North-South, East-West line breakdown unites S’poreans

Posted on 07 July 2015

Singaporeans bond over calls to commit hara-kiri, meditate on their role in Singapore’s natural aristocracy.


Singaporeans from all walks of life who are experiencing the complete collapse of the SMRT North-South and East-West lines system say they feel united as one people, one nation and one Singapore.

This after the breakdown brought a large number of Singaporeans together to commiserate with one another.

One Singaporean, Zuo Huang Di, said: “The last time I saw this many thousands of Singaporeans hanging out together was at Workers’ Party rally in Hougang, where Singaporeans turned up in droves and were united as one.”

“This 7/7/2015 complete collapse of the SMRT system really brings us back to those good times, and now at a time like this, it allows for each and every Singaporean to meditate on our role in this natural aristocracy.”

Other Singaporeans said given this current climate of immobility, it is a good time to put their heads together to go through the list of those who should take responsibility and commit hara-kiri.

Another Singaporean, Qu Zi Sah, said: “As the minion class, we deserve this cattle class treatment.”

“But it is also a good time to contemplate who in the upper management will need to commit hara-kiri because according to National Development Minister Khaw Boon Wan, those who cause lapses to occur must commit suicide via hara-kiri, as a matter of atonement and accepting responsibility for failure.”

At press time, other Singaporeans say they are already looking forward to more of such gatherings to allow locals to bond together in large groups as reliability of SMRT train services is increasing.








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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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