LTA to bring Thai discos to MRT stations

Posted on 03 July 2014

Move said to prompted by increasing consumer dissatisfaction

In addition to free wifi, fans, buskers, costume parties and free door gifts, the Land Transport Authority (LTA) will be bringing Thai discos to MRT stations in a bid to improve customer satisfaction.

Commuters can enjoy a morning workout while waiting for trains to be fixed. Rides will never be the same again.

Commuters can enjoy a morning workout while waiting for trains to be fixed. Rides will never be the same again.

Consumer satisfaction on trains has been on a record decline as commuters become extremely bored during train breakdowns. According to New Nation’s very reliable survey, based on three people actually taking the train, commuters could be stuck at train stations for up to an hour.

“Most complaints filed to us indicate that boredom is the key reason for consumer dissatisfaction,” said LTA spokesperson Lay Dee Boyd. “Therefore we have decided to splash a few million on club entertainment on train carriages so commuters can be entertained while they wait for the tracks to be fixed with cable tie.”

According to LTA's estimations, each MRT carriage can fit at least 3 pole dancers comfortably.

According to LTA’s estimations, each MRT carriage can fit at least 3 pole dancers comfortably.

Boyd dismissed New Nation’s suggestion to allocate the budget to improving the tracks or trains, explaining that it would a colossal waste of taxpayer funds.

“The train breakdowns have nothing to do with how much we spend on repairing the tracks. We must move on from griping about train breakdowns and think about how to improve the situation, such as whether playing Lady Gaga on the trains would constitute support for the LGBT movement.”

 

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  • county

    Oh yes! Entertain us when the train breaks down, again!