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Realisation that IKEA’s Shelf Help Guru might be gay sends shock waves across conservative religious community in S’pore

Posted on 20 April 2015

They have turned around to accuse IKEA of infiltrating their religious community using clandestine means.

ikea-shelf-help-guru

Shock waves are emanating across Singapore’s conservative religious community after they discovered that IKEA’s Shelf Help Guru might actually be gay.

This after it was revealed that IKEA had uncharacteristically pledged support to an upcoming July performance by a local gay-bashing magician, which left the LGBT community in Singapore initially shocked and up in arms.

However, it now appears that the shoe is on the other foot as the conservative religious community have turned around to accuse IKEA Singapore of employing clandestine means to infiltrate their community by not declaring upfront that the Shelf Help Guru might be a gay man.

One local member of the conservative religious community, Xing Ye Shu, said this revelation has left his entire life in disarray: “Never in my wildest dreams would I imagine that a furniture company would employ a gay person to openly hawk their wares.”

“As I have been buying IKEA furniture and eating their meatballs with brown mystery sauce all my life, therefore, I have been directly contributing to sin by financing it and this has allowed homosexuality to thrive.”

At press time, it is expected that the local gay-bashing magician will soon come out to denounce IKEA furniture and meatballs.

 

In a previous crisis in Singapore:

Apple CEO confesses he’s gay, causes crisis in FCBC and FotF as many members are iPhone users

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- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Chan Yee mang

    Wang Pei. I like the New Nation but you need to realize that conservatives have the same rights as anyone else. The LGBT crowd can push their point of view and so should the religious. Just because Obama’s view “evolved” to support gay marriage doesn’t mean he is right or that the whole world has been wrong the last few thousand years. This is a social experiment and we don’t know what the outcome will be until several decades down the road. Don’t be a gay Nazi by suppressing the freedom of speech of others.

    • wisementalking

      um did you know that this was satire?

    • LookAtTheMirror

      Aren’t u trying to surpress Wang Pei’s freedom of speech ? 😛

    • Passerby

      Wow you’re so stupid it hurts.

  • Alwyn Chan

    Bwah hahhaha… farny sia…. hey did anyone see the tag above ONLI 50% real news lor….

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