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Freshly harvested durian at Tampenis declared a new breed

Posted on 30 October 2015

It will be called Tampenis durian.

durian-penis

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to put firm and creamy things inside their mouths, can look forward to a new breed of durian that will fulfill all their hopes and expectations.

This after a new breed of durian has been discovered in Tampenis, which is a new town in Singapore, that is shaped irregularly compared to normal rounded and oval-shaped durians.

One fruit expert, Chi Liew Lian, said this newly-discovered durian will be called Tampenis durian and has multiple health benefits when eaten correctly: “If you can swallow the whole thing at one go, it will help develop a strong oesophagus.”

“The most common sensation most people will feel is a gag reflex.”

“However, the good news is that it can be overcome.”

But not all Singaporeans are buying into the hype as some felt this new durian breed should be regulated by the authorities before things go awry.

Jin Tit, another local who stays at Tampenis, said: “I personally feel that this Tampenis durian will put unattainable standards in the minds of women and fetch a high price in the black market, as they are believed to be aphrodisiacs, besides being known to make people giggle.”

“Hence, Singapore needs to take a firm and hard stance against this type of fruit peddling. We cannot simply take things lying down and allow these fruits to penetrate our society’s consciousness.”

 

 

 

 

 











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- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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