Give Sumiko Tan a Pulitzer Prize, please

Posted on 01 October 2012

She is the best writer in this galaxy so she deserves our help to get rid of those eye bags.

With yet another potential Pulitzer-winning piece out on Sept. 30, 2012 in Sunday Life!, Sumiko Tan proves why she is the best writer in the galaxy.

Potential Pulitzer Prize winner and the national broadsheet’s greatest writer since the dawn of time, Sumiko Tan, penned a heartfelt missive in Sunday Life! on Sept. 30, 2012.

Ok, ok. Don’t walk away yet! Listen to what she has to say. It will change your life!

Yes, it is written in the same twisted panties style she pioneered but just give me three minutes alright?!

In her column this week, she talked about how her body is unlike what it used to be because she is older now at 46 years old, and although she is less wet behind the ears, she is at peace, more confident and wise.

Ok, ok. She also said that she and her husband are mating because he sees her as a “peachy 16-year-old” having known her when they were both teenagers.

To sum it off, she said she is also very upset as she has “those damned double eye bags”.

So she asked readers for advice about how to get rid of them.

Being kind and all, here are a few suggestions New Nation has accumulated for getting rid of double eye bags. (Results may vary from individual to individual.)

For the uninitiated, this is Bedok Reservoir.

This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • my balls have shrunk

    Who gives a shit if she has eyebags or her breasts are sagging. That’s what you get when you write for the Shit Times.

  • sumikooooFailz


  • Spectre Kle

    It’s not even bronze standard. It’s Flouride waste standard.

  • Tamiko Sue

    At least she is not writing about her hemorrhoids this time.

  • Dafuq

    I prefer guillotine style 😉

  • Fluff

    She’s Singapore’s NO.1 Prized idiot.

  • Minghui Kuok

    I find it quite funny to see a columnist for a state newspaper of ST’s status to write up something far more akin to a gal mag’s column. Granted I can’t judge a writer if I’ve never seen him/her write, but still I lol’ed hard at the gifs. Especially Snape. only mistake I’m seeing here? Snape won’t be that kind hearted in-character. 😛

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