Categorized | Education

Tags :

Singaporeans in hell rejoice at book burning festival

Posted on 08 October 2013

Average IQ down below raised by 20 points

Sio eh.

Sio eh.

Underprivileged Singaporeans of the netherworld are celebrating after getting a fresh supply of textbooks following the end of the Primary School Leaving Examinations (“PSLE”) last Wednesday.

This was because a group of 10 adults and children finally decided to do something sensible with their used textbooks – use them as fuel for a bonfire.

“This is a huge carthartic release for me,” said overjoyed student Bu Liu Ban, who reckons that he barely passed his exams.

“I am glad I can contribute this knowledge to someone else who has better use of it”, he said, adding that he would have no use for his knowledge of math, science and Chinese as he was going to New York to study art.

Various religious leaders have observed that the new textbooks in hell have boosted the average IQ of netherworld citizens by 20 points. This has led to some worry that they might begin to demand for more intangible offerings during the seventh month.

“More educated ghosts will have demands that extends far beyond the base of the Maslow’s pyramid,” said the founder of e-commerce hell goods website, who declined to be named. (Note: We have asked about payment methods and they insist to have payment made in SGD).

Not everyone is happy, however. Netizens have raised a stink that the act of book burning is a show of disrespect for knowledge and the environment and is a tribute to tyranny.

“Last time Qin Shi Huang burnt books to unite China with a common language. Today we have appropriated the act and democratised it – this is a show of liberation! How is that not a good thing?” said one top student from RI, Eh Tak Chek.





This post was written by:

- who has written 268 posts on New Nation.

Joey is an intern at New Nation. He hopes to be as funny as Belmont one day and get laid at least twice a month.

Contact the author