Mysterious affliction spreads to UK expats

Posted on 20 June 2014

All declare MC on Friday


The mysterious affliction that begun spreading in Singapore last Friday has now found to be spreading among expats in Singapore. According to MOH data, UK expats are genetically more vulnerable to this disease, which climaxes among the demographic usually midway through the World Cup.

Unlike Singaporean carriers of the virus, who generally display milder symptoms such as insomnia at 4am and temporary Tourettes, UK carriers of the virus are found to be bad tempered and violent across the board.

“Boss today declare MC, but he was still yelling at me during the con call. Don’t know why he was picking on me today,” said Suarez Chew, a banker who was named after Spain’s first prime minister.

Fortunately this affliction is only temporary and will subside within a week.

“Past cases have shown that UK expats all manage to recover quickly, particularly after picking another football team to support. But there’s a danger of the virus flaring up again should the said team lose during the finals,” said MOH spokesperson, Tak Kiu.

What were the odds of this happening? Test your luck with world cup 2014 odds.

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Joey is an intern at New Nation. He hopes to be as funny as Belmont one day and get laid at least twice a month.

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