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S’pore to ban eating in public after banning alcohol consumption in public after 10.30pm

Posted on 19 January 2015

Travelling in public and making love at night will also be banned soon.

drunk-clark-quay

In a bid to become a vibrant metropolis and the top city in the world, Singapore is banning the public consumption of alcohol after 10.30pm once the Liquor Control Bill is passed in parliament.

This means that no one is allowed to be seen drinking or holding alcohol in public after 10.30pm. Violators will be shot on sight and survivors will be shot repeatedly.

The ban on the public consumption of alcohol after 10.30pm will also mark the start of a series of prohibitions to follow: Once alcohol has been successfully banned in public at night, eating and travelling in public after 10.30pm will also be banned.

A government spokesperson, Lim Kah Tor, said: “Anything can be considered a vice these days. If you eat in public after 10.30pm, you will grow fat because your metabolism slows down at night.”

“And when you grow fat, you will block people’s way when you go out. For example, you can keep left on the escalator, but it looks like you are still keeping right.”

“This will cause tempers to flare and people will get annoyed, fight and a full scale racial riot will break out like in the 1960s. Plus, with alcohol, things will get worse.”

“So, to prevent such catastrophes, we need to monitor the situation and then stop people from eating and travelling at night after 10.30pm and impose martial law and curfews and wind down public transportation services before dark.”

Locals who heard of the new proposed measures said they are heartened that their lives will be made better and more interesting as a result.

One local, Pah Kah Luan, said: “No wonder people in Singapore more likely to riot these days.”

 

Alcohol is the cause of all problems in Singapore:

Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred

Foreign workers rioted because they were feeling okay

Cigarettes, alcohol completely sold out as S’pore announces plan to increase taxes from today

 

 

 

 

 





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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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