Tag Archive | "Singaporeans"

Self-sufficient S’poreans so self-reliant they start their own parliament

Self-sufficient S’poreans so self-reliant they start their own parliament

Tags: ,

They have decided to dispense with parliamentary politics and no longer need to rely on the state for anything.


Saying that they have achieved self-sufficiency and are self-reliant enough to see to all their own needs including those of their surrounding community, a group of Singaporeans have started their own parliament.

This after they felt they no longer need to rely on the state for anything, such as democratic representation, elected officials and parliamentary politics.

Speaking on behalf of the group, Zhuo Zong Li, one of the self-reliant Singaporeans, said this leaves them with no choice but to divert all their leftover resources to building up the community and representing other Singaporeans’ interests by themselves: “As self-reliant Singaporeans, our group has come to recognise our own abilities in providing for ourselves and the rest. So, we hope to alleviate the burden of others who might not be as self-reliant yet.”

“Moreover, we do not discriminate on who we can help or who we choose to represent, unlike the current political parties in parliament that are governed by each of their own narrow partisan beliefs and ideologies, catered to certain segments of Singaporean society.”

On their decision to dispense with parliamentary politics altogether, Zhuo said it is something Singapore needs now: “As we are not elected officials, no one can ever accuse us of being partisan as we are not into party politicking and we truly serve one and all.”

“We would even be keen to serve the interests of current MPs in parliament if need be.”

Other self-reliant Singaporeans said starting their own parliament to address concerns and issues of other Singaporeans-at-large is in line with the state’s original message of not developing a crutch mentality and doing what one can to help others, be it family or friends.

Zho Zeng Hu, another self-reliant Singaporean, said: “We have always been chastised by the government that we shouldn’t be reliant on the state for help, resources and support networks, or else, we’d lapse into a crutch mentality. So now, we just take things to their logical conclusion.”

“By being self-sufficient citizens who can provide ourselves everything, including our own parliament, in the process, we can also give back to the community and constituents by representing their interests.”

At press time, the self-sufficient citizens said they are looking to starting their own military as they no longer need to rely on the state for providing them with defence.


Some have started their own army for other reasons:

500 S’porean men, women & children start volunteer army to protect MINDEF from online harassment










S’poreans more gracious now, say ‘Please, diu lay lo mo, thank you’ instead of just ‘diu lay’

S’poreans more gracious now, say ‘Please, diu lay lo mo, thank you’ instead of just ‘diu lay’

Tags: , , ,

After getting sentenced for spitting on another person, they will also say sorry and show remorse.


Singaporeans from all walks of life are reportedly more gracious now compared to last year and the year before, according to the Graciousness Index by the Singapore Kindness Movement.

This after survey respondents gave Singapore an arbitrary score of 61 out of 100 this year. Last year the arbitrary score was 55 and the year before in 2013 was an even more arbitrary 53.

Hum Kar Chang, a local, said: “What does this arbitrary score even mean? How do respondents even rate themselves and others objectively for being considerate, courteous and showing appreciation?”

“However, Singaporeans nowadays will say ‘Please, diu lay lo mo, thank you’ instead of just ‘diu lay’.”

“Like there is this video where the man in it said in a civilised tone, ‘You wish’, in what could have been a much more unruly and violent scuffle.”


“Then when people do end up in court for spitting on people, they will show remorse and say sorry in a courteous way.”

“So you can say Singaporeans are becoming more gracious over time.”

“Actually Singaporeans are wary that there are more cameras around to police considerate behaviour.”

“So when people say we need religion or God to be better behaved, what it means is that we need more cameras and eyes in the sky.”


Singaporeans last time more aggressive:

Vet who put down ‘aggressive’ puppy should put down aggressive spitting S’porean

What do S’poreans think of foreigners?

What do S’poreans think of foreigners?

Tags: , , , ,

Here are some well-thought answers to this question.


What are some thoughts that Singaporeans have of foreigners? Expats? Anyone who is not local?

Here are some observations culled from various highly-qualified sources that contradict one another:

1. There is an aspirational mindset among Singaporeans that they want to be more like foreigners as far as possible because there are perks. This is due to a few simple reasons: One, going overseas before returning back here will signal that you have “made it” somehow. Two, foreigners do not need to serve National Service. They can come to Singapore to enjoy the free defence.

Source: More S’poreans want to become foreigners to enjoy higher quality of life


2. Foreigners who work here as manual labourers are thought of as never, ever having any problems.

This view was most pronounced during the Little India riot in December 2013. Singapore believed that foreign workers rioted because they were feeling okay, like it was just a regular thing to do.

Source: Foreign workers rioted because they were feeling okay


3. Foreigners in Singapore are at the mercy of their economic caste. There is a simple binary view of things here: If you can afford the better things in life, you are pretty much okay. If you can’t, you might be a nuisance.

Source: S’pore researcher discovers expensive alcohol contains crucial anti-rioting properties


4. Some foreigners are considered better at holding their liquor than others. And alcohol is seen as this manipulative substance that does things to foreigners that make them act out sometimes.

Source: Alcohol failed to cause riot at Clark Quay the past year since Little India riot occurred


5. Foreigners have fun in Singapore at the expense of the mainstream media. They like to do stuff to fool them.

Source: Random people wear checked shirts in Little India to fool mainstream media


6. At the end of the day, Singaporeans would not have been xenophobic had it not been for the presence of foreigners.

Source: S’poreans blame foreigners for xenophobia


Likewise, you wouldn’t get divorced if you didn’t get married:

5 real reasons why more S’porean couples get divorced within 5 years of marriage

S’porean couples say Valentine’s Day good time to relive good old days when they first got together, free from problems

S’porean couples say Valentine’s Day good time to relive good old days when they first got together, free from problems

Tags: , ,

It really takes them back, they say.


Singaporean couples from all walks of life who are out and about on Feb. 14, 2015 celebrating Valentine’s Day via extravagant public displays of affection and avarice, announced that this one day in the year really takes them back to their early days of dating where they were free from relationship problems.

One couple attributed this new love feeling on this day to the fact that the two people in the relationship have little choice but to behave civilly in front of other couples out and about on V Day, who are also keeping their instincts of lashing out at their significant other in check.

Tao Yan Ni, a local man, said Valentine’s Day is the best day for him as he gets to keep his disdain for his girlfriend of four years under wraps by subjugating those feelings of natural disgust he has for her under the guise of playful pre-pubescent gushing: “Valentine’s Day is great because it is the one day in the whole year she has to behave civilly towards me in public and keep up with appearances.”

Ad by Wikiproperty.co

Ad by Wikiproperty.co (Singapore)

“You have no idea how liberating it is on V Day to push back these impulses of raising my voice and telling her I had enough of her antics and self-centredness like I do every other day.”

“I’m pretty sure this feeling is mutual.”

Other couples said delaying blowing up and quarrelling in full view of others until February 15th is what makes Cupid’s Day so special for them.

Lai Sio Pah, a Singaporean woman in her 30s, said: “A lot of seething anger goes unresolved on February 14th every year, but this day really takes your mind off fighting because me and my boyfriend acknowledge it as the internationally recognised day of truce.”

“It really allows each of us to mull over our own hatred for the other person in private, instead of shouting it out loud and throwing things on the floor like we usually do.”

“Plus, it is amazing how reminding ourselves that others are watching us as we head out in public can turn both of us into lovey dovey 20-year-olds all over again.”

However, this experience is not restricted to couples who are still dating and not married yet

Having had several extra-marital affairs behind her husband’s back and being found out once, Neng Tuah Liap said Valentine’s Day spent with her spouse in public now still takes her back to the days when they first got together, lost in each other’s goo goo eyes and smiles and without the guilt: “Having our unresolved problems accumulated over the years put on the backburner on V Day has given us a glimpse of what it is like to be really in love, something we’ve not felt in ages.”

“This is what I imagine truly happy couples to feel in their day-to-day lives.”

At press time, truly happy couples who are really in love are reportedly avoiding putting up a front on Valentine’s Day and staying clear of the crowds outdoors by staying in and pampering their significant other with home cooked food, a massage and being playful under the sheets, like they always do the rest of the 364 days a year.


This is to help everyone fall in love on Valentine’s Day:

Serina Wee GIFs prove God exists, ends 2,000-year-old debate


Ad powered by Outfluencer Network Advertising™

S’poreans blame foreigners for xenophobia

S’poreans blame foreigners for xenophobia

Tags: , ,

Because locals cannot cause xenophobia.

The primary cause of xenophobia is foreigners.

The primary cause of xenophobia is foreigners.

Some Singaporeans from some walks of life are blaming foreigners.

This after Singaporean-foreigner relations got a bit more testy these past few weeks as both sides engaged in territorial disputes over who has access to a place in Orchard Road, ironically named, Ngee Ann City Civic Plaza.

One Singaporean, Ben Di Ren, said: “If there were no foreigners in Singapore, Singaporeans wouldn’t even be xenophobic in the first place.”

Other locals backed up this logic.

Hui Jia Xiang, another local, said: “If foreigners leave Singapore now, there will be no xenophobia left.”

Some other locals also jumped to the defence of this logic

Wai Guo Ren, another Singaporean, said: “Singaporeans are very peace-loving people. It is the foreigners who are the cause of xenophobia. So you must blame foreigners for causing animosity instead.”

The fable of the horses and S’poreans

The fable of the horses and S’poreans

Tags: , ,


One fine day, a herd of horses escaped their stable in Pasir Ris and galloped away.

With their new found freedom, they wandered one street down the road to a nearby cross junction and started grazing on grass.

Within a few minutes, a group of Singaporeans who were passing by stopped and gawked at the horses.

A few in the group whipped out their camera phones and started taking pictures, intrigued by the scene before them, as it is not every day horses appear by the road grazing.

The horses continued to graze on the grass, oblivious, or else, not trying very hard to ignore the commotion.

It was not long before one Singaporean, unable to hold it in anymore, raised his voice to address the horses.

Speaking what was clearly on the minds of all the other Singaporeans who were present, he said:

“Oh my god! Why are you all here? There are so many other places you can go, so many sights to explore. You have the means and the mobility to go anywhere you want. You can live your dream! The world is your oyster! You are free! Be not afraid! Why don’t you go elsewhere? It is so foolish to stay here and focus all your attention on this small area, thinking you can have your fill!”

Without breaking a sweat and nary batting an eyelid, one of the horses, who was clearly the leader, coolly raised its head and with a mouthful of grass in its mouth, said:

“Oh my god! Why are you all here? There are so many other places you can go, so many sights to explore. You have the means and the mobility to go anywhere you want. You can live your dream! The world is your oyster! You are free! Be not afraid! Why don’t you go elsewhere? It is so foolish to stay here and focus all your attention on this small area, thinking you can have your fill!”

With that, the Singaporeans and the horses looked at each other and appreciated each others’ lot in life.

The End.

6 in 10 S’poreans lie when giving survey answers

6 in 10 S’poreans lie when giving survey answers

Tags: , , ,

This after only 4 in 10 Singaporeans say they prejudge others based on race.


Singaporeans in general are not very good at being truthful when answering surveys, a survey showed.

This after only 4 in 10 Singaporeans openly admitted that they prejudge others based on race.

This was one of a host of findings revealed at an Institute of Policy Studies and OnePeople.sg forum on indicators of racial and religious harmony on Wednesday morning.

Everyone knows everyone prejudges other people.

Unless you are Pope Francis. Or Mother Teresa.

The IPS research fellow who led and presented the findings of the study is Mathew Mathews.

See? Can you not judge when you see a name like Matthew Matthews? Is it because he is so good they named him twice?

Illustration: A S’porean’s life on wheels

Illustration: A S’porean’s life on wheels

Tags: , , ,

When words are not enough to express how you feel…

By Barry Schmelly

An illustration of your life in terms of wheels.

The end.

Man’s ass stabbed twice during dispute

Man’s ass stabbed twice during dispute

Tags: , , , , , ,

However, no fatalities reported.

Photo: WOUTER VERHELST / Creative Commons

ROMANIA — A row between two men resulted in one man stabbing the other’s ass.

By the time treatment could be sought for the injured fellow, the two stab wounds were found to have been infected and oozing pus.

In the process of trying to cleanse the infected area, hair around the open wounds on the ass had to be cut off and it was found to be covered with maggots.

The owner of the ass said his ass “almost certainly would have died” if he was left to treat the injury by himself.

However, the donkey survived after an hour of treatment and antibiotic injections administered by members of The Donkey Sanctuary.

The cause of the dispute is unknown but two men involved are neighbouring farmers in Cernavoda, Romania, a country fondly remembered by Singaporeans as the home of diplomat Silviu Ionescu who fled Singapore after allegedly being involved in a hit-and-run accident that left one person dead and two others injured.

Read the original article here.

Know of a WTF News happening around the world? Tell us what you think of it and write to us at [email protected]. Funny entries will be published.

Is Singapore a renaissance city?

Is Singapore a renaissance city?

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Not quite, but it’s getting there. All the government has to do now is to become less of a control freak.

By Terence Lee

Crazy Horse is lame compared to nyotaimori --serving sushi on a naked women's body. Secret Cooks Club -- a private dinner club in Singapore -- organised one such session recently.

SOMETHING strange is happening in Singapore, the nipple of an island-state in South-East Asia that’s more well-known for caning naughty American brat Michael Fay and banning chewing gum.

It’s no longer boring.

For years, the liberal Western media have drilled into readers ad nauseam about Singapore’s human rights violations and strict government control on every aspect of their citizens’ lives.

Most recently, a German TV variety show ridiculed the country, claiming that Singaporeans with fever are barred from entering any building. “Singaporeans are not just crazy, they are tremendously crazy,” concludes the host of the show.

Singaporeans, predictably, went mad over it.

But I think being called “crazy” is a good thing. I’m sure Singaporeans will agree that being labelled as bonkers is a step up from “boring”. Remember that just a while ago, a local journalist was whacked silly by her countrymen for calling Singapore a stale place.

Perhaps we can attribute another trait to Singaporeans: Hard-to-please.

Think of it this way: People are more likely to visit Singapore if it’s a “crazy” place rather than a “boring” place, right? No harm swindling tourists of a few extra gazillion dollars just so they can ogle at exotic Asian women (which Singaporean man cannot get),  and buy a few kitsch souvenirs from exotic Chinatown (which locals find too plasticky).

These things aside, the perception towards Singapore amongst liberal Western know-it-all journalists are indeed showing signs of change.

Take this article by the New York Times, for instance, which talks about the expanding “cultural realm” in the island-state. Singapore has a developing art and indie fashion scene. And if you want food, there’s plenty, and in all varieties.

Another write-up, this time by the Guardian from the United Kingdom, expands on this theme, exploring Singapore’s “culinary renaissance”. Secret dinner clubs are thriving in Singapore, and one of them, Secret Cooks Club (which is no secret anymore), recently held a dinner with sushi served on a naked woman.

If that isn’t crazy and sexy, I don’t know what is!

There are more examples.

The Pink Nipple swells.

Just a few days ago, a record 10,000 supporters donned pink and turned up at the Speaker’s Corner to support the right for Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transgender people to love and be loved. The event, called Pink Dot, culminated in the formation of a giant, well, pink dot on the field. In a country where homosexual sex is banned, such show of solidarity is astounding.

That same week, Echelon 2011, a fledging annual conference for tech startups, was held. Eager young entrepreneurs from Singapore and Asia converged at the National University of Singapore to display their wares and network with angel investors and venture capitalists from all around the world.

The highlight of the event was a competition where 11 startups from Asia pitched their business ideas to a panel of judges consisting of established entrepreneurs and investors. It’s no surprise who won: Lee Min Xuan, who co-founded Playmoolah with fellow Singapore belle Audrey Tan, impressed judges and the audience with her solid presentation and quick wit.

Just a flash in the pan, you say?

Not quite. Last year, local mobile security company tenCube was acquired by McAfee in a deal estimated to be worth about US$25 million, making CEO and founder Darius Cheung a very rich man.

And consider how Facebook co-founder Eduardo Saverin and CD Baby founder Derek Sivers (both big names) have both made Singapore their home. I must say something is indeed brewing in the kitchen, and it smells really good.

That brings me to my next point: Singapore, as a renaissance city, is still a dish being cooked. It’s work in progress.

So far, the government has its hands in everything: Arts, media, business, and people’s sex lives. Yes, they care about who (or what) gets into your pants. No doubt, initial government support and funding is crucial to grow Singapore’s cultural and creative space. But letting go is crucial for maturation.

Already, this is slowly happening in the political realm, where laws governing politicking using social media were loosened. Just as importantly, no politicians were sued during the last elections.

But more can be done: Censorship of positive gay portrayals in the local TV channels still occur. In that space, gays are treated like bogeymen who are used to scare children. The Singapore entrepreneurial scene, while growing, can do with more mentorship and private funding.

As Singaporeans embark on a trip towards cultural and financial nirvana, I propose they smell the roses a bit more. Stop the car, pee in the bushes, shag your wives, and watch the sunrise together.

Alternative news websites like The Online Citizen and Temasek Review, while serving an important function in the country, whine way too much. They feed off the negative energy of angry Singaporeans, creating a vortex of discontent and pessimism.

And in the process, they forget that Singapore is in many ways the envy of the world.

Join our community on FacebookTwitter, or follow us on the S.alt app for Android.