Tag Archive | "SMRT"

Joo Koon station collision a 624% improvement from SMRT’s 1993 safety record

Joo Koon station collision a 624% improvement from SMRT’s 1993 safety record

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Number of injured people fell from 156 to 25.

joo-koon-collision-mrt



Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can only hear the good news because bad news is created by people from the opposition, are clapping their hands and praising SMRT.

This after the Joo Koon MRT station collision resulted in 25 people being injured, demonstrating that SMRT’s safety record has vastly improved since 1993, when the last train collision occurred and 156 people were hurt.

One Singaporean, Lang Gah, said: “Cutting the injury rate from 156 to 25 is not easy for such a large corporation.”

“This shows a 624 percent decrease in injury rate. This is proof of SMRT’s commitment to improving safety standards.”

“Even though it took 24 years to reduce the number of injuries from 156 to 25, SMRT will continue to try over the next 24 years to reduce the number of injuries through collisions to four.”

Despite SMRT’s obvious success, more measures will be in place to cut down the number of injuries.

One commuter, Jin Zhuay Lang, said: “I have noticed new measures put in place to ensure fewer injuries from train collisions.”

“These days when I take the train during peak hours, I notice there is no room to move about as the cabins are packed to the brim.”

“This is a good safety measure as packed trains ensure commuters there is no open spaces to fall down on in the event the train crashes.”

“Very forward looking.”

 

 





SMRT to make announcements only if trains working properly

SMRT to make announcements only if trains working properly

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The new normal.

mrt-no-announcement



Singaporeans from all walks of life, who know how things work in Singapore, are looking at one another and nodding in comprehension.

This after they noticed SMRT no longer makes announcements publicly when trains are delayed or not working properly.

One Singaporean, Yew Huai Leow, said: “This is so as trains getting delayed or not working properly is the new normal.”

“If there are no announcements, it means the train is confirmed already delayed.”

“If there are announcements, it is to inform commuters that things are going to be different and better because the MRT is working properly as intended, which is becoming rarer these days.”

However, other locals said not having announcements as the new normal is increasingly terrifying.

Another local, Hong Gan Leow, said: “If there are no announcements and it means things are getting worse, then there are no announcements about Singapore getting better.”

“We are going to die.”

 

 





SMRT corporate culture awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

SMRT corporate culture awarded UNESCO World Heritage status

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So old and calcified.

smrt-management



In a surprise move, the United Nations Educational, Scientific, and Cultural Organisation (UNESCO) announced that it will be gazetting the deep-seated cultural issues of SMRT as an internationally significant site of Intangible Cultural Heritage.

This is in recognition of the profound impact SMRT’s ancient and never-changing corporate culture has had on Singapore society in general, as it has been stopping Singaporeans in their tracks to marvel at the state of things.

Speaking on the sidelines of the award ceremony, a spokesperson for UNESCO, Yin Guan Jun, said: “We were frankly amazed by the staunchly unchanging ways of SMRT’s working culture since time immemorial, and we were particularly impressed by the elevation of traditional performance arts, such as taichi and wayang, both of which are integral aspects of SMRT work culture, going beyond mere art forms and turning into a daily way of life.”

“We commend SMRT for cultivating an environment where traditional art forms such as Taichi and Wayang can flourish, and are heartened by the organisation’s efforts to groom new generations of taichi masters and wayang kings, especially at the highest of executive levels.”

Other aspects of SMRT work culture highlighted by UNESCO include the esoteric practice of throwing employees under the bus, a tradition steeped in symbolic meaning for SMRT due to its increasing role as a rail replacement bus service operator.

 

 





SMRT praised for punctuality of trains breaking down

SMRT praised for punctuality of trains breaking down

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Always on time.

north-south-line-break-down

Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to take public transport because cars are for rich people in a car-lite country, are clapping their hands and praising SMRT for its punctuality.

This after the North South Line was disrupted during evening peak hour on June 1, boosting train breakdown punctuality, which comes a week after the Land Transport Authority said train services were more reliable in the first quarter of 2017.

One Singaporean, Huai Leow, said: “There is nothing unpredictable about this system.”

“The breakdowns are happening like clockwork in a disorderly, randomness laden world.”

“The predictability of breakdowns gives everyone a sense of security.”

Other locals said the predictability could work against SMRT’s favour though.

Another local, Luan Luan Huai, said: “Imagine if the trains started to break down unpredictably? What’s going to happen then?”

“I don’t think Singaporeans can deal with that. It will be tough adjusting to not knowing what is going to happen next.”

At press time, Singaporeans are expecting the MRT to break down during peak hour in the evening and again in the morning the next day.

 

 





East-West line delay part of routine breakdown to keep up with improved reliability

East-West line delay part of routine breakdown to keep up with improved reliability

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Routine will ensure ISO 9000 certification soon.

mrt-top-view

The East-West line delays on Jan. 23 evening happened right on cue to cement transport operators’ pledge to improve reliability of train malfunctions, so that they can occur predictably instead of as and when it happens.

The service delay occurred on a Monday evening peak hour after it was announced the past few years that MRT reliability has improved, with breakdowns happening at regular intervals instead of unpredictably.

Train operator SMRT advised commuters at around 7.30pm to expect additional travel time of 25 minutes from Joo Koon towards Clementi.

Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to take public transport because cars are for rich people, said they are glad that transport operators will soon be awarded the ISO 9000 quality management certification for breakdowns as they can orchestrate the exact timing of train faults to within 30 minutes of the scheduled time.

Kuai Dian Huai, a local, said: “The onus is now on all public transport operators to break down more routinely as it is leaving commuters guessing when exactly will the next malfunction happen.”

“Such unpredictable breakdown schedule is taking a toll on commuters.”

“I have no idea when exactly to make plans for alternative transport arrangements as a result.”

Other locals said more can be done to ensure that breakdowns happen.

Another local, Mei Tian Huai, said: “This highly unreliable schedule is making taking the train a hassle.”

“It would be good if one day a year can be set aside where all public transport breaks down at the same time.”

“It will be like The Purge, to get things out of the system.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





SMRT praised for punctuality of train breakdowns

SMRT praised for punctuality of train breakdowns

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Always on time.

smrt-punctual-breakdowns

Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to take public transport because cars are for rich people in a car-lite country, are clapping their hands and praising SMRT for its punctuality.

This after the East-West Line from Joo Koon to Clementi stations towards Pasir Ris was disrupted for two hours during peak hour on Jan. 19, boosting train breakdown punctuality.

One Singaporean, Huai Leow, said: “There is nothing unpredictable about this system.”

“The breakdowns are happening like clockwork in a disorderly, randomness laden world.”

“The predictability of breakdowns gives everyone a sense of security.”

Other locals said the predictability could work against SMRT’s favour though.

Another local, Luan Luan Huai, said: “Imagine if the trains started to break down unpredictably? What’s going to happen then?”

“I don’t think Singaporeans can deal with that. It will be tough adjusting to not knowing what is going to happen next.”

At press time, Singaporeans are expecting the MRT to break down during peak hour in the evening and again in the morning the next day.

 

 

 

 

 

 





MRT line to undergo routine breakdown soon to keep up with improved reliability

MRT line to undergo routine breakdown soon to keep up with improved reliability

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Routine will ensure ISO 9000 certification soon.

mrt-top-view

A MRT line will break down soon right on cue to cement transport operators’ pledge to improve reliability of train malfunctions, so that they can occur predictably instead of as and when it happens.

This will occur any day now after it was announced the past few years that MRT reliability has improved, as breakdowns should be happening at regular intervals instead of unpredictably.

Singaporeans from all walks of life who like to take public transport because cars are for rich people, said they are glad that transport operators will soon be awarded the ISO 9000 quality management certification for breakdowns as they can orchestrate the exact timing of train faults to within 30 minutes of the scheduled time.

Kuai Dian Huai, a local, said: “The onus is now on all public transport operators to break down more routinely as it is leaving commuters guessing when exactly will the next malfunction happen.”

“Such unpredictable breakdown schedule is taking a toll on commuters.”

“I have no idea when exactly to make plans for alternative transport arrangements as a result.”

Other locals said more can be done to ensure that breakdowns happen.

Another local, Mei Tian Huai, said: “This highly unreliable schedule is making taking the train a hassle.”

“It would be good if one day a year can be set aside where all public transport breaks down at the same time.”

“It will be like The Purge, to get things out of the system.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans shocked no MRT train disruption this morning

S’poreans shocked no MRT train disruption this morning

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No train disruption on any given day is abnormal.

mrt-station-circle-line

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to take MRT train because cars are for rich people, said thank you to SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek on Nov. 18, 2016.

This after the MRT train system did not break down this morning as it had experienced a series of MRT and LRT disruptions the last six months.

This led to Singaporeans rejoicing as it is a different way to start the day.

One Singaporean, Jin Gan Ji, said: “We would like to collectively assure that we Singaporeans do not cause the SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek’s trains to break down again. We are very sorry that we did so the previous few years.”

“The SMRT CEO does not have to keep dealing with this kind of thing.”

Other Singaporeans said they are glad a lack of MRT breakdowns is starting to make the news these days.

Another local, Shang Bao Zhi, said: “This means Singapore has progressed to the next level already.”

“But the day has not ended yet, so I’m still keeping my fingers crossed.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





SMRT firing train driver shows CEO serious about taking responsibility for small fry

SMRT firing train driver shows CEO serious about taking responsibility for small fry

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Good to admit he is wrong via his employee.

mrt-train-lemon

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe karma is eventually real and will rear its ugly head, are nodding their heads and clapping their hands in agreement.

This after transport operator SMRT Corp fired the train driver who was involved in a fatal track accident that killed two of his colleagues in March.

One Singaporean, Fu Zhe Ren, said this is a good sign: “SMRT firing its train driver after such an accident shows that the management of the company is willing to come out to take the difficult steps and admit its own employee is wrong.”

“This just shows how healthy the culture is as its CEO is serious about taking responsibility for the small fry.”

“To face up to public criticism like this, is no mean feat.”

Other locals said the SMRT CEO is a brave man for sheltering his staff from public abuse by ensuring he himself still has a job and be the lightning road for criticism, while his former employee can no longer be blamed as he is now unemployed.

Another local, Yong Gan, said: “I seldom see such brave behaviour on the part of CEOs, to come out openly and claim responsibility on behalf of his employee.”

“If this happened in other organisations, I’m pretty sure the first to go would be the whole board of directors and management.”

“So, it is good that SMRT CEO managed to save many jobs by having one person take the blame for all.”

“The last thing we need is a CEO who doesn’t admit he is wrong or make a sound, despite heading one of the largest public-listed companies in Singapore.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Smoke in Tanjong Pagar MRT a tribute to SMRT’s ex-military leader Desmond Kuek

Smoke in Tanjong Pagar MRT a tribute to SMRT’s ex-military leader Desmond Kuek

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Those in the armed forces regularly throw smoke as part of training.

tanjong-pagar-mrt-smoke

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to take public transport because cars are for rich people, are relieved to learn that the smoke in Tanjong Pagar MRT was part of a tribute-paying exercise to SMRT’s ex-military leader Desmond Quek.

One Singaporean, Hen Duo Yen, said: “Initially I thought it was a terrorist attack. And then it dawned on me this could be a false alarm to test Singapore’s preparedness in the face of threats.”

“And finally I realised throwing smoke to keep other things hidden might in fact be a way of life for some, such as those in the military.”

Other locals said they thoroughly enjoyed the experience and hope to have more of it happening regularly.

Bai Yee, another local, said: “It really broke up the monotony of the Monday.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans put SMRT up for sale on Carousell

S’poreans put SMRT up for sale on Carousell

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Low ball offers will not be entertained.

smrt-carousell

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are looking for extra income opportunities, have put up SMRT on Carousell for sale.

This after they heard the national public transport operator has interested buyers.

One Singaporean, Na Qu Mai, said: “SMRT belongs to Singaporeans. We will make the sale to the highest bidder and split the money equally with all the people.”

“Low balling will not be entertained.”

Other locals said the sale of SMRT on Carousell is a good idea.

Zhuan Da Qian, another local, said: “There is no need to pay commission and it is cash and carry and the transaction of exchanging goods with money can be done conveniently at MRT stations, which is exactly what we are selling.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





S’poreans urge SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join ERP so that gantries will spoil & send back to China

S’poreans urge SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join ERP so that gantries will spoil & send back to China

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A switching of roles will greatly benefit everyone.

desmond-kuek-media

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who like to drive because public transport is for nation-building efforts, have come out to offer some advice.

They are urging SMRT CEO Desmond Kuek to join Electronic Road Pricing (ERP) as Chief Executive Officer instead, as this will help ERP gantries island-wide to break down more frequently and develop hairline cracks, which will cause them to be sent back to China for repair for several years.

One Singaporean, Mei Huai Guo, said: “Things that must spoil, don’t spoil. Things that shouldn’t spoil, always spoil. Why like that?”

“CTE weekday morning ERP rate is $5 for cars. If one month can spoil twice, I would be so happy.”

Other Singaporeans said even if the SMRT CEO is unable to make the full transition to ERP and help their gantries to spoil more often, he should still go there on a short stint to learn how they make their thing not spoil so often.

Another Singaporean, Didi Pai, said: “Life in Singapore can be made so much happier if things can just turn out another way.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Buying defective MRT trains from China will help S’pore’s learning culture

Buying defective MRT trains from China will help S’pore’s learning culture

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No need for blame.

smrt-carriages-defective

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe blame is only reserved for the opposition and anti-establishment types, have come out to console SMRT.

This after it was discovered that a total of 26 China-made SMRT trains were sent back to fix defects.

One Singaporean, Mei Wen Ti, said: “This is part of Singapore’s learning culture.”

“By buying defective goods, we will learn to buy better ones in the future. There is no need for blame.”

“We must, in fact, buy more to learn more.”

Other locals said Singaporeans must learn to look beyond the faults and pick out learning points for themselves.

Another Singaporean, Huai Diao, said: “The pain and regret of buying defective trains and throwing money down the drain is punishment enough.”

“We must move forward.”

“But if the trains are spoilt, then of course, they can neither move forward nor backward on their own.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





Defective SMRT train carriages to be repaired in time for SG54, GE2019

Defective SMRT train carriages to be repaired in time for SG54, GE2019

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No worries, all in good time.

smrt-carriages

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who believe you get monkeys if you paid peanuts, are being reassured that the defective SMRT train carriages — currently being shipped back to their Chinese manufacturer — will be repaired in time for SG54 and GE2019.

This after it was revealed that cracks were found on a batch of new trains delivered to SMRT in 2013 and the whole process to get them fixed would take six years by the year 2019.

One Singaporean, Gan En, said she is very touched by how quickly things are moving: “I was told that the trains will be up and running again just in time for SG54 celebrations.”

“What a milestone.”

“Otherwise, I would not have known they were even broken if it were not for some weird website on the Internet.”

Other locals said the train carriages being re-delivered back to Singapore in several years’ time will help boost morale of the population as they head back to the polls for the next General Election 2019.

One other local, Tou Piao, said: “By GE2019, this election hot button issue would have been quelled and Singaporeans would have once again forgotten how all these negative things that have happened took place without the public’s knowledge until a whistle-blowing news organisation came along to shed light on it.”

“What a great ending.”

 

 

 

 

 

 





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