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Bloggers planning torrential downpour on Dîner en Blanc

Posted on 25 August 2012

Strong winds and lightning also expected on Thursday’s event – to wash out all manner of pretentiousness.

As Dîner en Blanc is most probably an outdoor event, with the organiser priding itself for stoically insisting on carrying on regardless of weather conditions, what better way to pamper participants’ senses than a tropical torrential downpour?

Several local food bloggers who have been disinvited to Dîner en Blanc — this Thursday’s chi chi picnic at a secret location that is most probably held outdoors — are going to demonstrate to the organisers that they are not meant to be trifled with.

The electronic food scribes are planning on seeding clouds in the sky to ensure that it culminates into a massive island-wide haul ass torrential downpour to wash out all manners of pretentiousness in the picnic.

Dîner en Blanc is an international affair started by the cheese-eating surrender monkeys two decades ago that glorifies upmarket chow while dressed in white and abiding by strict rules such as making participants wear white clothes, white underwear, white lip gloss and white nipple tape.

Tech savvy as they are, food bloggers currently running the Internet and social media sphere are going to use their unprecedented powers and influence to enlist the help of scores of Internet users to ensure a spectacular storm brews over the next few days.

One food blogger has already sent out a dozen alert messages to companies around the world that possess cloud-seeding technology to help bring a touch of Mother Nature to Thursday evening’s proceedings.

To increase greater rates of evaporation to seed even more clouds artificially, bloggers are boiling pots of water day and night for the next few days.

They are also encouraging people to tumble dry wet laundry with greater frequency and pointlessly washing clothes so that more water can be evaporated.

One blogger who refused to be named, said: “We aim to achieve nothing short of a flood.”

He also said: “What’s more, all good picnics should end with a wet T-shirt competition.”

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Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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