NUS students have 1 free week to organise own orgies outside campus after Orientation Week cancelled

Posted on 31 July 2016

Now they have no choice but to come up with their own debauchery.


National University of Singapore students from all walks of life, who like to make loud noises and do things that involve friction, are shaking their heads and expressing their deep disappointment as they now have to pull together a plan in short notice.

This after the Orientation Week scheduled to take place next week has been cancelled by the school’s authorities following news that NUS students have been having too much fun at the expense of the university’s reputation.

One NUS student, Lai Zuo Ai, said she is aghast that she now has one free week ahead and needs to plan something that is beyond the university’s purview: “One week of nothingness and several thousand young adults ready to have a go. I wonder what we can do now instead of playing pre-approved games on campus in public?”

“I guess we have no choice but to take things outside of campus, away to a private place, far from prying eyes, completely unsupervised.”

“It is easy to pull a few thousand dollars to rent a venue with so many of us around.”

Other NUS students said succumbing to ennui would only cause them to approach other avenues.

Lim Seow, another tertiary student, said: “There’s a reason why it is called ‘succumb’.”

However, many other NUS students said positive things can still come out of this episode, such as helping the local media regain some of its lustre.

See Kiao Keow, another student, said: “We would forward photographic and video evidence of our off-campus activities to The New Paper to help improve their viewership numbers since they are in a sunset industry.”

“And after our one week of respite, we will team bond by doing some research and prepare the obituaries of our favourite mainstream media reporters.”

“Now that we have one free week to do whatever we want, I hope the public is pleased with itself.”







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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Masa Soh Mengming

    Ah. Libertines in the making eh? If they decide organise an orgy out of campus and the “public” gets wind of it, I suppose we can throw some of them into jail for outrage of modesty.