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S’pore to replace rice in rice dumplings with Coke as it is a healthier choice

Posted on 29 May 2016

Rice causes diabetes.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe alarmist news that rice will give you diabetes and you will die as your limbs get gangrenous and amputated, are rejoicing.

This after it was announced by the authorities that all rice dumplings in Singapore will be replaced with carbonated can drinks, such as Coke, as the dumpling season draws near.

One Singaporean, Jiak Bak Chang, said she is glad Coke is a healthier choice compared to rice: “I look forward to having steamed sweetened meat fillings in Coke served in wrapped leaves. Rice is evil because the government says so.”

Other locals said having Coke is better than rice as there is no doubt whatsoever that anything reported in the mainstream press must be correct and gospel truth because the media is an institution of many years.

Another Singaporean, Tak Poh Zhua, said: “Rice has only be eaten by Asians for thousands of years. It will not be difficult to switch to Coke overnight as the mainstream press is always very right and accurate.”

“But this is just a start. Singaporeans must then replace all the other foods in their diet into Coke as it is a healthier choice.”

“Onward Singapore.”







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- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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