Tibet, Xinjiang vital to keep China chicken-shaped: WikiLeaks

Posted on 11 September 2011

This is a shamelessly ripped off first third of the full article here. So good we couldn’t be bothered to paraphrase.

A senior Ministry of Interior Affairs official has claimed that the principal reason behind China’s annexation of Tibet and Xinjiang was to ensure future maps of Chinese territory form the exact shape of a giant chicken, documents released by WikiLeaks have revealed.

The highly emotional meeting, between minister Lu Penghuai and US diplomats, took place in June 2008, after riots in the Tibetan “tail feathers” region were dramatically quashed by state security forces.

If true, the documents could provide a tantalizing explanation as to why Beijing is so keen to retain regions whose non-Han populaces have plainly displayed great antipathy towards the Chinese government.

“The world’s greatest cultures all stemmed from countries shaped like recognizable objects,” Lu remarked to his anonymous American counterpart. “Italy, cradle of the Roman Empire and later founder-nation of both fascism and the shoe industry is shaped like a boot. Australia, leading light of the Southern hemisphere and dogged participant in both World Wars, looks like the noble head of a Scottish terrier.

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  • Me

    If you would bother to read the entire article, and check up on the website, you will realize this is satire, in the vein of The Onion News Network.

  • Sh

    Liked it? :)