OpenNet fibre optic installation leading to greater depression, wretchedness in S’pore

Posted on 23 November 2013

Increasing Internet speeds causing 5 million unhappy people in S’pore to feel worse, because PM Lee.

The new face of depression

The new face of depression

The more than 5 million wretched souls in Singapore are going to feel worse about their lot in life when OpenNet fibre optic completes its installation island-wide some time never soon.

This after Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong said at The Zaobao Forum yesterday: “Satisfied people don’t have time to go onto the Internet. Unhappy people often go there.”

He made these comments as Internet access is a sign of depression. And many Singaporeans concur this is true.

“Yah, I feel so horrible right now, I am doing iBanking,” said Jin Buay Song, a middle manager with four years experience in IT.

Others are taking things in their stride.

Another Singaporean, Bu Hu Hoo, said: “I feel so wretched, I am buying movie tickets using my iPhone app.”

Yet another Singaporean, See Beh Man, let out a primal guttural bellow as he downloaded his lecture notes from the school’s Intranet server using his SingTel connection that keeps cutting off: “FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU!”

PM Lee’s Facebook page is Liked by 202,000 of the saddest bastards the Internet has ever seen.

 

 

 

 

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- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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