By Patriotic Singaporean Emeritus

When Mr Tan Ho Lan walked out of Hougang MRT, he was pleasantly surprised to find signs pasted near the exits showing him the directions to the rally.

Little did he know that it was a secret ploy to trick WP supporters into attending the PAP rally in Hougang.

The PAP cunningly confused rally goers by not indicating which location was for which rally

“I knew something wasn’t right when I stood outside Hougang stadium and couldn’t hear loud cheering,” he said. Mr Tan said he felt something was amiss the moment he entered Ang Mo Kio GRC, where Hougang stadium is located.

“I should have followed my instincts. The moment I realised that I was tricked into attending the PAP rally, I took a taxi back to Hougang,” he said.

Taxi drivers were spotted waiting outside the stadium waiting for duped rally-goers to rush back to the WP rally, where all the action was.

Despite party colours dominating the evening sky, only a third of the field was occupied at 7pm when the rally started

The Hougang field at 8pm, still half occupied

Hougang field, finally almost filled to the brim as stragglers found their way back

Meanwhile a few streets away in Ang Mo Kio GRC.....

Indeed, the PAP pulled out all stops to make sure that if no one attended their rally, few should be present to attend the WP rally as well.

According to Mr Chan Ah Choon, an Hougang-based Tang Ki, the ominous lightning looming at the back of the rally was an indication that the ruling party had deployed their secret voodoo department to drive away rally-goers.

“Unfortunately the constant shouts of ‘HUAT AR!’ increased the yang in the atmosphere and that drove away the yin from the lightning clouds,” he observed.

Signs like these screaming "HUAT!!!!" drove away the yin energy from the rain clouds

Other anti-PAP rally-goers agreed. Mr Da Ben Tan, a regular reader of Temasek Review, Temasek Review Emeritus and Temasek Times claimed that the PAP had deliberately planted an ISD officer in the crowd to a) distract rally-goers from the speech with hypnotic lights, b) electrocute WP supporters who cheered too loudly.