Tag Archive | "The New Paper"

S’poreans alert The New Paper’s Melvin Singh to phallic hopscotch at Marina Square

S’poreans alert The New Paper’s Melvin Singh to phallic hopscotch at Marina Square

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They cannot wait for him to write a lengthy opinion piece about how it harms his virginal eyes.

Photo stolen from Royston Boh

Photo stolen from Royston Boh

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who do not see dirty things everywhere they look and think that it harms their virgin eyes, have alerted Melvin Singh from The New Paper to a phallic hopscotch at Marina Square’s SG50 exhibition.

This after Melvin Singh wrote about how he is able to see offensive things and this would instigate bullying, which is ultimately the victim’s fault because people are generally idiots.

One Singaporean, Ji Kee Lan, said they hope this phallic hopscotch shape can inspire more Pulitzer Prize-winning articles from TNP’s Melvin Singh: “I’m sure if Melvin Singh saw this, he can write a 3,000-word column saying that the phallic hopscotch will make people offended and then link it to racial riots and racism.”

Other Singaporeans said Melvin Singh will probably be able to use this offensive phallic hopscotch shape to talk about how there is a need to be careful about harassment, as this image can penetrate one’s consciousness and life, and make people angry.

Another local, Ngerng Liap Kiew, said: “I look forward to reading Melvin Singh’s piece in The New Paper talking about how this phallic-shaped hopscotch will lead to paedophilia and rape, and Singapore’s return to the Malaysia Federation.”

“I also hope to see how he can link this to the fortifying of opposition’s position in Singapore, which leads to this country’s downfall, and ultimately, this phallic hopscotch is most likely Chee Soon Juan and SDP’s fault.”

“And when PAP loses more seats in parliament, he can link back to this phallic hopscotch also.”

At press time, Singaporeans wait with bated breath for Melvin Singh to completely lose his shit.

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans react to The New Paper opinion piece blaming bullying victim for instigating situation

S’poreans react to The New Paper opinion piece blaming bullying victim for instigating situation

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Three thoughts that must have went past your mind at some point.

melvin-singh-is-an-idiot

The New Paper published an opinion piece in the aftermath of the recent bullying incident on the MRT train by putting the blame on the victim.

The article, written by Melvin Singh (pictured above right), said wearing a t-shirt that read “I’m F***ing Special” was tantamount to instigating the bully to behave in a threatening manner.

Here are three thoughts Singaporeans have:

 

sian-half-auntie “No wonder he is the editor of The New Paper.”
Kum Gong Kia, 45-year-old teacher

 

sian-half-uncle “It’s really hard to fault his logic. Especially when there’s none.”
Boh Tao Nao, 61-year-old ex-property agent

 

happy-bird-girl “Given enough column inches, he should be able to extend his thesis and defend Hitler.”
Dai Jiao, 17-year-old history buff

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





Guy pulls someone out of burning car after accident

Guy pulls someone out of burning car after accident

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While The New Paper camera man use eye power to help in rescue efforts.

Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying levels of Good Samaritanism are thanking The New Paper camera man.

This after TNP’s camera man use his eye power to help rescue someone from a burning car after it collided on the road.

These are the photos from TNP’s camera man:

1. Sees someone pulling someone else out of car
car-fire-01

2. Continues to hold camera steady
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3. Still holding on to camera without too much jerking
car-fire-03

4. Ok still cannot put camera down because must see where the fainted guy end up at
car-fire-04

5. Ok still cannot put camera down since it is digital can take multiple shots also won’t run out of film
car-fire-05

A round of applause for TNP camera man who put his life on the line to continue to take photos.

The New Paper turns mother into compulsive gambler

The New Paper turns mother into compulsive gambler

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She buys TNP just to win money like in a lottery, but TNP draw is unregulated by the government.

tnp-gambler

 
 

A mother of two has been turned into a compulsive gambler by The New Paper.

This after she publicly admitted to buying The New Paper every day just to stand a chance to win a cash prize in a lottery-styled draw.

She had won $4,500 the day before.

This is similar to playing the lottery, except it is not regulated by the government.

“I now buy TNP every day just for the contest,” she told the tabloid with a laugh.

And this is something City Harvesters should be praying against rather than trying to conquer the pop world.

The New Paper lives up to Yaccob Ibrahim’s standard

The New Paper lives up to Yaccob Ibrahim’s standard

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Singaporeans praise TNP for letting them read the right things.

serina-wee-tnp

Singaporeans from all walks of life and with varying levels of literacy, have heaped praise upon The New Paper.

This after TNP published highly informative and nation-building articles about Serina Wee, alongside a lot of her pictures.

One Singaporean, Tak Poh Zhuar, said: “Yes, this lives up to the factual, credible and nation-building ethos that Minister of Communications and Information Yaacob Ibrahim talked about, when he said he wanted us to read the right things.”

Other Singaporeans, who are equally impressed, said the mermaid on the front cover makes TNP even more credible than all online media sites.

Mei Ren Yu, a local, said: “The mermaid is by far the most important news. What would I do if I didn’t know about this story?”

TNP bows to public scrutiny, makes rare clarification

TNP bows to public scrutiny, makes rare clarification

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Citizens hope to apply same tactic on CPF board, Singapore reserves.

This photo has caused a stir online since 2011.

This photo has caused a stir online since 2011.

Under intense public scrutiny, The New Paper has made the rare decision to counter online speculation regarding the authenticity of a photo about cyclists belonging to them.

TNP’s reply was directed at a wildly inaccurate article published by New Nation yesterday that cast aspersions on the authenticity of a photo showing cyclists doing random crazy shit on the road that was featured in MyPaper on May 6, 2013.

The photo originally belonged to TNP and speculation has been rife since 2011 about whether it was doctored when it first surfaced.

And to prove that it was not doctored, TNP published a series of photos in response showing that the published photo occurred as it happened.

Far from being a case of wrongful accusation, this incident has emboldened citizens.

Self-styled political pundit Eric de Yaya, said: “Imagine if enough people ask questions about CPF monies or the size of Singapore’s reserves.”

“This is a case study of how public scrutiny, even when it is online, can lead to the truth being made known without all that hemming and hawing. And bloodshed.”

Not everyone agrees with this piece. Read the apology instead.

Opposition icon SDP shocked to be featured in TNP

Opposition icon SDP shocked to be featured in TNP

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This is after Fandi is shocked to be featured on SDP website.

tnp-sdp

The New Paper has decided to feature one of Singapore’s most famous opposition political parties – the Singapore Democratic Party – to promote its shit-stirring brand of writing.

This occurred after SDP had recently featured ex-footballers Fandi Ahmad, 50, and Terry Pathmanathan, 57 to promote its pro-Singaporean policies, who said they were shocked to learn that they had been featured on the SDP website.

sdp-fandi

In turn, the SDP said they had no idea they were featured by TNP and are a bit shocked.

An anonymous SDP supporter said: “I’m taken aback TNP is using SDP as an example to (convey) their own shit-stirring message.”

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