Singapore must ban Lady Gaga

Posted on 28 May 2012

Dear Editors,

I am shocked, appalled and outraged that the authorities have let the succubus herself step onto our shores. As a god-fearing parent of two young, impressionable sons, I implore the government to stop Singapore from going to hell.

It was only yesterday that I found a ticket for a “Lady Gaga” concert tucked away in my son’s room in his closet. Thankfully, I keep his room spick and span and even arrange his underwear according to colour, otherwise I would never have known what he was keeping from his own mother.

What kind of name is “Lady Gaga” anyway? That’s the sound that babies make. Is she encouraging her fans to be infantile?

Upon some checking with my tech-savvy church friends, I learnt that she, was none other than the devil reborn. Don’t believe me? I’ll send you some of the pictures my friends printed from this website called Google.

Look at the horrifying skeletal face that witch has

Look at that horrifying snarl!

Lady Gaga cannot be allowed to spread her immoral, western values in her concert tonight. The very basis of our nation’s existence depends on it.

Just look at Indonesia. I fundamentally disagree with their Islamic, oppressive stance on women, but even they are taking a step in the right direction by banning the Gaga concert. They may have their lost their way by not acknowledging the Christian god as the Almighty, but in terms of protecting their children, they are miles ahead of us.

I am outraged that the Minister for Information, Communications and the Arts Yaacob Ibrahim is not doing anything to prevent our young from being corrupted by the evil propagated by Lady Gaga.

Because of his inaction, my son is now learning the dark art of cursing.

I once heard him singing her satanic verse “born this way” in the shower, right after we had a big argument about him stealing my makeup. I told him: “Son, boys cannot wear makeup or dresses. God made Man and Woman differently and that’s just the way things are”. Little did I know that he would storm off in rage.

My heart is broken, my son does not listen to me anymore. And as a god-fearing parent living in a nation run by Asian values and Asian traditions, I deplore you, the editors and readers of New Nation to do our part to prevent Singapore from going to hell.

I’m doing my best to save my son who will be attending the concert with his best friend Aaron, a nice young man that he goes to the Free Community Church with. It’s one of those new fashionable churches for young people, like City Harvest.

My boy boy has grown rebellious, but I hope that Aaron can knock some sense into him. Lipstick does not belong on boys, muscles do. And Aaron is a strapping young man. His cheeks are always very rosy, and complexion very smooth.

The devil has already stepped on our shores, but its not too late to stop her from propagating evil to innocent, unsuspecting children.

Yours truly,

Conservative Nazi

This post was written by:

- who has written 268 posts on New Nation.

Joey is an intern at New Nation. He hopes to be as funny as Belmont one day and get laid at least twice a month.

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  • Fufudh

    To whoever wrote this – please dispose your current ways of living.

  • Scott

    I am constantly amused by people who can’t tell satire from reality. But I guess the most scary thing is that there are MANY who think like ‘Conservative Nazi’!

  • sqaure

    lady gaga.
    i rather have the dalai lama?

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  • Steve

    Again – HILARIOUS!! Hmmm the story sounds remarkably like my childhood but back then it was Madonna – which of course is a much better name than ga ga

  • visitor

    ive check the world democracy index and found that both malaysia and indonesia, although culturally conservative are actually more democratic than the secular dictatorship (singapore) in the middle.

    ive always hated fundamentalists from both sides – secular or religious, both try to coerce people but little is left to ask what people really want.

    on another note, this article is hilarious!! 

  • Evelyn Ho

    I agree with C. Nazi. Satan cannot get to strong Christians or other good religions to follow or idolise him because Singapore is generally a God fearing nation. If u notice, most of the ppl of various faith are praying, fasting or engage in interfaith dialogue to promote love and peace here. Take a look at all churches, mosques and temples, they are full house during their respective services. So Mr. S.A. TAN is not too happy abt it, he will do all he can to infiltrate young ppl to his culture of evil. Easier to get the young because of their immaturity and weak faith in God. He therefore uses many avenues to promote evil drawing ppl away fr God. One of them is through music because we all like music. One of the entertainers he uses is Lady Gaga and many others. There are many clean entertainers, but some are not. U will know who they are by the props, costumes, make up with signs of Satan hidden in harmless and subtle manner. Ppl think it is cool unless u can discern well. The designs of their accessories and attire of a person will project who they are. A court judge will wear a wig in court, an army personel wears his military attire when he perfoms his duties and thus u know who they are. The same with L. Gaga, her accessories and grotesque make up are all signs of Satan’s culture. I am sure the Minister knows that, being a man of his own faith. It is ok to bring in foreign entertainers but with discernment otherwise Singapore could be a future nation of hell.

  • zzzu

    is this article real or a joke? I think and hope it’s the latter.

  • Jennifer

    Lady Gaga got her name from the song radio ga ga not some stupid baby theory. At least read up about the artiste your son worship if you truly care about your son. I hope this fu*king article was made up by a conservative Nazi troll.

    Paws up, fellow little monster!