Tag Archive | "Warren Fernandez"

ST editor Warren Fernandez fingered by public

ST editor Warren Fernandez fingered by public

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But will he be probed by the police for his role in the newspaper’s illegal election polling?

The Straits Times editor, after being fingered by the public, is probably waiting to be probed by the police some time soon.

This is due to the public raising a stink over the illegal poll conducted by The Straits Times last week, which asked Punggol East SMC residents who they will vote for in the upcoming Jan. 26 by-election:

Because polls of any sort during election period violates the sacredness of our just laws here in the People’s Republic of Singapore.

But ST went ahead and did one anyway.

Warren Fernandez, has since apologised and is now reduced to grovelling.

Warren — in a statement typical of someone backpedalling — was quoted in ST explaining the poll: “Our reporters spoke with residents in Punggol East to get their comments and a sense of the ground for our election reports. This was not a full-scale survey, or scientific poll, by any means.”

He also said: “The headline for our story overstated the significance of the information gathered by calling it a poll. We are sorry for this lapse.”

But he is obviously not sorry for the fact that his reporters — carrying out their work under the Gold Standard of Journalism banner — are obviously doing shoddy work.

Check out what the ST report said:

“While 21 of those polled say they are undecided, those rooting for the People’s Action Party outnumbered opposition supporters 19 to 10,” said the report.

“The edge that the ruling party appears to hold may be a reflection of the incumbency advantage it has always held in a middle class, traditonally PAP-leading ward,” it continued.

Seriously, what kind of shitty reporting is this in the first place? How the fuck do you draw such conclusions from 50 people, who were in all likelihood, polled when they were eating yong tau foo or waiting for the bus or scratching their balls when they set upon by the reporters who wanted an opinion?

For deriving a point out of thin air, the reporters deserve to be shot. And then quartered. And broken on the wheel. And fed to the crows.

And when the crows fly away, the crows deserve to be shot.

Moreover, it must be remembered that in a previous case in late 2011, a certain Joseph Ong Chor Teck conducted an unscientific exit poll on the then-Temasek Review Facebook page.

He was promptly arrested. And his photo was splashed big big on the newspaper. And he already looked guilty before trial.

Joseph Ong Chor Teck was arrested on Sept. 3 for conducting an exit poll on Facebook.

Warren Fernandez never took his PSLE

Warren Fernandez never took his PSLE

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ST Editor replaces Sumiko Tan for Sunday’s most banal commentary.


When Warren was young, his father told him to study hard. Otherwise he might end up as a bus driver. And he would be jailed in the recent bus strikes. Even though he’s not from China.

But he grew out of it, and decided to become a pilot.

Yet he couldn’t remember how he did for the PSLE.

He says: “I simply cannot remember how I did in the PSLEā€¦. Try as I may to rack my brain, it just does not come.” (“It just does not come“???)

Because he probably didn’t take it.

But he got into SJI anyway, despite being a football-playing non-nerd.

He blames the national anxiety over the PSLE today on the through train programme. Because if you don’t get on the train, you will lose out in Secondary School, and don’t get into a good Junior College.

And become a bus driver, instead of an ST editor.

He thinks that the PSLE serves as a “leveller”. If there is no PSLE, parents would be unable to benchmark schools, and less branded schools would be unable to shine against branded schools.

Because neighbourhood schools are obviously able to show, from their students’ PSLE scores, that they are as good as the Bukit Timah schools.

MOE cannot keep the PSLE scores a secret, because that would lead to a lot of speculation online. And lots of speculation online means people take the PSLE seriously.

Warren’s solution to PSLE fetishism: MOE should embark on a national conversation with parents, and convincing them that PSLE is not that important.

Because if you don’t take your PSLE, you can still get a 2/3 page column in the national broadsheet, tell the MOE what to do, and tell yourself that it is cutting edge commentary.

In other related news, Sumiko Tan tries her hand at hard news.

Hawker to auction off Bak Chor Mee with Tur Kwa for charity

Hawker to auction off Bak Chor Mee with Tur Kwa for charity

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Regular bowls of Bak Chor Mee without Tur Kwa to be given to poorer customers for free.

Siow siow Bak Chor Mee with Tur Kwa up for charity auction.

In a bid to ensure that the underprivileged do not go hungry in his Toa Payoh neighbourhood, a hawker is starting a one-of-a-kind charity drive.

Yu Yuan Tang, a 40-year-old Bak Chor Mee seller, is raising money by getting his customers to bid for bowls of his specialty minced meat noodles in an auction.

The catch and main draw to ensure his charity auction is palatable?

The bowls of minced meat noodles put up for bidding will not be the regular run-of-the-mill kind.

Instead, Yu is offering a mouth-watering Bak Chor Mee concoction that comes with generous servings of Tur Kwa, a.k.a. pig liver, and customers will have to bid for it if they want to eat it.

Yu, dispelling notions that he is profiting from this exercise, said: “My supplier gives me fresh Tur Kwa once in a while for free. I thought it will be a good idea to make my customers bid for it instead of giving it to them without cost. I can then use the proceeds for a charitable cause.”

He added: “And to make sure customers bid more for the Bak Chor Mee with Tur Kwa, I will remind them they are doing this to help poor people. Win-win situation for all.”

The plan, as it turns out, is for Yu to pocket the money raised from the auction.

In return, he will buy the Bak Chor Mee without Tur Kwa from his own stall and give them out for free to poorer customers, after conducting means-testing.

Asked if he is afraid that there will be public backlash given the pseudo-charitable nature of this scheme, Yu said confidently: “I recently read that The Straits Times editor Warren Fernandez is doing something similar. They take a free car, put it up for auction and then say they’re using the money to buy ST newspapers for the poor. I heard the response online is very good so far as the campaign is going viral.”

He continued: “In fact, I came up with this concept first. I wonder if he might have stolen it from me because I thought I might have seen Warren walked past the other day during lunch time.”

“Also, I mean, come on, it’s not as if I have the cheek to give out gold bars to my regular customers at the expense of the poor and so I got not enough money left to do charity, right?”

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