Tag Archive | "singaporean"

Hiatus-triggered S’porean dates minority woman after 5 Chinese girlfriends

Hiatus-triggered S’porean dates minority woman after 5 Chinese girlfriends

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This is so as Singapore is a multi-racial society.

hiatus-triggered-singaporean-man-date

A hiatus-triggered Singaporean man has mustered up the courage and approached a minority lady to ask her out on a dinner date, to the applause of Singaporeans from all walks of life, who are still seen as coming from different races despite being one united people.

This after the Chinese man recently broke up with his fifth Chinese girlfriend in a row, signalling his next girlfriend must come from a minority race.

The Chinese man, Zhen Chee Hong, said: “According to my body’s constitution, when a lady from any racial group has not occupied my life after five continuous individuals from the same race, the next woman I date will be reserved for a minority racial group.”

“For this purpose, my love life has categorised the relevant racial groups into three: Chinese, Malay and Indian and other communities.”

“This reserved minority girlfriend slot will likely encourage women from that absent group to step forward into my life.”

Other locals who heard of the Chinese man’s scheme are impressed.

Another local, Hua Ren, said: “It is good that the Chinese man is bringing Parliament-approved national policy into his everyday life. This shows he is a practical man who abides by Singapore’s logic of proportional representation.”

“The Chinese man could have gone on dating Chinese women and pretending he is a benevolent person, but he actually ownself check ownself.”

“A very Chinese logic, nonetheless.”

 





Take the porn out of Singaporean

Take the porn out of Singaporean

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Then it will be Singaea.

Photo stolen from redsports.sg

Photo stolen from redsports.sg

Dear New Nation editors,

Seeing the word “porn” spelt out every time “Singaporean” is used to described someone from Singapore evokes a feeling that is somewhat bittersweet.

“Porn” is a word that refers to a medium that emphasises sexual stimulation and creates mental images of sensual thoughts.

“Singaporean” has been used plenty of times at the recent Asian Games to describe athletes from Singapore. And when people talk about Changi Airport, the gateway to our country, they will inevitably talk about Singaporeans.

Sports and travel are two of the most visible platforms through which we project ourselves to the world. “Porn” is the word projected when we make a name for ourselves on these platforms, as Singaporeans will be mentioned.

Porn from other countries is well known, for better or for worse.

Whenever Singaporeans are elevated into focus, the image must be one that is in keeping with our cultural and social mores.

A Singaporean is not a porn star. But, with the use of the word “SingaPOReaN”, the eye will make the association with “porn”, even if the heart and mind know otherwise.

Is it in our national interest for “porn” to be associated with SingaPOReaNs?

We should consider adopting the less-used (but not lesser) name Sinkies.

“Sinkies” is, after all, the Internet name of preference for Singaporeans.

Furthermore, “Sinkies” corresponds to the belief that we will sink, unless we float as an island.

It looks better, sounds better and unifies all usage and application.

Or we can always call ourselves Lee Kuan Yewians.

The Straits Times Forum Letter writer inevitably contributed to this letter.

 

Come, let’s get offended together:

Publicity poster for SEA Games 2015 causes offense as it features the words ‘Willie’, ‘Loo’ & ‘SIN’

S’pore shouldn’t use SIN to represent us in sports because it’s a dirty word

 





S’poreans proud of Cecilia Cheung even though she is not a S’porean

S’poreans proud of Cecilia Cheung even though she is not a S’porean

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They want Cecilia Cheung to take over soon-to-be ex-Singaporean Stephanie Koh’s citizenship.

Cecilia-Cheung-willing-hear

Singaporeans from all walks of life, who can be quite judgemental, are clapping their hands and nodding with approval.

This after they discovered that Hong Kong actress Cecilia Cheung has been helping out in the community by distributing food to the needy since relocating to Singapore two months ago.

One Singaporean, Hen Jiao Au, said: “We need more people like Cecilia Cheung in Singapore, who can do something.”

“Maybe she should take over someone’s citizenship if they so don’t want it.”

This sentiment comes a few days after K Pop sensation Stephanie Koh made a YouTube video explaining why she is not proud to be a Singaporean.

S’poreans embrace Stephanie Koh as a real true blue S’porean

S’poreans embrace Stephanie Koh as a real true blue S’porean

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She has all the traits of a real Singaporean.

Photo stolent from @WimpyLion

Photo stolent from @WimpyLion

Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying levels of acceptance are embracing K Pop sensation Stephanie Koh as a true blue ideal Singaporean.

This after she made a YouTube video complaining why she is not proud to be a Singaporean.

Her video resulted in Singapore issuing her a rebuttal explaining why she is actually a typical Singaporean.

Other Singaporeans have since joined in to embrace Stephanie Koh as one of their own because she has many similar traits with the population-at-large.

One Singaporean, Kan Bu Qi, elaborated why Stephanie Koh is an ideal Singaporean: “She has all the traits. Whiny and like to complain. A bit pretentious also.”

Another local, Yao Yee Ming, said: “Real Singaporeans also like to talk about quitting this country. They like to talk and talk, especially online.”

“The way she processes her thoughts, I can imagine myself inside of her.”

S’poreans agree with what K Pop superstar Stephanie Koh said on YouTube

S’poreans agree with what K Pop superstar Stephanie Koh said on YouTube

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She is correct because she made a video of it, they said.

stephanie-koh

Singaporeans from all walks of life with varying propensities to take a lecture from some random stranger, are nodding their heads in agreement.

This after 21-year-old Stephanie Koh, Singapore’s most successful K Pop star, made a YouTube video explaining why she is not proud to be a Singaporean.

Koh, who is also called Steph Micayle because people in entertainment have many different monikers, said she is not proud of her nationality as Singaporeans are narrow-minded and stuff, among other things.

One Singaporean, Gong Jiao Wei, said: “I agree with what she says because the video is 13 minutes long and that means it must be thoughtful.”

Others who actually watched the video, said they were equally impressed.

Another local, Bu Xing Xian, said: “Yes, I enjoy listening to these arguments that have been rehashed again and again for the last 30 years but they seem fresh once more because someone with pink hair said it and made it into a vlog.”

More S’poreans want to enjoy higher quality of life by becoming foreigners

More S’poreans want to enjoy higher quality of life by becoming foreigners

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Because foreigners have lesser responsibilities, more opportunities.

More Singaporeans want to become foreigners. Because foreigners deemed more sexy, got less responsibility and are more in demand. Except try not to be like Sun Ho.

More Singaporeans want to become foreigners. Because foreigners deemed more sexy, got less responsibility and are more in demand. Except try not to be like Sun Ho.

With the recent talk about expanding Singapore’s population to seven million inhabitants and counting, Singaporeans are increasingly expressing their desire to turn themselves into foreigners to enjoy a higher quality of life here.

The reasons provided by such Singaporeans are aplenty.

One foreigner-wannabe Singaporean, Ang Moh Quee, said: “As a foreigner, I don’t need to do National Service. Look what a PAP MP mooted on Facebook: In the future, if you are a foreigner setting down roots here, you can just pay some money. And watch the local boys waste two years of their lives, ‘serving the nation’.”

Others, are convinced that being a foreigner will spell more opportunities career-wise.

Another foreigner-aspirant Singaporean, Wai Guo Ren, said: “As a foreigner, the government will automatically think you are better than locals. And even the locals will think that you are better than them.”

He continued: “Look at Stefanie Sun. She is not even true-blue foreigner. But an overseas stint made her more popular back home here, where no one initially gave a damn about her when she first started out.”

However, there are others with a clear head and kind heart who point out that such logic and thinking is not right.

Ben Di Ren, a true-blue Singaporean patriot said: “Look at Pastor Kong Hee’s wife, Sun Ho. Went to US to become a Japanese geisha, but still not popular in Singapore what.”

 

 

 

 

 









Classic Singaporean comebacks

Classic Singaporean comebacks

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Cabinet minister Grace Fu puts foot into mouth on Facebook. Here are five of the best Singaporean comebacks from her post.

THE BEST COMEBACK

 

ALL THE OTHER RUNNER-UPS
(Hmmm… This quote sounds awfully familiar…)

 

 

 

Glorifying a porn star

Glorifying a porn star

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Where the latest book about  infamous Singaporean ex-porn star Annabel Chong suffers and why it needs to be read in the context of other porn writings on the web.

By Belmont Lay

This is an article published in The Straits Times on May 23, 1999. Check out the caption. Who said New Nation editors are the only cheeky bastards around?

Annabel Chong, aka Grace Quek, is featured as a campy braless Wonder Woman-esque superhero treating the entire Central Business District around her ankles to an upskirt whilst arms akimbo.

This cover art is accompanied by a comic ka-pow caption with the exclamation: “Demystifying the legend of Singapore’s most famous pornstar!”

This cartoon caricature of a larger-than-life character is chosen as the cover art of Gerrie Lim’s latest book, Singapore Rebel, a title acknowledged as a respectful nod to rebel filmmaker Martyn See (not that the book has anything to do with him or dissident politician Chee Soon Juan).

And this is a book that is supposed to render an intellectual, argumentative thesis that is Annabel Chong: penetrative, comprehensible and convincing.

And that’s a tall order.

So much has been said about Annabel since her 1995 record-smashing gangbang where she committed 251 sex acts in ten hours with approximately 70 men that it is easy to depict her as a depraved nympho and leave it at that.

But this effort by Gerrie, going back in time and digging through archives of Annabel Chong interviews, is supposed to take you under her skin, so to speak. The book reexamines and explains why she is still culturally relevant and sensational after all these years, and also identifies the perpetual source of angst and rebellion for people like Gerrie and Annabel who can only find a sense of belonging in subcultures that can never be bred in Singapore.

In both cases, it is her ability to feel comfortably at home in the adult entertainment industry.

And be professional about it while sending a highly personal and political message, as I would imagine, back to conservative Singapore.

But is this effort by Gerrie, an author of numerous non-fiction books and articles inside and outside the adult entertainment industry, capable of swinging people’s perception of Annabel Chong?

Highly unlikely.

You see, Singapore’s most famous pornstar is an oddity. Because when you think about it, countless Singaporeans have squeezed past and fallen through our system, but there has only been one case of Annabel Chong.

And when you get on with the book, she becomes more problematic because she poses a formidable challenge to everything we know and assume we know about women, sex, passivity and harlotry.

She is intense, aggressive and dangerous in her approach of making a poignant point through her work in porn. And when she left, she left abruptly, to become a computer programmer, no less.

She is, and rather accurately portrayed I guess, as a major bird-flipper, a hardworking, living, breathing example of an eff-you to all the perceived public and private institutions of uprightness, moral rectitude and normality.

In the cold, sterile and clinical academic approach to objective study of a subject by Gerrie, the vagina is touted as a sheath that protects the penis, a weapon in its own right, and so it shouldn’t get hurt from penetration.

She possesses that sort of daring-do that pushes the boundaries of political incorrectness and possibilities.

But you, as the reader of the text, need to work very hard to get beyond the vulgar display of rebellion to arrive at its political meaning and try to understand what motivated Annabel Chong to be an atypical Singaporean.

And that’s only the beginning of the tricky part.

Next, try not to be floored by some of the main arguments put forth by the book:

  • The act of sex can be used as a parody
  • Sex, when focused on numbers, is ridiculous because the joke’s on you if you’re keeping count (e.g. how do you define one act of penetration?)
  • Sex is empowering for women as not all of them are exploited or feel exploited because there is such a thing as “consensual degradation” and because women enjoy sex and do make more money than men while doing it professionally
  • Plus, Annabel Chong is the female version of a male stud because she can have it all

Oh yes, and lastly, in the cold, sterile and clinical academic approach to objective study of a subject by Gerrie, the vagina is touted as a sheath that protects the penis, a weapon in its own right, and so it shouldn’t get hurt from penetration.

In all seriousness, Gerrie also writes in his book: “She was extolling the virtues of more open-minded thinking through a seemingly grosteque act committed in full public view via the technology of home video.”

Which makes one wonder: Is it possible to take the premise of a pornographic gangbang to such logical conclusions and on such academic terms?

And am I being a close-minded twit for not thinking so?

What Gerrie can proposition with cocksure assurance and composure, you might not necessary swallow whole.

To read the book on its own, and express incredulity, is therefore, intuitive and reasonable. That much you should expect from the average reader.

So this is where you might have to look elsewhere for supporting complementary text to put what Gerrie has to say in context.

And this is also where the book suffers.

Singapore Rebel becomes ineffable and alienating because you cannot automatically draw connections. It needs relations, like other penetrative carnal accounts of porn and why people do what they do, which can be easily accessed on the web (like how you can find real porn!).

 

Take, for example, this piece of writing about Sasha Grey (apparently famous enough to appear on TV for an interview with Tyra Banks.)

Or this one about John Holmes (whose legendary schlong is modestly described as “bigger than a pay phone, smaller than a Cadillac”).

Or this piece by a somewhat unknown ex-entertainment editor of Hustler magazine, who shamelessly and falsely ranked himself as the “Top 50 most influential people in the adult industry” because “deception and lies are the essence of pornography”.

In all three cases, it provides a sneak peak into what drives such characters and the range of personalities that exists within the porn subculture.

They’re all exasperating reads but they should serve as writings worth making comparisons with.

But there exists two other minor points that are recurring bugbears: Gerrie’s book can take the form of a rebuke to conservative minds and there is a sense of aggrandisement of the Annabel Chong phenomenon.

On the latter, I only have this to say: The best way that anyone can think of the Annabel Chong phenomenon is that it remains dormant for periods during remission only to act up once in a while.

Just like a case of herpes.

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