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Authorities censor Gardens By The Bay cactus that grew longer than originally planned

Posted on 27 May 2015

Asian species of cactus wasn’t supposed to be this long.


Authorities scrambled to rectify a situation Wednesday after a species of Asian cactus residing in the Flower Dome at the Gardens By The Bay was discovered to have grown to an unacceptable length, mimicking the Sub-Saharan African variety.

Saying how they had not anticipated what could have excited the vegetation to grow so quickly or to engage in such mimicry possibly as a result of genetic mutation, planners of the carefully curated greenhouse will allow the authorities to step in to censor the vulgar vegetation as it is not in line with the state’s image as a virginal paradise that embraces Asian Values.

See Baey Tng, a source familiar with the situation, said: “Singapore is still a conservative Asian society and we cannot allow Western, or even African, influences to penetrate our way of life.”

Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to protect their virgin eyes from dirty things, said they support the authorities in taking a firm and hard stance against the cactus by cutting it off.

Jin Tit, a local, said: “We must cut this cactus off before it puts unattainable standards in the minds of our local women.”

“We must put an end to such immoral cultivation practices.”


Singapore is all about Asian Values:

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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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