Tag Archive | "unsafe driving"

Punish lousy drivers by reading ST aloud

Punish lousy drivers by reading ST aloud

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More punishments, enforcement proposed, after Law Minister K Shanmugam posts about his crappy driving experience.

Law and Foreign Affairs Minister K Shanmugam went on Facebook on Aug. 20 and wrote about how driving in Singapore sucks:

And it becomes news…

… despite how complaining about Singapore’s drivers is what everyone who drives and who has Facebook does.

Regardless, a few measures are currently being considered for implementation to reduce errant drivers — without resorting to shooting them with sniper fire, which we should but we can’t, because it will reflect badly in the annual UN Human Rights Report.

Therefore, the most basic punishment meted out to first-time offenders of bad driving: They will have their vehicles confiscated.

In return, they will be given a low-cost Brompton bicycle instead to enable them to still travel around.

This is primarily to teach bad drivers the perils of being a cyclist and make them experience what it’s like to be a hair width away from sniffing the wheels of an SBS bus and certain, timely death.

Other punishments currently being considered include making errant drivers do line dancing and featuring them in next year’s National Day Parade theme song video.

This punishment is actually being considered to be implemented across the board for any sort of crime as it is effective as a sentence to deter everything from rape to robbery.

This is because no one in their right mind wants to be seen line dancing in public.

However, the most severe punishment of all is to make really bad drivers read The Straits Times aloud.

Close to 70 percent of regular, everyday people who do so die of boredom without making past page one and the remaining 30 percent develop cancer of some sort.

And this group would choose to die with more dignity by committing suicide, which is an ideal scenario, as all problems in Singapore stems from overpopulation.

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