Announcement: New Nation to support Midas Jin Jue Lui in Punggol by-election

Posted on 11 January 2013

Minority opposition party, the Every Day Party (EDP) has announced that it would field Midas Jin Jue Lui, also known as Mr Brown s/o Sim Lim, as its candidate for the upcoming Punggol East by-election on 26th Jan.

A “non-partisan non-organisation founded in 2011 to counter boring politics in Singapore”, it has yet to register as a political association as none of its founders are dashing enough to have their mugshots displayed in public.

Therefore, it is likely that Jin will be contesting as an independent candidate using the EDP as an election vehicle to mobilise popular support online.

As of 9 Jan 2013, Jin held two portfolios — Acting Minister in the Ministry of Healthy Bowel Movement and Plywood as well as Minister without portfolio.

He was seen in a PAP campaign video to be “behind” the PAP’s candidate, ass doctor colorectal surgeon Koh Poh Koon, “100 percent”. Yet he appeared to have had a change of heart two days later.

According to sources within the EDP, he became frustrated with piles of administrative work and in his own words, decided to “tear the PAP a new one”.

The announcement that Jin would be a candidate in Punggol came as a shock to the People’s Action Party, who had been expecting a resounding victory in line with an opinion poll done by nation-building press The Straits Times.

“We all knew Midas to be a bit of a turd. But for him to turn the other cheek, to quit the party and to abandon his Ministry just two days after releasing the campaign video… that speaks of a shitty character,” said a member of Jin’s inner circle within the PAP.

The Workers’ Party and the Singapore Democratic Party, both which are expected to contest in the election, could not be reached for comment as they are busy fighting each other.

“When we saw Midas’s campaign video on his website, we were floored by his sincerity in curing the anal-retentive disorder that is plaguing the nation,” said New Nation co-founder and Yahoo! columnist whose name begins with B and ends with T. The editors of the news website which is usually 50% real, have pledged to donate $1 each to Jin’s campaign fund, together with $5,000 worth of moral support each.

This leaves Jin with $997 to raise to cover his election deposit.

“Jin will probably not lose his deposit in this by-election,” said self-styled political pundit Eric de Yaya. “With his partial Indian heritage, he will get some cache from the minority races, and especially those who have known his father, Sim Lim s/o Rochor. His entering the fray would make this by-election a seven-cornered fight, which means a lot of corners.”

Jin could not be contacted for comment and despite multiple reminders to collect his nomination papers, he appears to be more interested in watching Korean dramas than contesting in the election.

We are sure this is a cunning political ploy. Of some sort.

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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • The Wrath Of Grapes

    /// Jin will probably not lose his deposit in this by-election,” said self-styled political pundit Eric de Yaya. ///

    He has no more to deposit – already deposited at his home toilet while doing the video and getting to the bottom of things. His deposit is all brown………