Essence of chicken industry collapses after S’pore stops revealing PSLE top scores

Posted on 25 November 2013

Lack of essence of chicken ambassadors caused efficacy of product to diminish.


The essence of chicken industry in Singapore has officially collapsed this year.

This after Singapore stopped publishing the PSLE high scores in a bid to emphasise that all schools are good schools so that you will believe egalitarian outcomes can be dictated without looking like a Communist country.

Sources told New Nation that without PSLE high scores being made known, essence of chicken drinks cannot be properly marketed, resulting in the efficacy of the product to decline drastically.

One essence of chicken drink spokesperson, Lim Gui Jin, explained: “In Singaporeans’ minds, things are very clear cut one.”

“If the government says PSLE high scores cannot be revealed, in people’s minds it means there are no PSLE high scorers.”

“And if there are no PSLE high scorers, it means essence of chicken drinks don’t work because they cannot produce top scorers.”

“All link one.”





This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • girl0001

    R.I.P english

    • khai

      R.I.P your sense of humour

      • Jeremy Yang

        R.I.P Brian Griffin

        • Ryan

          Here’s a cookie, Jeremy, you just won the internet for today.

  • JingJiJing

    I am loving this site.

  • facepalmer

    Just because the PSLE top scores aren’t revealed, it does not mean they do not exist. Fancy people refusing to face the reality that there would ultimately be top scores and/or scorers in PSLE. Or people being deceived that there is no top scorer and that every candidate is one.

    • troller

      Exactly! The truth hurts, but hiding away from the truth is not gonna make it any better! Hiding away from the truth is what losers do. Be strong, face it, hiding will not make one go very far

      • person

        They are going to hide each candidate’s aggregate next! Now how are we gonna choose our secondary school without knowing anything???

  • random

    Time to think of a new marketing strategy

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