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Association of Apathetic S’poreans issues statement on race: ‘We don’t care’

Posted on 31 May 2017

We don’t know what is happening and we don’t care, they say.


The Association of Apathetic Singaporeans (ASS), who don’t even care if their acronym is wrong, has issued a statement to hit out at Singaporeans who care about race as all sides have lost their shit.

President of ASS, Mai Huan Loh, in a statement issued to the media, said: “I don’t know what they are fighting about, but if they must, can they don’t?”

Mai added: “I just want to know approximately how much is my year-end bonus this year and will I get promoted? Plus, where are the best and new cafes in Singapore? And why hasn’t my credit card points been redeemed yet?”

Other members of ASS said they have not been following whatever has been happening in the racial realm or following the debates surrounding races.

One other ASS member, Mai Cha La, said: “I hope the Chinese, Malays, Indians and Others can just do their thing quietly.”

“By making so much noise and having the media constantly cover the event, it just makes me want to look up from my screen when I’m watching all these free downloaded drama series from online.”



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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Veens Logan

    Bloody airheads – wasted space in this universe!