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S’pore Zoo given M18 rating as all animals fail to conform to nuclear family unit

Posted on 12 June 2016

Alternative family arrangements are not allowed in Singapore, regardless of biological status.

singapore-zoo-entrance

The Singapore Zoo has been slapped with an M18 rating by the local censorship board.

This after it was discovered that all the animals held in captivity do not conform to the traditional family unit of one father, one mother and two children.

One censorship expert, Guan Yan Jin, said: “This is an affront to our sensibilities as a morally upright nation and threatens to tear the fabric of our being asunder.”

“After a multi-year observational study, we discovered some animals display tendencies towards same-sex pairings, such as penguins, while other animal groups developed hierarchies where one single alpha male dominates the mating scene with a harem of eager and willing females at its disposal.”

“This sort of swinger culture has to be frowned upon and advised against as we shall not stand for this and neither allow ourselves to be held hostage to the values of fringe groups in our Singaporean society.”

With immediate effect, visitors to the zoo will have to provide proof of their age to purchase tickets before being granted entry into its premises.

While inside, photography and videography are strictly forbidden to prevent the rest of the world from bearing witness to Singapore’s decadent subculture.

Advisories will be announced internationally warning any visitor that what they are about to witness in the confines of the zoo do not reflect the real conservative values in Singapore society at large.

Part of the advisory issued will read: “Alternative family arrangements are not allowed in Singapore, regardless of biological status.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





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- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Melissa Tanhuiling

    What the F???