Tag Archive | "tan cheng bock"

Malay family adopts Tan Cheng Bock, steamrolls path to Elected Presidency

Malay family adopts Tan Cheng Bock, steamrolls path to Elected Presidency

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Loophole in Elected Presidency criteria found.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, from all races and religions, are clapping their hands and praising their respective gods.

This after Tan Cheng Bock got adopted by a Malay family, effectively throwing wide open the race to the next Elected Presidency in Singapore.

One Singaporean, Fu Mu Qing, said: “As the next Elected Presidency due next year is reserved for a Malay candidate, this turn of events has thrown up a viable candidate at long last.”

“It is too late for Parliament to pass any laws to patch this loophole now.”

“Looking forward to another President Tan in office.”

However, other Singaporeans are sceptical this move will be considered acceptable by locals by and large.

Another local, Yin Leow, said: “I have my doubts as to whether another President Tan is palatable and Singaporeans of all races can handle it.”

“Because in our minds, the only person who can be our president and prime minister is still Tharman Shanmugaratnam.”

At press time, thousands upon thousands of Chinese families in Singapore are looking into adopting Tharman.







Tan Cheng Bock’s path to elected presidency starts with matchmaking him with Malay woman

Tan Cheng Bock’s path to elected presidency starts with matchmaking him with Malay woman

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This is step one.


Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to take the initiative, are going to play matchmaker to Tan Cheng Bock and a Malay woman.

This after it is clear that the next Elected President vacancy is going to be reserved for a Malay candidate.

One Singaporean, Ma Lai Ren, who is going to do the matchmaking, said: “Matchmaking Tan Cheng Bock with a Malay woman is step one.”

“Step two is to ensure that his IC does not state that he is Chinese anymore.”

“This is the audacity of hope. We wouldn’t know unless we try.”

Other locals said going the distance in such a manner will prove one’s sincerity to the public that one is willing and able to serve by any means necessary.

Another local, Gao Yin, said: “Only this sort of thing can happen in Singapore. Because rules change overnight, people are forced to adapt quickly.”

“But it does show that anything and everything is possible.”

“It’s a positive message.”

At press time, Singaporeans are thinking of ways to make Tharman Shanmugaratnam Chinese so that he can be prime minister.







Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock not part of pioneer generation

Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock not part of pioneer generation

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That’s why he was uninvited from Istana party.


Ex-presidential hopeful Tan Cheng Bock was uninvited from this year’s Chinese New Year Garden Party at the Istana because he is not recognised to be part of Singapore’s pioneer generation.

However, some 1,500 other old Singaporeans who belong to the country’s pioneer generation will be recognised at a tribute party on Sunday at the Istana, it has been announced.

And one of the seniors invited is 75-year-old Hooi Kok Wai, who is known to many Singaporeans as the man who developed the popular raw fish salad “yu sheng”.

One Singaporean, Zhuo Zhong Tong, said: “Tan Cheng Bock was only a doctor. That doesn’t compare to being a chef. He should have just invented a new food if he really wanted to be recognised for his role in nation-building.”

Tan Cheng Bock makes dubious claim about ministerial pension

Tan Cheng Bock makes dubious claim about ministerial pension

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Did he inevitably put his foot in his mouth?

Uh oh. Seems like we have another case of major foot-in-mouth moment for the PAP.

Ex-presidential candidate and former PAP all-white Tan Cheng Bock made a sensational but dubious claim in a Facebook post on Jan. 12.

The runner-up president essentially said that “all office holders (in parliament) were required to switch from pension to CPF in 1998″ and ” in 2008… the Pension component was re-introduced”.

But this, if snooping Facebook users are correct, is misleading, if not utterly and stupendously wrong.

Here is what the popularly regarded Super Moderate wrote on his Facebook:

“Annual Reporting of Ministerial Salaries. When I was in parliament (1980-2006) I was under the impression that Ministers did not get any Pension because all office holders were required to switch from pension to CPF in 1998. Imagine my surprise when I read in the newspaper (5 Jan 2012,ST) that in 2008, two years after l left parliament, the Pension component was re- introduced and this resulted in a further increase in salaries for Ministers. This Pension component, which caused a lot of anger, is now removed. I am glad that this is being done. However, such a trend of changing policies mid stream is not good. Singaporeans want more transparency. To be transparent, an annual report of ministerial salaries must be published.”

This post was later shared by TheOnlineCitizen’s FB page on Jan. 16 .

However, in a Facebook post reply on Jan. 16, YPAP wrote:

“Tan Cheng Bock is mistaken. There was never any requirement in 1998 for office holders to switch to CPF. The white paper on salaries was introduced In 1994 and it clearly stated the basis for ministerial and civil service salaries. The paper explicitly mentioned having pensions for office-holders. This policy has been maintained till now, with Gerard Ee’s committee recommending to do away with pensions. So there is no “midstream” change in policy as construed by TCB”.

So here’s the major beef:

1. What gave Cheng Bock The-Man-Who-Sought-And-Received-Free-Sunday-Parking-For-Mankind the idea that “all office holders were required to switch from pension to CPF in 1998″? Which Act was he referring to? Or more specifically, what is he smoking?

2. Since Cheng Bock The Kindhearted Doctor served from 1980 to 2006 – a total of 26 years – he is eligible for pension and should be receiving his pension now. So why is he under the impression that “all office holders were required to switch from pension to CPF in 1998″?

3. The Straits Times article on Jan. 5 that Cheng Bock cited is: “Ministerial salary (MR4) benchmark and actual salaries for past year“.

The footnote under the graph reads: “The percentages represent actual salaries as a percentage of benchmark. The Practice of taking into account the value of pension as part of a minister’s total pay when comparisons are made with the private sector benchmarks began only in 2008.”

Therefore, nowhere does it state what Cheng Bock said: “in 2008… the Pension component was re-introduced”.

4) Should Cheng Bock not clarify now if he was right in claiming that the pension component was re-introduced in 2008?

5) So, if he is eligible for pension and is receiving it, how can he not know? Too much ukulele?

6) Hey! Where the hell did that original Facebook post with Cheng Bock’s claim go to?

This matter was originally raised by Fabrications About The PAP. (Click on photo below for their penetrative questioning.)

President Tan spent less on campaign than Tan Cheng Bock

President Tan spent less on campaign than Tan Cheng Bock

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$80,000 to be exact, which is the equivalent of 25,000 plates of chicken rice.

By Terence Lee

Hey big spender! Photo: Tan Ding Xiang

Now here’s a shocker: President Tony Tan, who drives around in a stylish Mercedes Benz and earned his millions as former deputy prime minister, actually spent $80,000 less than runner-up Dr Tan Cheng Bock, a real-life doctor and former Member-of-Parliament.

The Elections Department released the Presidential Campaign expense details yesterday. For those with goldfish memory (including me), Dr Tan lost by a heartbreaking 0.34 percent of the popular vote. Many of my friends — the youngish twenty-somethings — voted for him because he was seen as a moderate.

Here’s the final tally: Tan Cheng Bock — $585,045.03, Tony Tan — $503,070, Tan Jee Say — $162,337, and Tan Kin Lian — $70,912.16.

The surprises end there.

While Cheng Bock spent more money on the campaign, it was obvious that he faced tremendous odds — Tony Tan was the favorite to win right from the start and he had massive support from the older generation and PAP die-hards. Read the full story

Presidential results: PAP-endorsed candidates garnered 70% of votes

Presidential results: PAP-endorsed candidates garnered 70% of votes

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3 ways you can report the facts.

By Fang Shihan

White Tans - 3 ways

So quite obviously 65% of the population is not happy with the way things panned out for Dr Tan Cheng Bock and opposition-meister Tan Jee Say. To the extent that newly elected President Dr. Tony Tan had to assure voters that he would strive to win over the two thirds of the electorate who did not vote for him. Shades of Sitoh Yih Pin no?

The mainstream media has been surprisingly tepid on the win. Then again, with former PAP-MPs garnering 70% of the votes, of course there would be room to spare for some negativity, just to balance out the overwhelming victory by the establishment.

But just for the fun of it, New Nation has come up with at least 3 different ways you could possibly spin the news. Enjoy.

Headline: 70% of Singaporeans vote for former PAP MPs
Standfirst: Tony Tan wins with 35.2% of vote while Tan Cheng Bock garners 34.8%.

The ruling party received a resounding stamp of approval from the electorate as both former PAP MPs Tony Tan and Tan Cheng Bock were the top performers during the presidential elections. Opposition-endorsed Tan Jee Say trailed in third place with 25% of the vote or about 10% less than the runner up. Tan Kin Lian, who led the minibonds protests in 2008 lost his $48,000 deposit after getting only 4.9% of the votes.

Headline: Tony Tan wins by razor thin margin; poor showing for the PAP
Standfirst: PAP-endorsed Tony Tan is ushered into the presidential post, winning by a margin of 0.34% against runner up.

The ruling party was delivered a wakeup call as Dr. Tony Tan, widely endorsed by the PAP, unions and government-affiliated organizations, sat through a recount in the wee hours of the morning. Once considered a shoo-in, the performance of Dr. Tony Tan was considered by many analysts as a barometer of the ruling party’s popularity among the people. Despite having been deputy prime minister, and the executive director of sovereign wealth fund, GIC, Dr. Tony Tan nearly lost to previously little-known MP Dr. Tan Cheng Bock who runs a clinic in Jurong. The former was campaigning on a platform of reform and was widely considered as a non yes-man within the party. Combined with opposition-endorsed candidate Tan Jee Say, the non-PAP vote stood at 59.8%.

Read this better and more xia lan version.

Headline: PAP candidate Dr. Tony Tan wins via split opposition vote
Standfirst: Opposition is blamed for splitting the anti-PAP vote, and installing the PAP into the presidential seat.

Two thirds of the electorate did not want a PAP-endorsed candidate as President. Yet Dr Tony Tan had the keys of the Istana handed to him with only 7,269 more votes than his nearest rival. Netizens blamed Temasek Review, Nicole Seah and the NSP for fracturing the opposition vote by endorsing Tan Jee Say and inadvertently handing victory to the PAP on a platter.

Read Temasek Review — which was down at the time of publication — for a better blamefest.

We <3 Yam Ah Mee!

We <3 Yam Ah Mee!

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Singapore has elected a new president in the form of Tony Tan…

Singapore has elected a new president in the form of Tony Tan…

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…which 65% of the voting population didn’t vote for. Funny, no?

By Belmont Lay

Ok, so now that the presidential election is over and done with, what can we analyse at 6 a.m. in the morning?

Yes, the first-past-the-post election system is something we inherited. Yes, it is a system that baffles anyone who has ever questioned what sort of swivelling-eyed idiot came up with this idea of democracy where you can be a winner even when the majority of the population didn’t even vote for you.

No, fortunately, this article will not be about that. This article will be about four finer points. Here they are:

1. Is this presidential election a referendum on the PAP?

Well, there has been a lot of articles banging on about this point.

From what I’ve read so far, even the chairman of the Singapore Management University board of trustees warned that the presidential election should never degenerate into that sort of thing where voters cast a protest vote against the incumbent just because they want to prove a point about how unhappy they are.

However, either I’m a little thick or I’m a little stoned at this hour, but I think there is no need to read into whether Tony Tan’s 35 percent victory is a sign that PAP is losing its grip on power.

And I don’t care if the 500,000-member unions endorsed Tony Tan or if he secured the blessings from the prime minister, because it is no use insinuating that Tony Tan must win by a convincing margin or else it is a sign that the PAP is going to be finished pretty soon.

Look, the political structure of this country has created such a system whereby the two top-performing candidates were formerly part of the ruling party complex.

The fact of the matter is, going by the results of Tony Tan and Tan Cheng Bock, they secured 70% of votes between them. Remember, both of them used to wear white? Yes, this is the kind of candidates that appeal to the people of Singapore. The number of spoilt votes is surprisingly low.

And this is also really a matter of whether you’re seeing a cup that is half-full or half-empty.

So if you’re feeling optimistic that 35 percent of votes for Tony represents the beginning of the rot for the PAP, I’m telling you, you shouldn’t.

2.Did people vote according to political inclination?

Sure looks like it.

Tan Jee Say, an ex-civil servant and former opposition politician who did ride on a more rebellious wave compared to docile Tony and agreeable Cheng Bock, made a dent by registering 25 percent of the votes.

And by displaying a bit of hubris, Tan Kin Lian received 5 percent of votes from the deluded segment of this country too. And he was made $48,000 poorer. (Hey, we saw that coming, didn’t we?)

But the point is: If you put a cactus or a donkey up for election on an opposition ticket (perceived or actual, regardless), the likelihood is that the cactus or the donkey will still receive about 30 percent of votes because there will be a segment voting for the opposition no matter what.

(This was said by Nanyang Technological University associate professor Cherian George before and I’m just reiterating.)

Yes, if you consider the electorate as voting according to political inclination, I think the presidential election results only serves to strengthen the case.

All these talk about what the candidates stand for and what they hope to achieve have probably been played up a tad too much. The Singaporean world-view is still white or non-white.

Tony and Cheng Bock caters to the majority and both choices graduated from having sat in parliament in all-whites. That’s something to think about.

3. Do Singaporeans prefer moderate candidates?

Which brings me to this next point, the answer is a resounding “Hell yes”.

In my mind, there is no doubt that Tan Cheng Bock is an ultra moderate. He comes off as a harmless, happy-clappy, esteemed and genuine do-gooder, who is annoyingly overly earnest and well-meaning.

And the only nasty thing he has ever done was to stay up all night way past his bed time – by the time this morning’s recount was over.

Therefore, based on what this presidential election has revealed, I have this theory: The only way any political party can usurp PAP’s throne is to form an even more conservative, straight-laced, future-oriented and uber moderate party that will promise to deliver whatever the PAP can for the moral majority. And then some.

Mmmm… Sounds like the Workers’ Party for some strange reason…

4. Tan Jee Say played his cards really well

I don’t think Jee Say was ever in this fight to win it.

He just gave people that choice to cast the vote that would never go to Tony or Cheng Bock. No, no, Kin Lian just won’t do. That guy weirds people out.

I mentioned before that he managed to capture the imagination of the electorate? This is precisely what I meant: What would it be like if someone from the opposition camp ever ran for president?

He did just that. Will this bode well for future contests in any election? Definitely. This presidential election should be seen as the start of Jee Say’s political career. And it couldn’t have taken off in a more visible way.

Lastly, what about Tony Tan’s mandate of the people? He sure as hell didn’t get the approval of the majority of people.

Will his six years in office be riddled with people snubbing him? That would be pretty interesting to find out, no?

Which is why, we here at New Nation, will be keeping our eyes peeled.

Survey: Toilet patrons don’t like Tony Tan

Survey: Toilet patrons don’t like Tony Tan

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Nicole Seah, Jenna Jameson, Doraemon and Tan Jee Say equally popular.

Doodle Doodle

He had his eyes crossed out in one, and a stache drawn on the other. Tony Tan may be the top candidate for President – according to the toilet uncle scrubbing the floor as New Nation was putting the board up – but he’s also a favourite target for toilet doodlers.

A few weeks ago, we put up sheets of paper in two toilet cubicles at Arbite restaurant asking patrons to write down which Presidential candidates they would like to date if given the chance.

The only other candidate who got a response was Tan Jee Say – “Tan Jee say coz he said he wants to spend 60 billion of out money. Might as well get some back.”

Most other comments went along the lines of “whoever’s giving me a big treat”, “the richest one lah of course! He’ll pay for EVERYTHING!!! =D” or “you got to be joking, with $4 million an annum salary THEY should bring the whole of Singapore to Arbite for dinner!”

Eh hm. So who said that political dissent was only confined to the online lunatic fringe? You’ve got to take into account the toilet-going fringe as well.

Either way, it seems like there really is no front runner this time. Going by this micro-survey alone, Tony Tan will be the candidate to divide the nation – you either love him, or you want to deface him. Tan Jee Say will be riding on the post-GE opposition sentiment while Tan Cheng Bock may just win as everyone else votes in the most unoffensive candidate. Tan Kin Lian unfortunately, seems to have been ignored both online and offline and may just lose his deposit.

This week’s topic: Who would you bring out on a hot date to arbite?

Of 6 female respondents, 5 females abstained from choosing a pre-selected candidate, 1 picked Nicole Seah, 1 picked Tan Jee Say
All 5 male respondents abstained from choosing, 1 picked porn star Jenna Jameson and another drew a Doraemon.
There were 34 ticks/crosses on the female board, surrounding the pictures of the candidates. Tan Kin Lian strangely had none.

What’s Toilet Talk: Every now and then when we feel like there’s a topic worth discussing, we stick up an A2 sized paper on the toilet walls of a restaurant. With a set of markers conveniently placed next to the toilet bowl, we invited toilet patrons to scrawl their topics on the issue at hand – total offline anonymity. Check out a previous one we did!

Tan Cheng Bock, the super moderate

Tan Cheng Bock, the super moderate

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Psst… Got 30 seconds? Here’s everything you need to know about Tan Cheng Bock’s indoor rally.

Tan Cheng Bock has a special talent.

He appeals to anyone who doesn’t care about or who isn’t motivated by higher order, sexy issues such as freedom of speech, social justice for ex-political detainees, gay rights, abolishment of the death penalty, democracy, human rights, right to assembly and the like.

If you want someone who is perceived to be prim and proper, ultra-practical, docile, do-gooder, not prone to boat-rocking, open-book, straight as a flag pole, cleaned, cut and shaved like the protagonist in a Channel 8 drama series, damn it, then Tan Cheng Bock is your only hope as president.

The indoor rally at Singapore Expo on Aug. 25 featured children, friends, colleagues and ex-patients who provided nothing but kind anecdotes of Cheng Bock the village doctor who gets paid in kind, Cheng Bock the selfless giver of his time, Cheng Bock the altruistic good Samaritan, Cheng Bock the harmonious, pro-assimilation multiculturalist, Cheng Bock the healer of all men, Cheng Bock the far-sighted prophet who sought and received free parking on Sundays, Cheng Bock the grassroots leader, Cheng Bock the unifier, Cheng Bock the synonym for independence…

At that rate, it could have been Cheng Bock who just walked out of The New Testament.

However, Christ he isn’t, as he couldn’t resist taking a pot shot at our dear Tony Tan.

Cheng Bock said Tony shouldn’t have painted an ominous picture of the future what with “dark clouds” ahead and mentioned Tony’s recent resignation from GIC, a sovereign wealth fund that manages a part of our national reserves, as a cheap shot to show that Tony is more an establishment man in comparison.

Cheng Bock also mentioned his position as chairman of Chuan Hup Holdings, his role in saving it from financial crises and turned it from a marine equipment company to an investments holding company. Sort of like a ‘mini-Temasek Holdings’, if you wish.

He is also pretty proud of the fact that ING Asia bank asked him to be a director in 2008.

So will he win?


Looking spiffy, Jee Say

Looking spiffy, Jee Say

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What went down at Tan Jee Say’s Toa Payoh rally last night? Read it here in two minutes.

By Belmont Lay

So what does Jee Say hope to be as Singapore president?

He wants to change the direction of the presidency to reflect what people aspire it to be.

Simply because people want a president who has the courage to question the Government that is resting on its laurels or trying too hard to maintain the status quo.

He says, “The government of today is not the government our parents entrusted their lives and families to in the decades past.”

“This government needs to be challenged and checked if we do not want them to be complacent”.

I think this is needed and has more value for money because a president shouldn’t be paid a lot every year to walk around East Coast Park for as long as he likes.

Tan Jee Say also defended his career record. He says it is “not uncommon” for people in the financial sector to explore other job offers and move within the sector. He attained his goals during his time at one job and simply moved on.

I think that is acceptable. Because only people in elected office get to change job titles while staying still. Like Goh Chok Tong. From Senior Minister to Emeritus Shemeritus. Or His Leeness, from Senior Minister to Minister Mentor.

And so what if Tony Tan had ex-talking head Sharon Au as a speaker at his lunch time rally? Jee Say had the golden voice and ex-deejay Petrina Kow as emcee.

Petrina even hosted a 30-minute Q&A segment towards the end of Jee Say’s rally.

And what were the other high points last night? Rally speakers took pot shots at Tony Tan.

SDP’s Vincent Wijeysingha said, “I will not vote for those who defend the right of the government to hide information about GIC from us”.

Here’s a factoid: Tony Tan was executive director and deputy chairman of GIC from 2005 to July this year, when he had no choice but to quit because he wanted a raise (and more time for slow walks, perhaps) – he wanted the job as this Republic’s president.

Another factoid: GIC is a sovereign wealth fund that manages a part of our national reserves (and some of its investments did go tits up at least once during Tony’s time there).

Another speaker, Professor Paul Tambyah, senior consultant in infectious diseases, attested that Jee Say “is not the kind of person who will interrupt somebody in the middle of a response”.

This is alluding to Tony, who besides looking overly cautious a good part of the time and unable to muster a firm handshake with plebeians during others, still managed to pull together some opportunism to cut Jee Say off mid-sentence during The Online Citizen forum.

Lastly, Jee Say was decked out in a sharp suit for the night. His entire entourage was in formal wear.

Verdict? Jee Say earns brownie points gunning for style despite the sweltering heat and humidity to convey a sense of gravitas.

The Q&A segment, besides providing a glimpse into in life, also softened his image since he has been lambasted for being a tad rambunctious and confrontational.

Most importantly? Tan Jee Say comes off looking like he has a personality.

Unlike Tan Cheng Bock, for example.

2011 presidential elections: If you had to pick one…

2011 presidential elections: If you had to pick one…

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One Tan in a bowl of four – can’t have them all, can’t have none.

By Fang Shihan

You don’t have to cast your vote at complete random, nor do you have to waste precious time and resources trawling through the Straits Times or Temasek Review to decide on who to hate the least.

Here’s a 5 min condensation of who’s who, who’s done what and who’s offended which section of the country.

You can thank us later. :)

 Tony Tan (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: Insing.com

In short: The candidate with the most illustrious career, the longtime patron of brylcreem had previously served as 1) Deputy prime minister, 2) Chairman and CEO of Overseas-Chinese Banking Corporation (OCBC), 3) Chairman of state-controlled Singapore Press Holdings, 4) Executive director of Government Investment Corporation, which invests your CPF money. He’s currently on leave of absence from his role as Chairman of National Research Foundation, a department under the Prime Minister’s Office which funds research and development efforts and increasingly, startups.

Fans say: He’s had the most bling career of the lot and having worked inside and out of the government all his life, he’s more than capable to being head-of-state.

Haters say: He’s a PAP goondu without an opinion of his own. His son also enjoyed a 12-year disruption from National Service which incited loud boo-ing from a vocal group during his nomination day speech.

 Tan Kin Lian (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: ChannelNewsAsia

In short: The former NTUC Income chief shot to fame in 2008 when he led a protest against the government’s handling of Lehman-linked failed investments during the financial crisis. He now provides consultancy services to new and existing insurance companies operating outside Singapore. He promises to be an influential president and promises (among many other promises) more compensation for men who have served in the army.

Fans say: He knows the government well enough and can provide constructive criticism, particular with regards to financial steering.

Haters say: His premature presidential campaign in 2008 failed massively when he asked for 100,000 signatures but managed about 3,000. The president technically can’t do much, so he may not be able to deliver on all those wonderful things promised.

 Tan Jee Say (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: xinmsn

In short: Also another formerly PAP-affiliated man, the investment advisor graduated from Oxford and served as Principal Private Secretary to then Deputy Prime Minister, Goh Chok Tong. His political career began early this year when he contested in the General Elections under the Singapore Democratic Party in Holland-Bukit Timah GRC, losing to the ruling party with slightly less than 40% of the votes. He’s since resigned from the party. He promises to take a humble $500,000/yr salary ($41,666/mth) if elected.

Fans say: He’s got an economic plan for Singapore, plus he’s endorsed by Nicole Seah.

Haters say: He’s an SDP quack and quit the Goh Chok Tong administration because he wasn’t competent enough and couldn’t get promoted.

Tan Cheng Bock (full CV: click here)

Courtesy: ChannelNewsAsia

In short: The former kampung doctor who now owns a clinic in Jurong also served as the non-executive chairman of Chuan Hup holdings, a marine logistics company and was appointed Chairman of the government Feedback Unit in 1984. Like other PAP MPs, he’s held a range of non-major positions in various government and government-linked sectors but has surreptitiously avoided slamming by then anti-establishment fringe.

Fans say: He epitomizes the good doctor and is of sound moral standing.

Haters say: He has limited financial knowledge and is the least capable of the four to be President.


The editors chime in…

Shihan’s pick: Tan Cheng Bock. Because he’s the most harmless of the lot. I’m not a very big fan but least he can’t screw up the country.

Terence’s pick: Tan Cheng Bock. Because he can unite the PAP and the opposition. And Tan Kin Lian’s just weird.

Belmont’s pick: Tan Jee Say. Because we’re popping bottles in the ice, like a blizzard. And when we drink we do it right getting slizzard, right? And then we’ll be feeling so fly like a Jee Say. Like a Jee Say, like a Jee say…

Toilet Talk: 2011 Presidential Elections

Toilet Talk: 2011 Presidential Elections

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Comments, vandals, artists all welcome!

It’s back! Outhouse honesty is not one to be trifled with!

This time we’re looking for opinions about the 2011 Presidential elections, due to happen in 10 days time.

Two noticeboards have been pasted up in the same location:

Arbite, 66A Serangoon Garden Way

TOPIC: Who would you bring on a date to arbite?

Go check it out and erm…have a bite while you’re at it. (The owner’s letting us use his toilet as a social experiment. Be nice).

And if you think it’s weird to visit the cafe just to use the toilet, the deep fried button mushrooms are REALLY GOOD.

Guarantee enough fibre to clear your bowels.

Also check out our first attempt at starting Toilet debates. Guaranteed to be a blast!

Guess what! Obama is more important to Singapore than Nathan

Guess what! Obama is more important to Singapore than Nathan

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3 reasons why the U.S. elections are better than Singapore.

By Fang Shihan

How can you not love this picture of Mizz Bachmann? Courtesy: The Telegraph

Who needs to read about Tan Cheng Bock when you’ve got Michele Bachmann winning the Iowa straw poll with a rock concert in her tent. Yes that’s right, the U.S. presidential elections are like our pasar malams – each candidate moves from state to state during the straw polls, erecting tents. There’s music, carnival, petting zoos, entertainment, food… and of course the policy speeches.

Can you blame the non-crusty generation for following U.S. presidential politics instead of the 4-way conflict on the little red dot?

Still not convinced? Here’s four more reasons why Singapore’s presidential elections are *yawn* really not worth your time:

1) There’s more diversity among the U.S. presidential candidates:

Michele Bachmann: potentially first female president of the United States.

Barack Obama: incumbent and first black president of the United States.

Herman Cain: former pizza chain owner and potentially first black republican president of the United States.

Rick Santorum: potentially first president to be named after an anal fluid.

Jon Huntsman: former U.S. ambassador to China who was caught attending a pro-democracy protest in Beijing.

What a bunch huh. Now check out the candidates we have at home – 4 old men of roughly the same age, exactly the same surname and same race.

2) The U.S. presidential elections doubles up as entertainment:

The elections are due more than a year later. Sure, the U.S. is huge and candidates do need time to travel around to the deep ends of each state. But this also means that their respective media – liberal and republican – are trying their hardest to sustain voter interest in what usually is a very dry speech-delivering process.

Check out Jon Stewart’s coverage of the Iowa straw polls:

And check out Mitt Romney being heckled by a cowboy at the same poll:

In the meantime, we have Tommy Koh here speaking about the elected presidency:

Given 10min of spare time each day, which would you rather watch?

3) The U.S. presidential elections will affect you – the Singapore presidential elections will probably not.

Damn, can hardly tell them apart. Courtesy insing.com

Those who think that the stock market will crash if Michele Bachmann gets elected..Kee chiu!

The U.S. of A is the largest economy in the world and the past week has seen stock markets in Asia flip and flop depending on how the U.S. markets feel like. If the U.S. gets crabs, so does the rest of the world – we’re all in bed together folks.

Technically the president of the united states, being able to influence the faltering world number 1, is the most powerful man in the world. And so he is bloody important even to Singaporeans like you and I. If Citigroup shares fall, so does GIC, and then eventually your CPF.

The Singapore president on the other hand, like a good trophy wife, can look good, say nice things but is ultimately ineffectual until given some reins to control.

So he has veto powers over the foreign exchange reserves and can appoint some people in some positions in the octopus that is the civil service and stat boards. Big deal. The U.S. president is more important than the Singaporean president to Singaporeans. Period.

4) There’s no penalty for the politically apathetic.

If you don’t like any of the candidates, you can choose not to vote. You don’t even need to pay a fine of $50 unless you want to vote again 5 years later. And you probably won’t, if you’re politically apathetic to begin with. Geddit geddit geddit?

But if you don’t keep up with the U.S. presidential elections – which is a far more common conversation topic if you’re a middle class worker having to interact with non-Singaporeans – you’ll run the risk of looking very stupid when everyone else laughs at Rick Santorum’s peach jelly and you don’t know who the heck he is.

Most of all, are your peers going to give you grief if you can’t tell Tan Kin Lian from Tan Jee Say? No. They are however, going to give you the *look* or the *yawn* if you try starting a conversation about why voting for one Tan is better than the other Tan.

Don’t believe me? Try using that as a conversation starter when you pick someone up at a bar.