PM Lee addresses heterosexual couples

Posted on 23 January 2012

His Chinese New Year message essentially beckons them to do the nasty more frequently and keep the by-product.

The message is clear: Singapore needs more babies or else we are going to the dogs.

Lesser babies mean the economy will sag. Singaporeans by birth will be marginalised. We shall be reduced to eating our own shorts because we will be that worse off.

You see, Singapore’s total fertility rate has been dropping from 1.6 in 2000 to 1.15 in 2010, before going back up very slightly to 1.2 in 2011.

This means there will be lesser people in the future to be harnessed as slaves… no, I mean, resources who contribute to economic output and CPF.

The prime minister, therefore, urges everyone – Chinese Singaporeans, in particular – to bend their heterosexual partners over more often to give them a damn good seeing to.

After which they should keep and maintain the outcome.

This is because Chinese Singaporeans’ TFR has dropped from 1.43 to 1.08 over the same period from 2000 to 2011.

This, can only be described as a “plunge”, for the lack of a better word.

The rationale is that Singapore can no longer rely on immigrants, although this is the exact opposite of what was said before the General Election of 2011.

Oh well.

But as usual, there is no message for gay couples.

Nothing is being said about whether they can be considered a family unit partly because they have always been known to fail to meet the government’s traditional definition of a nuclear family – which is one man plus one woman, even though opposing sexes are no better at coexisting amicably enough than same-sex couples.

This is no surprise.

Check out The Straits Times list of 10 ways to boost the birth rate in Singapore that was published exactly one year ago.

Hey, seems like an exhaustive list, doesn’t it?

But what is conspicuously missing is the alternative idea to allow gay couples to adopt.

Oh wait. What are we talking about?

That’s right! The Straits Times is the national broadsheet that panders to the whims and fancies of the conservative, the mindless and the easily offended.

If nary a proposal for same-sex couples to adopt children is even mentioned, the Forum page editor will not hear the end of it as angry letters will be sent from all over the place.

A boycott will result. Circulation will tumble. Advertising rates will drop.

The pro-establishment press will cease to exist. The society will collapse.

We will eat our shorts. And die.

The end.

This post was written by:

- who has written 2685 posts on New Nation.

Wang Pei can be considered a new citizen of Singapore. She has been here all her life, just that her environment's changed beyond recognition.

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  • Sthiodec

    well even without mention of same sex relatyionships, ST circulation is sliding…sliding…sliding…plunge!