’s action was the revelations¬†two days ago that Archbishop Nicholas Chia, the head of the Catholic Church, had written a letter to Function 8 backing its call to abolish the Internal Security Act in June.

But he later withdrew the letter after drinking coffee with Deputy Prime Minister Teo Chee Hean.

All these facts have been documented by blogger extraordinaire, Alex Yawning Bread Au.

Archbishop Chia’s reasoning for his retraction is that the initial letter, which Function 8 did not solicit for in the first place, could be used “in a manner that I did not intend”.

How so, your guess is never going to be as good as mine, because I’m just saying, an unsolicited letter when divided by zero will cause world annihilation.

NTUC FairPrice, however, displaying the same amount of reasoning prowess, said it is asking back the tin of love letters initially sold to Function 8, just in case it can be used to affect Singapore’s social harmony.