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Singaporeans sleep better at night after National Day Rally speech

Posted on 18 August 2013

Landmark speech found to be cure for insomnia


Approximately 2.5 million Singaporeans, 1 million permanent residents and all foreign workers in Singapore slept better on Sunday night after listening to Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong’s national day rally speech after dinner. This, despite the fact that only 10 people were actually paying attention to the speech as it was broadcasted throughout the nation on various television stations after dinner time.

“Boredom is contagious, and transmitted through yawning. So you only need a single person to yawn at the coffee shop to infect the rest of the patrons around – even those not watching the speech,” said professional sleep therapist Yao Shui Jiao.

According to Yao, who is working on a seminal book titled “Rally speeches as sleep therapy: the soporific effects of PM Lee”, the prime minister’s landmark speech could be implemented in other countries, particularly urban cities that never sleep. However, Yao also warns that the execution of the speech elsewhere requires close monitoring as it could prove to be fatal for those listening in.

“Nabeh! I watching my Crystal Palace match halfway and halfway through, when I turned around to order one more beer, I caught a glimpse of the national day rally speech. Wa lao eh! I nearly kenna bored to death lor! Close shave sia!” said kopitiam patron who wanted to be known as Uncle Stout.

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  • Wah Boi Kun

    Now I have insomnia. Haha

  • Kee Si Lang

    Sleepless in SG. Year in year out, KKK KKS ahh? (kah ki kong, kah ki song). Haha